Conker’s Bad Fur Day – Part 2

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                  Windy Again
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Back outside, the sun is shining, the bees are buzzing, and the smell of poo is
in the air. You can pick up a wad of cash before you get started here by going
over to the wasp next. There are 4 openings, as you can see. One is guarded by 
a vicious beast and two are out of your range. Head for the only one you can 
get to. It's on the left. You'll come out on the ledge on the right, and from 
there's it's a high jump and a spin to the next one up. You'll emerge behind a 
wad of cash. 

When you're done, don your gas mask and take the brown path you passed on your 
way to Barn Boys.

Poo Cabin
`````````
The dung beetle says you need to make the cows poo if you want a ball, so head
to the left and stand on the trapdoor to make Conker head down. Run to the end
of the hallway and make a flying helicopter leap onto the rope you see there. 
Climb that one, then jump to the one in front of it. When you reach the top of 
this one, make a leap of faith to the other rope hanging from the same beam, 
then climb down (or up) that one until you can see the source of the poofall.
Jump into the hole. Run up the ramp and out into the light.

Pruned
``````
In the cowpen, you'll come face-to-face with a bull. He doesn't like red. Go
figure. Conker's orange, but just go along with it and pretend he's red, 'cause
he *is* a red squirrel, after all. Head around to the side of the entrance, and 
you should encounter a ramp with falling pooballs.

Wait for a gap, then jump up onto the ramp. If you stay close to the wall, the
passing pooballs should miss you, so you're relatively safe. Once you reach the 
top, hop onto those last few platforms and do a high jump onto the keg. At the 
end of it is a giant tap, so run around in circles in the direction of the 
arrow to start the flow. Prune juice is enough to free even the most 
constipated of people, so once you find some cows, filling up the poo pit 
should be no problem.

Yee-Haa!
````````
As you can see, a target has popped out. Your job is to make the bull hit the 
target. The bull wants to hit Conker. Have we made the connection yet? Go stand
in front of the bullseye. When the cow appears, run over to the new target and 
wait for the bull to get stuck, then hop on. 

Take your bull over to the cow and charge. After she's had a drink, she'll have
a nasty case of the "screaming squits." I'm pretty sure they censored shit 
everywhere else, so why let it go here? Hm... Anyway, drive your bull towards 
her and charge to witness more pointless gore, and another target will appear. 

Repeat with the next cow (you'll have to hit her twice before she'll drink) and
the one after that (three times this time), and you're done. Go back out via 
the hole or the way you came in.

Sewage Sucks
````````````
Swim into the the hole in the wall if you followed the bull and look for a 
Context Pad whether you did or not. Conker will take some Confidence Pills,
which allow him to dive and swim underwater. Or underpoo, as the case may be.

Read the instruction manual if you must, then jump into the water and swim back
out through the hole in the wall. There's a tail at the end of the beam that
you can take, but eventually you'll have to go down. Just for the record, the 
bull is floating around somewhere in the middle. Find the original entrance to
the poo cavern and swim in. At this point, you should be able to grab the cash
that was calling you in the beginning, so do that. It's in a little alcove. If
you surface and turn around, you can see it. So, get that, then go back out
into the pooey mess and swim into the hole on the bottom. You'll end up back
in the poo cabin. The beetle is gone, so go outside.

