Conker’s Bad Fur Day – Part 2
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~ Conker's Bad Fur Day™ ~
A Savage Journey to the Heart of the Vulgarian Dream
for the Nintendo 64
FAQ/Walkthrough by bananagirl
Final Version: 08/11/02
Disclaimer!
```````````
This guide is ©2001-2002 bananagirl. All information contained within is
protected by copyright law.
This guide, like the game it's written for, is not intended for anyone under
the age of 17. Bah, who am I kidding? Regardless, unless you're into potty
humor and stuff like that, stay away from the game and this guide. Just a
friendly warning.
===============================================================================
.:*~*:. { Table of Contents } .:*~*:.
===============================================================================
1. Introduction
2. Preliminary FAQ
o Guide Questions
o Game Questions
3. General Information
o Story
o Characters
} Conker
} Berri
} Birdy
} The Fabled Panther King
} The Beast of Poo Mountain
} The Evil Tediz
} The Grim Reaper (A.K.A. Gregg)
} Franky the Pitchfork
o Getting Started
o Basics
} Saved Game Slots
} Options
} Chapters
} Context Zones
} Cash
} Dying
} Living
} Breathing
o Controls
o Special Moves
} Climbing
} Swimming
} Jumping
} Crawling
o Weapons & Vehicles
} Bouncin' Pitchforks
} Jet Board
} Raptor Riding
} Turret Gun
} Shot Gun
} Batula
} Machine Gun
} The Tank
4. Walkthrough
o Hungover
} Scaredy Birdy
} Panhandled
} Gargoyle
o Windy
} Mrs Bee
o Barn Boys
} Marvin
} Mad Pitchfork
} Sunny Days
} Barry + Co
} Buff You
} Haybot Wars
} Frying Tonight
} Slam Dunk
o Windy Again
} Poo Cabin
} Pruned
} Yee Haa!
} Sewage Sucks
} Great Balls of Poo
o Bats Tower
} Mrs Catfish
} Barry's Mate
} Cogs' Revenge
} The Combination
} Blast Doors
} Clang's Lair
} Pisstastic
} Brass Monkeys
} Bullfish's Revenge
o Sloprano
} Corn Off the Cob
} Sweet Melody
} U-Bend Blues
} The Bluff
o Uga Buga
} Drunken Gits
} Sacrifice
} Phlegm
} Worship
} Rock Solid
} Bomb Run
} Mugged
} Raptor Food
} Buga the Knut
o Windy Yet Again
} Wasps' Revenge
} Mr Barrel
o Spooky
} Mr Death
} Count Batula
} Zombies
} Mr Barrel
o It's War
} It's War
} Power's Off
} TNT
} The Assault
} Sole Survivor
} Casualty Dept.
} Saving Private Rodent
} Chemical Warfare
} The Tower
} Little Girl
} The Experiment
} Countdown
} Peace At Last!
o Heist
} The Windmill's Dead
} Enter the Vertex
} The Vault
} End Cutscene
5. Codes
6. FAQ
7. Revision History
8. Copyright & Contact Info
9. Credits/Thanks
===============================================================================
.:*~*:. { 1. Introduction } .:*~*:.
===============================================================================
Hiya, and welcome to my Conker's BFD guide. As I write this, I'm working on
version 4.0. By the standard numbering system, it should really be something
more like 2.0, but the standard numbering system doesn't matter here. Anyway,
version 3.0 first saw the light of the internet just over a year ago, and the
guide hasn't been updated since that fateful day.
I was given the opportunity to pass my guide along to somebody else, but the
game's so much fun that I decided not to. Sorry. You're stuck with me. That
probably means I'll toss in a chapter or two now, then you won't see another
update for a year. But there are plenty of other complete guides all over the
internet, so fear not. All is not lost.
Also, sorry about the Table of Contents being so freakishly long. It wasn't
really intentional; it just happened. I'll probably trim it down at some point
in the near future, but that's a relative term. Don't get your hopes up.
Moving on... Enjoy the guide. It'll be hard, but I have great confidence in
your abilities. If you see something wrong, be it typo, factual error, or
something else entirely, feel free to let me know via email. But if you want
to point out things like 'lotsa' and 'wanna' and stuff like that, bugger off.
Someone once emailed me saying lotsa was two words (lot's [sic] and of). After
having a little chuckle at the grammatical error in his correction, I deleted
it. I know lotsa is two words (lots and of). I'm not quite as stupid as you
like to think. Oh, and sorry about the giant table of contents. I'll cut it
down somewhat at some point in the near future.
- Bananagirl
===============================================================================
.:*~*:. { 2. Preliminary FAQ } .:*~*:.
===============================================================================
Guide Questions
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Can I use this FAQ on my site?
`````````````````````````````````
Sure. Let me know if you do, though. Just email me and
say something along the lines of, "Hey, I'm using your Conker FAQ on my site,
[insert address here]. Just letting you know. Bye." Also, make sure you credit
me wherever you put it. Otherwise, people might think you did it, and we
wouldn't want that, would we?
Q. Can I send something to help you out?
````````````````````````````````````````
I used to be pretty mean about stuff like this, but if you want to send me
something, I'm open for it now. Just don't send me any partial walkthroughs and
expect me to put them in here word-for-word. I'll be checking to make sure
anything you send me is factual information before I slap it in here, so
whatever ends up here will come from that experience. I'll credit you, though.
Look for your name and email address at the top of whatever you submit, and
also in the Credits/Thanks section.
Q. Where/How can I find/do _____?
`````````````````````````````````
Well, if I know, it's in here. If I don't, you'll have to look elsewhere. Try
checking somebody else's guide at http://www.gamefaqs.com. I've always had a
high opinion of the work of CyricZ and Dallas, so you should check their
guides first.
Q. Can I republish some of the information you've got here?
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Drop me an email about this one. Tell me which information, where you're
putting it, and why you want to do it. If I decide to let you do it, give
me full credit.
Q. Where the heck did you put _____?
````````````````````````````````````
If it's in here, you can probably find it by using the Find tool (Ctrl+F for
Windows; no idea what it is for Macs). Just type in a simple phrase, such as
'Pruned' or 'dung beetle' and do the whole find/find next thing until you find
something relevant.
Q. How much for the blonde with the whip?
`````````````````````````````````````````
$100 an hour, in advance. No freebies. Not even for your birthday. Believe me,
she's worth every penny of it...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Game Questions
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Why does Conker's BFD have an ESRB rating of M?
``````````````````````````````````````````````````
Lotsa reasons. Profanity, sex jokes, blood, gore... The list goes on. Let's
just say it's not something you want to show to a six year old. I'm not quite
sure I agree with the whole thing about having to be 17 in order to purchase
it, but I suppose some parents just don't want their kids to be exposed to this
sort of thing. And yet they still send these kids to public school...
Q. But it's a cute little squirrel!
```````````````````````````````````
It's immature potty humor. Y'know all those lame movies like 'Freddy Got
Fingered' and 'American Pie' that your parents probably wouldn't like? It's
like those, only not as stupid. I'm not saying that's necessarily a bad thing,
but it's still some strong stuff. Do you really want your innocent first-grader
to know about fellatio at such a tender age?
Q. What happened to Twelve Tails? That looked cute!
```````````````````````````````````````````````````
Change of plot. Potty humor is more fun than another Banjo-Kazooie clone,
anyway. And we all know that that's the way it would turn out...
Q. So what's BFD stand for?
```````````````````````````
Aside from Big Fur Day? Big Fucking Deal. Thanks to AstroBlue for pointing that
out.
===============================================================================
.:*~*:. { 3. General Information } .:*~*:.
===============================================================================
Story
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Conker had mentally left the conversation. His mind wandered to thoughts of
his girlfriend Berri and why she had such a problem with him having fun
without her. As he sat contemplating giving her a call, he moved uncomfortably
in his chair. His bladder ache had now reached the point where it couldn't be
ignored.
"Conker!" Came the cry from the group seated around the table, making Conker
jump. "It's your turn."
"Okay, okay. But first I've got to call Berri to let her know I'll be late."
He stood unsteadily, then just before staggering off, decided that maybe the
toilet was a more pressing issue.
The evening wore on, and the beer kept flowing. One round became another, and
then another, until Conker reached that awful moment of realization:
"Guys, guys. I think I've had too much." He paused for a moment, nearly
retching then and there. "I gotta go..."
At the next table a couple of pretty little chipmunks sniggered and whispered
something to each other as Conker tottered slightly, then nearly lost his
balance completely.
"I don't think he can hold his drink," he overhead the nearest one say.
"No, indeed," her sly-looking friend replied.
Conker toyed with the idea of vomiting on the both of them but decided that
perhaps it wasn't such a good idea with their boyfriends sitting opposite.
For some reason, they were dressed in combat fatigues and engaged in a most
heated debate...