Great Balls of Poo
``````````````````
As you can see, there is now a ball of poo at your disposal. Oh, joy. Go behind
it and start pushing. Take the ball around the poo house and up the ramp beyond 
it. Push it up as far as you can (watch out for the dung beetles; they hurt) 
and shove it over the edge. The giant beetle sitting there will chow down and
explode, what with the dynamite Conker shoved into the poo and all. It's safe 
to walk past now.

Jump back down and push the next ball of poo past the boarded up entrance sort
of thing. Not up the ramp, but up the mountain. Again, keep an eye out for 
those dung beetles. When you reach the end of the ramp, shove your ball into 
the cave-like thing at the top to open up the passage at the bottom of the
mountain. 

At the top, you can here a wad of cash calling for you. Do a high jump to take
Conker above the hole and jump again to reach the peak of Poo Mountain. Jump
back down to the Poo Cabin. 

Take your third ball of poo around the mountain and to the edge of the cliff. 
Ignore the "No Pooballs" sign and toss it down, then follow it. Behind the 
walking ball of poo is a plunger. Hit it and jump into the pool, but be sure to
stay out of the center. Swim around the edge and go into the doorway built into
the wall.

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                                  Bats Tower
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This doesn't seem like much of a tower from the start, but it's coming. You'll
just have to tolerate fire, water, and brass first. You can handle that, can't
you? Yep, that's what I thought...

Mrs Catfish
```````````
Upon entering the area, you'll encounter a school (I guess) of blue-blooded
catfish. They'll give you 10% of their cash if you can get rid of the Bullfish
guarding it. They'll even drop a subtle hint ("He's easily wound up,") before
backing off and leaving Conker to do the job. 

Jump into the water and head out. The first waterfall you pass hides some
chocolate and a tail. The rest just conceal solid rock, so you can ignore them.
Go past the waterfalls and into the murky green waters of the Bullfish. Ignore
him for now and dive down into that hole in the bottom of the pool.

Barry's Mate
````````````
Yay, time to torch more bats! Swim forward and up. You should run into an 
opening. Climb out of the water and go into the next room. Run up that little
set of stairs, and you'll be greeted rather rudely by a cigar-smoking cog.
Conker will spin him around to his... er... 'more sensitive' side. After a bit
of banter, you're free to move around again. Unfortunately, those cogs you're
supposed to retrieve are locked beyond the grating you might have noticed as
you surfaced. A wooden platform has appeared near the wall, so hop on and ride 
up. You'll catch a quick view of the bats. Looks like you found the tower 
you were looking for... 

Walk around the wooden platform and hop onto the crossbeam. Halfway across, 
your lightbulb will appear and you'll hear squeaking. Wait a second before you
press B if you want to actually *hit* the bat with your blowtorch. Finish 
crossing the beam. 

At the end is another platform, from which you can see a dangling rope. Hop on
and climb up. You can jump to the next rope if you want to skip the bat-
torching, but who wants to do that? Tiptoe across the beam. Repeat this with 
the next few levels, and eventually you'll reach the top. You'll probably be
hearing the pleas of some unloved cash here. Hop onto the platform and head
to the right around the top of the tower. You should probably just glide over
the lower parts of the wall to avoid any enemies. Grab the cash and hop back
down to the little platform with the lever. It's across from the rope you used
to get up here. The grate will open and Conker will fall onto the cobwebs 
below.

Cogs' Revenge
`````````````
Make your way down the tower and jump back into the water. Go through the open
grate and swim through the tunnel. Go up at the end and you'll find yourself in
a room with a giggling female cog. Smack her with your frying pan and return to
the room with the grumpy/fruity cog. Go up the stairs and put it on the peg for
a lovely bit of oral sex comedy, then go back through the underwater tunnel. 

This time go down the hallway. There are two more cogs hopping around in here,
but they're a bit harder to catch. Just run the opposite direction so you meet
on the other side and hit them with your frying pan. You can only hold one at
once, so you'll have to make two trips here. Take them both back to the cog 
room and put them on the pegs, then head for the platform in the center of the
room. 

Remember the keg with the prune juice? This is sort of similar. Run around in
a clockwise circle to finish off this section by winding in the Bullfish.

The Combination
```````````````
Head back to the beginning of the area and talk to the catfish to get them to
open the safe. They'll back off so you can go in and get their cash for them.
Head into the safe.

Blast Doors
```````````
As you enter, the cash will take a flying leap into the water below. The doors
will close behind it, leaving you to find a way to open them. Step onto the B
pad. Whip out your slingshot and aim for the hole in that spinning wheel. But
wait! Don't just aim for ANY letter. Aim for the combination... O-P-E-N. When
you've hit them all, the doors will spring open, granting you access to the
dark waters below. If you miss too much, one of the metal frog things will 
bounce out to attack you. If you aim right, you can peg him with before he gets
close enough to hurt you.