"The war! The evil Teddy Bears have overrun the Grey Squirrels' homeland! We
signed up this morning, and you should do the same, Mr. Red Squirrel." At
this point, several grey squirrels around the alehouse leveled accusing
accusing gazes at Conker. "If you have any sense of decency and honor, that
is."
"I think you just hit the nail on the head," Conker replied as he attempted
to stand once more. "I'm definitely going now. Good-bye!"
On the way out, two of his old school chums grabbed him by the arm, shouting,
"One more for the road, Conker?" And before he knew it...
"Slammers? Oh no, not slammers!" They were lined up in frong of him--eight in
total. Oh well, tomorrow was another day...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Characters
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Conker
``````
A feisty little red squirrel with some snazzy shoes, Conker is your main
character hereabouts. He likes to pee on things. Unfortunately, there are no
snow levels in the game. If there were, though, his bladder certainly holds
enough to write your name.
Berri
`````
Conker's grey squirrel girlfriend reminds me of Jessica Rabbit from Roger
Rabbit. Anyone else? No? Oh well. She exercises a lot. She wears pink. 'Nuff
said for now. No need to reveal any more of the plot line.
Birdy
`````
Beardy's a great guy. He has a nice sign that says "Feck Off Birds" and he
likes to drink. Can't beat it, eh? He pops up every now and then to tell you
what to do. He might charge a small fee every now and then, but you'll get it
back...
The Fabled Panther King
```````````````````````
Hm... It's a big spooky panther guy that rules over the land. He's a nice
widdle kitty, but his desire to drink milk without it spilling everywhere
leads him to do mean things, like antagonize Conker and terrorize the weasel
population.
The Beast of Poo Mountain
`````````````````````````
The Beast is a giant, corn-eating Poo Monster. Ignore the Dogma method of
dealing with these things; the only thing that will stop him is toilet paper.
Fortunately, Conker just so happens to have an unlimited supply of the stuff.
The Evil Tediz
``````````````
Eek! Killer teddy bears! Run for your life! These guys are the henchmen of
the Evil Panther King's top scientist. They're out to get you. These are fun
to kill, because instead of the usual blood that spills everywhere, they lose
stuffing.
The Grim Reaper (A.K.A. Gregg)
``````````````````````````````
Someone's not important enough for the manual, apparently... Gregg tells you
about Tails and stuff. There's really not much to say about him, so just laugh
at him. You'll only see him a few times in the game. You mostly just get the
occasional glimpse of his bony little hand when you kick the bucket.
Franky the Pitchfork
````````````````````
Another one of those neglected fellows. Franky's a living, hopping pitchfork.
If Conker jumps on him, he can bounce around, too. This gets to be very useful
during certain stages in the game.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Getting Started
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Right. I shouldn't have to do this, but there are probably a few people out
there that haven't a clue what they're doing. So here goes.
The first thing you'll need to do is set up your TV. That shouldn't be too
hard, right? Riiiiiight. So set up your TV according to your instruction
manual, take the fork out of your electrical socket (if there isn't one in
there, don't worry--that's perfectly alright), and plug it in.
Now, set up your Nintendo 64, if you haven't already. Use the instruction
manual included with your system to do this. It's basically just plugging
things into the hole with the same shape and/or color. When that's done, take
the cartridge out of it's box. You can handle that, I think. When you've done
that, insert said cartridge, open side down and picture side forward, into
the Nintendo 64 cartridge slot. Yeah, that's the thing that's covered by grey
flaps.
Now, make sure your controller is plugged in, and your Rumble Pak, or cheap
third party Rumble Pak wannabe, is popped into the back, with whatever
batteries it requires. You don't really need one of these, but it adds a nice
touch to the game. When your controller is ready, set it down somewhere, or
hold it. Either way, make sure the Control Stick (it's the round thing on a
stick in the middle that moves when you push on it) isn't tilted at all. If
your controller is 5 years old, like mine, and has taken a heavy beating from
Diddy Kong Racing or other such games, like mine, you might have to hold it
in place, as such controllers have a tendency to lean independently.
When that's taken care of, slowly reach over, and push the Power button
(that's the one on the left) on your Nintendo 64 into the "on" position. Now,
you're ready to play.
When the Title Screen shows up (it says "Conker's Bad Fur Day" on it in big
letters, and it has a snazzy cool image, and it tells you to press Start. It's
not hard to identify), after you've watched the little intro thing, or maybe if
you pressed Start during it, press the Start button. That would be the little
round red button in the middle of your controller (above the Control Stick).