Jump into the water and climb onto that Context Pad to get yourself a light, 
then dive down into the great unknown.

Clang's Lair
````````````
Conker's not a very fast swimmer, so make sure you take the air when you can 
get it. This area is dotted with air bubbles, so your biggest problem will be
finding your way around this place. Swim straight down, and be sure to duck 
into an alcove should the big metal thing get too close. If you don't, you'll
get bitten. Not pleasant. 

At the end of the hallway, you should see some bright green lights. Take a 
breath at the bottom, then swim into the bottom one. Resurface once you get out
and replace your battery if the urge takes you. Then head for the flashing blue
lights. Watch out for the Clang. 

Head for the surface as soon as you get out. There's a lever here, so grab that
before you dive back down. Go for the green lights. Remember to breathe again,
then dive down and head for the tunnel surrounded by yellow lights. Swim up and
go towards the first air bubble alcove thing you see before continuing. Make 
your way up the pipe, ducking into an alcove should you get too close to the
Clang for comfort. Keep going up until you break the surface, then climb out 
and jump down the hole in front of you. Run down the pipe...

Pisstastic
``````````
After that slightly disturbing show, turn around and head for the keg. Take a
biiiiiiiig drink, then step out into the main room and zip down your fly...

Use Z to take a leak on the nearest demon and keep at it until he turns black.
Repeat with the next demon, and so on and so on and so on. If your bladder runs 
dry, wander over to the first aid box to sober up, then head back to the keg 
for a refill. When you cut them down, the last two demons will scurry into the
boiler-like thing in the middle... Sober up. You'll need to be fast for this.

Brass Monkeys
`````````````
Right. This is fairly easy compared to other things we've been through, so head
for one of the corners. Wait for the boiler to make its way over to the grate-
like thing in front of you, then do a high-jump to grab onto a chain and pull.
While the boiler is swaying harmlessly in the center, run up and whip out some
cinder blocks... 

Hey, that seemed to help things a bit! Let's do it again. And again. And one 
more time just for good measure. When the balls fall off, you'll have to push
them into place. There's a hole for one of them across from the first aid kit.
Push it on to raise the grating that was blocking the door before. Shove the
other one into the open passageway to take out the spiky guy, which in turn
will make a hole in the wall, granting you access to the safe. Grab the cash.
You've earned it.

Bullfish's Revenge
``````````````````
10% of $10 wasn't really what you had in mind when you took on this job, eh?
Conker will hang onto the lot, and Bullfish will start breaking his chain. Hop
back into the water. As you begin to make your way back up the stream, the
Bullfish will snap the final wire. Swim. Swim like you've never swum before.
When it's all over, hop on top of the Bullfish to reach an alcove which holds a 
few hundred bucks. A just reward for your struggles. Head back to Windy and go
straight to Poo Mountain. Step in through the hole at the bottom...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                   Sloprano
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The dung beetle within has a nice story to tell about this place, but as you can 
see, it's really just a big steaming cavern of poo.

Corn Off the Cob
````````````````
Follow the solid path until you hear the voice of God... er... Chucky. He wants
corn. You've got a frying pan. Knock 'em dead, slugger. Take a piece of corn to
the edge of the little platform sticking out over the poo lake for some nice
Jaws action, then move on to the next pit. Watch for falling pooballs. Toss in 
both pieces of corn here, hang a right at the fork, and throw in all three. He
seems to be satisfied now.

Sweet Melody
````````````
Possibly the best part of the game... When the Great Mighty Poo finishes 
singing his first verse, run over to the nearest Context Pad. Dodge the falling 
poo balls and wait for him to start singing again, then press B to whip out 
some toilet paper. Take careful aim, then fling it at him while his mouth is 
open. He'll begin the next verse, but when that's over, repeat the process on a 
different pad. It takes two hits this time. He's getting pretty mad, as the 
lyrics and tempo would suggest. Hit him three times from the final pad to just 
about finish him off. His beautiful singing voice will shatter the glass.