Before you can actually play, you'll need to make a file to save your game in,
so let's move on to the basics of that.
Choose one of the three files available, and press the A button. It's blue. It
has the letter 'A' on it. Voila. Now you're playing. Congratulations.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Basics
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Saved Game Slots
````````````````
Nobody says it better than Rare, but I'll give it a shot. Basically, when you
start a new game with one of the available slots, you can continue at the spot
you left off at next time you want to play.
Options
```````
Sound: Use Mono if you have a mono TV, Stereo if you have a stereo TV, and Dolby
if you have it. Simple as that. I use stereo. Anyone out there know anything
about Dolby? I don't.
Cheats: Input one of the codes, or a nasty word, or something else entirely. A
correct code will get you the approval of the Fire Dragon, an incorrect one
a shake of the head. I'll leave it up to you to find out what he does if you
say something that made your mother feed you Ivory soap.
Chapters
````````
Once you do something, you can redo it over and over again in the chapters
section. Which means you don't have to start new games every time you wanna
replay a level. Very convenient.
Context Zones
`````````````
Standing on one of those newfangled platform things embossed with a giant B
will net Conker some new abilities. Temporarily, anyway. If you stand on an
active pad, a lightbulb will pop up over Conker's head and you'll hear a ting!
sound. This also happens sometimes when he's not on a pad. It all depends on
the situation, really. If you press B upon hearing the ting! or seeing the
lightbulb, Conker will pull something out or be able to do something new. The
first time you stand on a certain kind of pad, you'll be given instructions
from a manual Birdy sells. The rest of the time, you're on your own. You can
always review the manual by pressing L and B together, though.
Cash
````
Throughout the game, Conker will pick up bundles of money. Sometimes it's used
to pay off somebody, but Conker almost always gets it back fairly soon. There's
not really very much to do with it, other than bribery and the occasional
prostitute. Well, maybe just bribery...
Dying
`````
It's relatively easy to die in Conker's BFD. If you run out of chocolate or
air, or fall from somewhere really high off the ground, you're pushing up
daisies. The first time Conker dies, you'll be taken to see Gregg. He'll
explain the tail thing. But if you're out of tails and you die, it's Game Over
for Conker. No big deal. Just go back to your saved game. You'll start right
where you left off.
Living
``````
Getting hit will cause Conker to lose a bar of chocolate. You've got six of
'em. If you want to stay alive, you'll want to replenish your health somehow.
There are pieces of Anti-Gravity Chocolate floating all over the world. Go
pick one up, and you'll keep breathing.
Breathing
`````````
For the first few areas of the game, Conker will be using water wings when he
swims. Eventually, he'll be able to take some Confidence Pills and he'll ditch
the wings. Now that nothing's holding him above the water, you can make him
dive by pressing the B button. While underwater, a picture of Conker's face
acts as an air gauge. When he runs out of air, no more Conker.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Controls
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
L Button...............Skip cut scene
R Button..................Look Around
Start Button......Bring up Pause Menu
D-Pad......................No funtion
Control Stick..............Move/Crawl
C-Left..................Rotate Camera
C-Right.................Rotate Camera
C-Up...............Change Camera Zoom
C-Down.................Realign Camera
B Button.......................Attack
A Button.........................Jump
Z Button.................Crouch/Crawl
- Skip cut scene only works after you've viewed a scene once.
- Look Around to see your surroundings.
- The Pause Menu lets you quit if you want to
- No function does nothing. Strange, eh?
- Moving involves running, walking, or tiptoeing, dependend upon the pressure
placed on the Control Stick
- Rotate Camera pretty much moves the camera back and forth.
- Change Camera Zoom moves the camera closer or farther away from Conker
- Realign Camera puts the camera behind Conker's head. Hold it to keep it
there.
- Attack uses Conker's frying pan or whatever.
- Jumping heights vary with combinations of buttons and stuff. Crouch first to
do a high jump.
- Crouching prepares for a high jump; crawling (Z and Control stick) is a way
to creep along slowly and silently and stuff. It also gives you a chance to
get in touch with your inner child.
- You can pick things up by running over them. This changes Conker's attack to
whatever his current weapon happens to support. If it's not a weapon, he'll
throw it instead.
- When he's carrying something, Conker can't jump. He's just not strong enough
to handle that sort of thing. He'll also move a bit slower as a result of the
whole weight issue.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Special Moves
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Climbing
````````
You're a squirrel. Squirrels climb trees. They do this by jumping onto them and
going up or down. Same general concept here, except with ropes and ladders.
Swimming
````````
I'm not sure swimming is the most popular sport in the drunken rodent
subculture, but some things just can't be avoided. When in water, Conker will
paddle around. You can move him with the control stick. Pressing B will cause
him to dive. While underwater, hold B and he'll move. Up on the control stick
makes Conker go down and down makes him go up. Steering remains constant.
Staying underwater too long makes Conker turn funny colors, so try to avoid it.
Jumping
```````
Your basic jump is performed with the A button, but you can press A again to do
a Helicoptery Tail Thing. It makes him hover a little bit, which is always
useful when crossing gaps and other such things. You can also perform a
higher jump by pressing Z then A.
Crawling
````````
Just like in every other N64 platform game ever made, you can crawl by holding
Z and moving the control stick. It's slow, but I guess that has its advantages
at times.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Weapons & Vehicles
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bouncin' Pitchforks
```````````````````
If you hop on Franky, he'll bounce around. While aboard, press A to jump and B
to perform a stabbing attack of sorts. Use the control stick to move Franky
around. He moves pretty much the same as Conker.
Bull Riding
```````````
While on the bull, use the control stick to steer. B charges, A hops on and
off. You'll have to hold the bull still somehow before you can get on. Don't
miss your target when you charge, or you'll get tossed.
Jet Board
`````````
Surf the lava, d00d!11! A to jump, B to hit your opponents with a frying pan.
Control stick for steering, as usual.
Raptor Riding
`````````````
Straddle the vicious beast and use the control stick to make Fangy move. A
makes him jump, B makes him bite or headbutt. If he has someone in his mouth, B
makes him swallow. Z for a headbutt.
Turret Gun
``````````
Eat lead, mutha-buzzer! Control stick moves the control stick. A button gets in
and out. B reloads. C buttons zoom. Z button fires the gun.
Shot Gun
````````
We's goin' zombie huntin'. B takes the gun out or puts it away. C strafes or
makes Conker step forward or back. R enters aiming mode. Z fires, or if held in
aiming mode, pops out a laser sight. The gun is fired when Z is released.
Batula
``````
As a bat, use the control stick to move around. Up dives, down rises. Speed
changes with these. A makes you move backwards, or makes you take off when on
the ground, as does B, which makes you move forwards in the air. Z makes you
poop.
Machine Gun
```````````
Like the Shot Gun, but also with A to reload. And it fires repeatedly instead
of just one blast. And there's no laser sight.
The Tank
````````
Control stick turns the tank left or right or moves it forward or backwards. A
gets you out of it. C buttons rotate the turret or zoom the camera while in
aiming mode, which is R again. Z fires.
===============================================================================
.:*~*:. { 4. Walkthrough } .:*~*:.
===============================================================================
The game opens on Conker, sitting on a throne. A Clockwork Orange comes to
mind... at least it did for CyricZ. Having never had anything to do with A
Clockwork Orange, book or movie, I'll just take his word for it and hope he's
right.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hungover
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your tutorial area... Why does Rare put these in every game? I dunno about
you, but I prefer the Super Mario approach to it, in which you have all your
moves at the beginning. Oh well. If it helps you learn the basics, so be it.
Scaredy Birdy
`````````````
When you gain control of Conker, the first thing you'll want to do is take a
trip around the fence and into the enclosure. So, stumble on over to the other
side of the fence and into the enclosure. There, you'll meet Birdy. After
talking to him, stand on the circular thing with a B on it and he'll talk to
you again. Do as he says and press B.
That doesn't do diddlysquat for you, so head back out (he opens a shortcut for
you, which cuts off about 5 minutes of travel time) and try that on the Context
Zone out there to get rid of that hangover.
Pan Handled
```````````
When that's all done and over with, swim across the river and onto the green
island-like thingy right before the waterfall. Don't worry about falling off.
If you do, there's a tunnel at the end that takes you right back up to the
top.
Once you're on the island, move around a bit, and Conker will remember a few
moves. Namely, the Helicoptery Tail Thingy and the High Jump. Now you can take
your fuzzy tail up that ramp-type thing or whatever (use the Helicoptery Tail
Thingy to cross the gaps), and when you get to the top, you'll find a bigass
gargoyle sitting in the middle of the bridge that leads to your path home.
Well, that could present a problem. Especially if you get too close.