U-Bend Blues
````````````
Run towards the cash by taking the left fork. Grab it and yank the cord above 
to flush down the beast. Go to the pit in the center and start hopping down the
platforms until you reach the exit. You'll get a nice cutscene with Berri, then
it's back to Conker...

OK, we're going swimming. Jump in. These spinning blades are nasty things. 
You're going to have to perfect your timing to get through in one piece. I hope
you're patient. One important thing to remember is that Conker stops swimming 
as soon as you stop pushing the B button. If you release it right before the
fan thing and start moving again just as a blade is passing, you should get
through in one piece. When you do, swim up.

There's an insanely fast blade up ahead, but when you break the surface, you'll
find that it's not related to your little escapades in any way. Go through the 
tunnel at the edge of the water. As you can see, there are annoying little 
blades here, too. Climb up the rope, hop to the side, run to the ladder, and go 
on up. If you're really good, you can go straight from the rope to the ladder.

The Bluff
`````````
At this point, you should have the $1000 required to pay the weasels' toll, so
pay up. Don't worry about losing all that money; Conker will get it back. Cross
the bridge to find yourself surrounded by lava. Don't fall in. And try not to
let the dinosaurs chew on you.

Run around the stone structure and go through the doorway in back. You'll end
up on the second level. Run around again to find another doorway, which takes
you to the top. Snag the cash and hop on top of that head (use the jaw as a 
step). When you see the lightbulb, hit B. Do this three times. Welcome to 
Uga Buga.

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                                   Uga Buga
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Cavemen, lava, dinosaurs, rocks. Welcome to prehistory. Remember, lava means
instant death. Don't fall in!

Drunken Gits
````````````
Hop back onto the statue and pound it one more time to clear a path through the 
stone structure, then jump down again. The blue area beyond is full of Rock
Monsters. Most of them are just hungover, so if you get near them, they'll 
stand up and hit you. Then they'll yack and curl up again. There's one by the
entrance to the bar that's passed out, so you're free to shove him around. 

Get him past the other monsters (you'll probably take a few hits from them) and 
head through the hole in the base of the stone thing. Keep going forward to
shove the rock down the tunnel, creating a prehistoric version of the fate of 
the second brass ball. Go on down. Run down the ramp and head through the door 
to the right of the big dino head.

Sacrifice
`````````
If you wanna make an omelette, you've gotta break some eggs. Speaking of eggs,
isn't that one in the middle of this room? Run up to it and hop on the little
monk guy's tablet to get him to toss you up. Take a seat on the egg to hatch 
it. Aw, Conker's a mommy... Or mummy, for you British chaps.

Lead your dinosaur over to the exit by taking a right onto the path that you 
took to get here. Make sure it follows. If it doesn't, run back and hop around
until you get its attention, then go back again. Don't worry about the cavemen.
They make a tasty snack.

You'll emerge from the door to the left of the dino head. Lead your kid over to
the four worshipping cavemen and step on the Context Pad. Aim to the button on
the left. It has an up arrow on it. Hitting it will raise the slab on the 
platform behind you, revealing a set of dino footprints. Take your dinosaur 
onto the platform and leave him there. 

Jump back down to the B Pad and shoot the button to the right to... Well, I 
won't ruin it for you.

Phlegm
``````
Yuck. The mouth is open, but the tongue is too slimy to walk on. There's 
another guy with a stone tablet here, so hop on to catch a ride to the top of
the head. Run back along the head to snag some cash and a tail, then turn 
around and head to the snout. 

Hm... Those smoking green nostrils seem a bit suspect. Maybe you should 
investigate. When they aren't smoking, hop in and use B to sprinkle some 
pepper. Do this with both nostrils to clear up his sinuses, which in turn 
leaves a clear throat and tongue. Go on up. Watch out for the uvula and walk
down his throat.

Inside, watch for more swinging things. When you reach the fork, pick a 
direction and go. The right way is easier, so take that if you're a slacker. At
the end, dodge the dangling thing and run out into the large open cavern the
egg was in. This time you're on the platform that you probably saw right above
Conker as he was hatching the aforementioned egg. Conker will take the dead 
caveman's headdress. Go back to the cavern with the venerators.

Worship
```````
As Conker steps out of the mouth, the cavemen will rush over to start groveling
at his feet. Lead your followers up the ramp (stay close; we don't want to 
leave anyone behind) and through the tunnel to Rock Solid. 