So back off a bit, turn around, and look to the right. See that switch thing?
Jump to it. You might have to do a high jump. Conker will grab it and pull it.
A door will open down below. Jump back down the ramp-type thing, and go into
that open door.
The door will slam and lock behind you, so run around a little bit, and Conker
will suddenly remember that he was a frying pan warrior. Well, I suppose it's
better than a cupcake... Anyway, chase after that key, and whack it to knock
it out. Go walk on top of the silly thing to grab it, and head over to the door
to get out.
Gargoyle
````````
I don't know why Conker couldn't just remember the frying pan when he had to
whack the gargoyle, but I guess he's just gotta deal with certain things
first. Certain things like the dancing keys. Anyway, as you've probably
guessed, you've gotta walk up to the big guy and smack him upside the head with
your pan.
After a nice big splash, it's bye-bye gargoyle, hello giant boulder blocking
your path. Grr. You just can't seem to win here. The boulder's a bit easier to
get rid of than the gargoyle, so just do a High Jump/Helicoptery Tail Thing
onto it, and a Helicoptery Tail Thingy over to the right onto the platform.
The obvious solution here is to hit the B Button, as it's a B Button Pad. Use
the obvious solution. It's usually the best one, in cases such as this. Boom.
Path cleared. Go on in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Windy
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Windy introduces you to life, death, and the birds and the bees. Well, the
bees, at least. Whee.
Mrs Bee
```````
Go down the path, collecting chocolate. When you've got a full life bar
(careful--don't fall!), take a right at the sign (Nice), and you'll run into
a weeping female bee. Conker will talk to her, and she'll tell him about her
problem. Those damn dirty wasps took her hive. Alright, easily remedied.
Go back to the sign and take the path to Nasty. Go up the hill, avoiding the
barbed wire fence (you don't even need to go anywhere near it) and the honey
or whatever on the other side of the path from the aforementioned fence.
At the top of the hill, you'll find the Wasps' nest. You're not here to fight
them, or explore the nest, so just grab the hive, which is sitting outside in
plain sight, and beat it on back to the Queen.
Run down the hill, around the honey patch, and down the path to Nice. Stay on
the path. Do not fall in the water. Do not crash into the wall. Do not pass Go.
Wasps hurt. If you do lose the give, go back up to the hill and into the
center, ignoring the circling wasps. Then take off with the hive again.
When you reach the bee, Conker will chuck the hive back onto its stand, showing
remarkable aim. The Queen will go inside and break out the machine guns,
decimate the wasps, and reward Conker. Eat lead, mother buzzers. You're up $100
now. Well on your way to being a millionaire.
You'll see a few dung beetles conversing amongst themselves, then it's up the
hill for you. Stand on the Context Zone, and Birdy will show up. Context
Zone. Ten dolla. Urry up and buyee! Birdy will sell you a manual for $10,
then hop off. The money will escape and return to Conker, so you just got a
free manual.
Now, time to shoot down these dung beetles. Using whatever knowledge of
trajectories and gravity you might have, aim that slingshot for all you're
worth. It takes two shots to knock out a dung beetle. After the first hit, the
beetle's out for blood, and it's a moving target. Just sling off another shot
right away, and it won't have time to move out of the line of fire.
When you've taken out all four of 'em, head on up to the top of the hill.
You'll encounter a fork in the road. The left path smells a bit pooey. You can
go that way, but at this point, I wouldn't recommend it. Take the right path.
instead.
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Barn Boys
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Murky waters, barnyards, and dancin' pitchforks. It looks to be a fairly small
area, but within the barn lurks an evil greater than anything you've
encountered yet.
Marvin
``````
Trudge on in and cross the river. Check out the right side of the level to
find a few hunks of metal and a gaseous mouse. If you're a sick bastard, you
can make Conker puke by putting him in front of the mouse when it burps. Other
than that, just go stand in front of the big metal blocks to initiate a
conversation.
As it turns out, the mouse is scaring the shiznicks outta the bigger of the
two blocks, so it's your task to get rid of Marvin so you can get that fat-ass
bitch offa Jack's back. So go left from the entrance. Take the upper path, and
you'll find s'more big metal things. Wait until they're facing you, then run
right up against them (while they're on the ground) and press forward on your
control stick, so that you're running forward as soon as they jump. If done
properly, Conker won't get squashed. Contrary to popular belief, that is a good
thing.
When you've successfully evaded the second metal thingy, you'll see a herd of
cheese. You can jump in and knock a few out with your frying pan, but you
can't jump while carrying anything, and you'll need to pick up some cheese
before you leave this god-forsaken corral, so stand in front of the metal
thing that's sitting outside the pen before going in. It's Burt, of course.
He'll open the gate for you so you can get out once you've got your mitts on
a piece of cheese.
See those blocks behind the enclosure? The nice little layers of stone and
stuff? Hop onto the smallest one, and from there onto the one beside it. Do a
high jump and hover over the shorter one. A lightbulb will show up. Hit B.
Look around. Getting that tail will net 10 extra lives for you.
Moving on, go into the pen and stalk your mighty prey, kick its ass with your
frying pan, and tote it back to the mouse. Make sure you don't get hit by a
metal block (they squash the cheese), and when you reach the mouse, Conker
will throw the cheese to him. Lather. Rinse. Repeat twice.
When you've given the mouse 3 hunks of cheese, he'll explode. A pretty nasty
sight. But at least you solved Jack's problem...
Mad Pitchfork
`````````````
Hop up onto Jack's back, and from there onto the 'fat-ass bitch.' Do a High
Jump onto the pipe on the wall of the barn, then another one onto the other
pipe, and do a Helicoptery Tail Thing onto the roof. Run up the roof and jump
onto the thingy on top of it. Hit the switch. A door will open up. Run across
and grab that cash. If you took the pooey path earlier, Conker will take out
his watch and note that it's 10 o' clock. If you didn't, nada. But that
doesn't matter now. You're in the middle of a whole other world right now.
Jump off the barn, aiming for the wooden platform that you can see if you
stand near the edge and look around. If you miss the platform, you'll either be
back on the ground with Jack, or you'll be a little puddle of blood, heart, and
eyeball. If not, go down the wooden ramp to the left (if you're facing away
from the barn), around the pathway, and through the open door.
As Conker steps in, all the bouncing haystacks will turn around and look at
him. After a quick little conversation with them, you'll get to see another
nice little chat session between a paint pot, a paint brush, and a pitchfork.
Then it's back to controlling Conker.
Head over to the right side of the barn and up the stairs. If you walk over to
Franky and friends, you'll be treated to a conversation that reminds me
very strongly of my neighbors. When it's over, Franky will start chasing you.
Run over to the bouncing haystacks, and when Franky attacks, stand behind one
of them. This will cause him to spear the haystack instead of you, sending hay
everywhere and keeping Conker in one piece. The eyeballs from the hay will end
up on the ground. You can squish them, or you can just leave them there. If you
do (leave them there, that is), they'll watch you.
When all the haystacks have been demolished, Franky will go back to his buddies,
who will diss his ass-kicking, and cause him to commit suicide. Or at least try
to. But he has no neck, so I guess that won't really work. Go back to the
entrance, which is still locked, and pull the lever on the wall across from it.
The King Bee will fall out the window, and the door will mysteriously lose its
bar. Go back outside.
Sunny Days
``````````
As soon as you step out, the King Bee will try to bum some cash offa Conker.
Conker won't give a rat's ass until he mentions the 'big-breasted babe.' Then
it's off to help him pollinate her...
Head on over to the flower (cross the platform and go down the ramp along the
wall), and talk to her. Then get your big, long, hairy tail back up to the
wooden platform by the barn. When you get there, you'll be swarmed by a mob
of bees. Fortunately for Conker, they're pacifists. All they do is tickle
people. Hm... Go back to the sunflower with bees in tow. They'll start tickling
her. But they're not enough. You'll have to find the other 4 swarms.
Go to the entrance of the level and jump around a bit. When you get that
swarm, go back to the cheese enclosure area and hop around the blocks.
There's a swarm along the back wall. Now head over to Jack and his bitch and
hop up onto the roof. Get the swarm there, then climb onto the roof beside
it, do a high jump to reach the peak, and climb up the ladder. Make your way
around the edge of the pool (don't fall in--if you do, you'll lose your bees)
and grab the swarm there, then head back down. Actually, you can get these in
whatever order you choose, but this one takes you around the level in what I
think is the easiest and fastest way.
Take your swarms back to the sunflower, and enjoy the show. When that's over,
take her up on the offer of a bounce and hop on her stigmas. You'll need a
High Jump to get there. Just before you hit 'em, press A, and squirrel boy
will be bounced higher, leaving you free to do a Helicoptery Tail Thing into
that alcove, netting you some easy cash.