Hit one of the rockmen and your groupies will take over. When every single 
rockman has crumbled, speak to the bouncer to get him out the way, then head 
in.

Rock Solid
``````````
Run straight forward, and Conker's weight will depress a panel that opens a 
door. Hey, isn't that Berri? Anyway, if you move, the door will shut again. 
You'll have to find another way to get it to stay down. Head down into the
main part of the club and check out the bar. There's a curled up rockman 
behind it. Take him up the ramp and put him on the panel in front of the door.

The door under Berri is held open now, but it only takes you to the dancing 
rockgirls up above. At the end of their catwalk is another panel that closes 
that particular door but opens two more on either side of it, but there aren't
any more curled up rockmen. There is a keg, though... Go take a drink and head
out to the dance floor. 

There's a lone rockman dancing in front of the doorway, so make a straight line
between him, the door, and yourself and let 'er rip. A stream of urine will 
make him curl up and the pressure from it will roll him into the doorway, 
depositing him on the next level. 

Once he's there, turn around and hit the first aid station across from the door
to sober up, then follow him, either by going through the doorway (losing a bit
of chocolate) or by going around and using the arch that forms a doorframe for
the left door as steps to reach the top. Once you reach the ledge... 

Push the rockman up to one of the alcoves and wait for the rock woman to step 
out, shake her thang, and start back in. As soon as she does, shove past. Do 
this with the next one, too. Do NOT let your rockman fall. If you do, you'll
have to start all over, complete with peeing on him. When you reach the end,
shove him onto the panel and hop down. Let's celebrate by getting smashed and
peeing on some more boulders.

No, really. Go get drunk and push two more rockmen into the new open doors. 
They'll fall on top of Berri's cage, and the second one will smash it. Berri
will run off, leaving Conker alone with the cash. Take it and try to leave. The
bouncer will take you to see the boss...

Bomb Run
````````
Watch the cutscene. The weasel will explain your task: Use the bomb to get rid 
of the cavemen. As soon as you get control, start running. You don't have much
time here, so every second counts. Take off towards the cavern with the giant
dino head and go inside. 

Conker can't jump with a bomb, so you'll have to take the left path. Make sure
you don't get him by an uvula; that will set off the bomb, and we aren't ready 
for that just yet. Once you reach the end of the dino innards, run to the end
of the platform, Conker will take over. His mask will fall off, the lava will 
rise, and so ends the local caveman population. Use the floating stone 
platforms as stepping stones to the other side and go out.

Mugged
``````
Will this chapter ever end? As you step out, a bunch of caveman punks will mug
you, moon you, and speed off. Take the path to the right to reach Simon's 
board, and we're off. 

Watch out for the brontosaurus that's wandering around the area and try to 
catch up with the muggers. Each one is holding some of your money. There are
a few tricky spots that require jumping to keep an eye out for, but you'll
probably notice a caveman jumping as you tail him, so let that be your cue.
Also watch out for the walls. Hit one head on and it's instant death; 
sideswipe one and you'll lose some chocolate. 

Once you catch up with and eliminate the first two riders, the path will change
a little bit. Take note of this and remember to turn right when it happens. As
soon as you get the third one, a gate near the beginning will open up. The path
is back to how it was at the start of the race. Go up the ramp to the now open
gate and jump at the top to nab some cash and finish the board-riding sequence.

Raptor Food
```````````
Now, this game came out long before Star Wars: Episode II, but I'm definitely
catching some similarities here. Completed unrelated, but sorta nifty, too. 
Anyway, head over to the cavemen. A door will spring open and a large raptor
will step out... After the extremely graphic death of the first caveman (hey,
his legs are still moving!).

Run for the Context Pad in the center of the arena and wait for Fangy to make 
his way over to you. As soon as he does, press B to whip out your watch and 
hypnotize him. And we're off! Run around and finish off what's left of the
cavemen...

Just when we thought it was all over, Buga will call in the infantry to take
care of the pesky little squirrel. Don't let them hit you if you can avoid it.
If they do, run over to the Context Pad and wait for Fangy to show up, then hit
B to hop on. No more hypnotizing. Either eat them all or push them into the 
lava.

As soon as the guys with clubs are out of the way, a mass of spear-wielding
cavemen will run out. Projectiles are a bit harder to avoid, but do your best.
If you're good, you can knock three cavemen into the lava and get another one
in your mouth with one charge. Get rid of all the cavemen one way or another,
and Buga's girl will say that Conker's gotta bigger bone than Buga...

Buga the Knut
`````````````
Oh my giddy aunt... Buga's big. Really big. But not all over. If he jumps, he 
sends out waves, so be ready to jump should he do so. He also uses his bone to 
deal a hefty crack to your head, so watch out for that, too. As soon as he 
finishes an attack, run in and have Fangy take a bite out of his crotch. While 
he's covering himself up, run around and chomp on his bum. 

Don't worry about catching Fangy if you get knocked off. He wants to live 
through this ordeal just as much as you do, so he'll run over to you when you
fall. Just jump on. Do this three times, and Buga will reveal his secret...

With Buga and Fangy out of the way, it's babe time. Head for the wall through
which Buga made his escape and hop up onto the platform with the open door to
reach Jugga. After the following cutscene, head out the open door to find 
yourself back in the lava cave that led you here. Run along the path and out
the door. Your cash is waiting on the ledge, so grab it, then run down the 
mountain path and jump off at the end. This place looks might familiar...

Climb out of the water and return to the lair of the Great Mighty Poo. Just hop
into the pit in front of you that's conveniently labeled "Exit" to return to 
the safety of the Poo Cabin, then go outside.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                Windy Yet Again
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Windy is such a lovely cheerful place, even with the thriving insect population
constantly at war with you and each other. As you step out of the Poo Cabin, 
you will see the wasps taking the beehive again. Ah well. All in a day's work.

Wasps' Revenge
``````````````
Run on down and have a nice little chat with the Queen Bee. You're getting 
four times as much money this time, but you have to go farther into the nest.
Oh well. $400 is a lot of money. 

Go on up to the wasps' nest and go in through the central hole. The weird thing 
that was guarding it before is gone now. Head to the platform in the center of 
the nest and hop into the hive. As soon as you do, legions of hornets will 
start pouring out of the walls. Fortunately, you're sitting in a turret gun.
Take them out. Use the radar at the top of the screen to your advantage. The 
first three waves will be relatively small, but the fourth one is an all-out
assault. When you're done, Mrs. Bee will show up and tell you to get outta
there. Heed her advice. 

Same old deal as last time. This time, you'll also have to get out of the nest.
Once you do, Mrs. Bee will hop into the hive and take out the rocket launchers.
Chew on this, buzz suckers! With $400 in your grubby little paws, cross the
bridge.

Mr Barrel
`````````
Yay! Our last Windy scenario! We're finally gonna scale that mountain. Go on 
up, but watch out for the earthworm. It's still guarding the area. At the top,
assuming you've collected all the cash up to this point, Mr Barrel will offer 
you a ride in exchange for your hard earned bucks. Now, this wasn't really 
what we had in mind, but hop on anyway. We're going down the mountain. 

Stay close to the wall as you go down so you don't go flying off the edge. When
you reach the bottom of the hill, Conker will fall off and Mr Barrel will keep
going. He'll break apart the boards blocking the passage at the end of the 
screen, but the impact is enough to knock Conker out for a few hours. By the
time he wakes up, it's dark. Oh well. Hop in the water and swim through the
new passageway.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                    Spooky
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The name of this chapter is a pretty good indicator of what you'll find here.
Good enough for me, anyway. I'm too lazy to write a nice description.

Mr Death
````````
As soon as Conker steps into the tunnel, it will cave in. You'll have to find 
another way out. Run along now. Take the left path at the fork and keep going
until you reach a large underground lake. Follow the current through a small
passageway and you'll come out at the top of a waterfall. Jump up to grab a 
lever, which will open a door. You'll fall into the water at the end of the
path you'd have been on had you taken the right fork, so swim along and go back
to the lake.