Barry + Co
``````````
Go back to the wooden platform by the barn and wait for the bouncing crate to
stop. High Jump onto it, and from there onto the platform that the King Bee
fell from. Go into the barn.
After the bats notice you, you'll have to make your way across the beams,
avoiding attacking bats. You can do the Helicoptery Tail Thing, or you can
walk. It's more fun to walk, but it's easier to hover. Your call.
If you walk, a lightbulb will show up. When the bat squeaks, hit B, and
Conker will whip out a flamethrower and torch the sucka. If you hover, you'll
see the lightbulb, but there's not much you can do about it if you're hanging
in mid-air.
If you fall, you'll have to go through the entire thing again. Of course, you
could always take the fun AND easy way out and crisp the bats, then jump. Or
you could just throw knives at 'em when you've gotten the entire way across.
Again, your call.
Anyway, when you've successfully navigated the bat-ridden rafters, you'll end
up on a Context Zone. Hit B to whip out some throwing knives. If you didn't
turn them into crispy fritters, you can use the bats for target practice, but
your main goal here is to shoot down Franky, so aim for the rope above his
head. Eyeballs on a stick. Whatever.
Buff You
````````
When you've got him down, it's time to get down yourself. Jump off. After a
short conversation, hop on board the farm utensil for some good ol' fashioned
pitchfork ridin'. Redneck sport, that. My neighbors do it.
Bounce on over to the big haystack guy and try to charge him. If he smacks
you, get the chocolate outta the corners before remounting your not-quite-noble
steed. When you've charged him twice, he'll whip out an evil-looking eye. Eek.
Terminator! Get him again, and he'll crash through the floor, bringing you
down with him.
Haybot Wars
```````````
After a quick chat with Franky, Conker will duck to avoid a Suzie 9mm. Since
he hurt his leg from the fall, Conker will be a bit slow on the ground, so
hop on board your trusty pal Franky.
Haybot attacks with those Suzie 9mm missiles and his iron fists. Run over to
the edge of the room and hide behind one of the big pipes, and metal boy will
shoot it with a Suzie, causing water to squirt out. This ends the missile
shooting for a bit, so hop out and stand in the water stream to lure old
Sparky over to it.
When he's hit with the water, Haybot will start sparking and spinning. Bounce
over to him. See that button that says "Do Not Push" on his back? When you're
close to it, the lightbulb will show up. Press B. Zap. There goes his arm.
Now he throws you to attack instead of hitting you. Yowch.
Do that with the other 2 pipes, and he'll blow the other arm (now he steps on
you), then boom. He's gone. With Haybot out of the way, Franky's lying in
pieces, although Conker's leg seems to be better...
Frying Tonight
``````````````
Now you have more important matters to take care of, such as getting the hell
outta there before the water reaches those sparking wires and fries up some
squirrel. Strap on your water wings.
Swim your way over to the pipe with Exit signs on either side of it and climb
the ladder. At the top, there's a Context Zone, and when you hit B, Conker
will whip out his knives again.
Conker will have to use the knives to cut down the hanging wires. There are
three here. The first two are easy to see; the third is partially submerged
and harder to see. Hit them (aim for the part where they're attached to the
pipe) before the next pipe starts spurting water, or Conker will be zapped. A
lot.
When those three are gone, swim across the room and climb up the ladder. High
Jump onto the platform and you'll have 3 more wires to take out, one each on
your left and right, and another one in the center of the room. When those
are gone, another pipe will burst and you'll be carried by the rising water
to the top of the room.
Swim across the room and jump onto the platform, and leave. Once out, you'll
end up in a room with a little rodent guy with a stone tablet. Stand on his
tablet, and he'll launch you up into the rafters. Use your Helicoptery Tail
Thing to fly over to the alcove, snatch the money, and High Jump out the
window.
Slam Dunk
`````````
Head to the right and climb the ladder. Avoiding the wasps, make your way to
the top. When you reach a wasp, stop and wait for it to pass a ladder, then
scurry up the rungs while it finishes its pass and turns around.
At the top, you'll find a diving board-type thing and a few pieces of
chocolate. Jump towards the chocolate in mid-air, and the lightbulb will show
up. Hit B. Conker will turn into an anvil and crash down into the bottom of
the bucket, opening a grating. Whee. Climb out.
Make your way down to the ground, and go into the water. If you swim towards
the sunflower, you'll see the open grating. Go in, and you can grab a Tail
and some cash. Very nice. Time to head back out to Windy.
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