Run up to the docks and Conker will stop to talk to Gregg, who will give you a
shotgun. Lovely. Go on up the wooden ramp to reach the door you opened a minute 
ago. 

Inside, the zombies will rise out of their graves. They'll mob you if they get 
the chance, so get somewhere out of their range (like a gravestone) and snipe 
them with your shotgun. Remember, a shot to the head kills them, so use your 
laser sight (hold Z while in aiming mode) to choose your target. 

When you've taken care of the initial attackers, follow the path. Be prepared
to hop onto a nearby tombstone should any more undead rise from their graves. 
Kill enough of them, and Gregg will appear. Finish off whatever's mobbing you 
and make a dash for it before the next wave rises. Gregg will open the door,
allowing you to step through into the next section of the graveyard. 

There aren't any zombies here, but the twisted path is guarded by the skeleton
of an earthworm (hey, aren't worms invertebrates?). Like the ones on the 
mountain in Windy, they'll pop out, grab you, and throw you. Just jump over 
them, but be careful. The path is pretty narrow. When you reach the top, step
into the mansion.

Count Batula
````````````
Upon stepping in, the mansion's resident will step down and greet you. Cross
the threshold (hey, vampires can only cross the threshold of a residence once
they've been invited... what does this say about Conker?) and enjoy your meal. 
After the villagers show up, you'll learn your true task. Conker makes such a 
cute bat. Now, let's just hope the villagers aren't carrying torches.

Your job here is to knock a villager out with guano, pick him up, and drop him
into the grinder so your ancestor can feed. Do this enough and his rope will
snap. Marvelous. Go into one of the rooms with villagers and wait for your 
sonar to kick in. When you start seeing waves, press Z to let loose a guano 
bomb. Then swoop down, pick up your villager, and get out of there before his
or her friends knock you down. When it's all over, Conker will turn back into
himself again. Head for the foyer.

Zombies
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The door's locked, the villagers are gone, and the place is chock full o'
zombies. Time to break out the shotgun again. Most of the zombies in here won't
even notice you unless you shoot at them as long as you keep your distance, so
walk slowly and remember to snipe. 

Go through the hallway to the left of the stairs to reach the library. Clear
out the hallway and the library, then go up the stairs inside and hop onto the
middle bookshelf, where you'll find a Context Pad. Hop on to pull out a 
crossbow (which is also conveniently sporting a laser scope) and shoot the bats
that will swoop towards you. When you've gotten all three, go out the door at
the top of the stairs that leads you to the torture chamber. Ah, yes. The 
Grinder is still running. Don't fall in. 

Make your way around the edge of the room. There are two zombies in the next 
one, so stand in the doorway and snipe away, then head for the center of the
room. Another crossbow on this context pad lets you hit those bats on the other
end of the room, then make your way around the beams to reach the key. Pick it
up and creep back along the rafters, down the ramp in the library, and into the
foyer. Pop the key into the doorhole, then start shooting the zombies in the 
hall to the right of the stairs. We're going into the dining room next.

When you reach the dining room, jump onto the table to avoid the zombies, then
head for the garden. The garden is full of all sorts of nasty zombie types, but
the hedges allow for some nice sniper points. Once you've killed all the 
zombies, nab the key from the central area and head back to the door. 

Just one more key left! Go upstairs and head right to reach the grinding room.
Glide over to the ladder and climb up, then hover over to and hit the lever. It 
will open up a secret passage. Go downstairs again, purge the zombies, and use
the passage to get to the key and bring it back down to put into the door.

Mr Barrel
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Yay, we can finally get out of here! Hop on Mr Barrel and take him outside. The
path with the worms? It's twisty. You can handle it, maybe. Take Mr Barrel down
this hill and through the graveyard. Hop off the dock and roll the barrel 
upstream. There's a passage up here that you might not've noticed before, 
'cause Conker couldn't swim up there. Once Mr Barrel drops you off, go into 
said passage and grab the cash waiting there. Hey, back in Hungover... Didn't
think you'd ever be glad to see this place, eh? Let's get back to Windy.