The Phantom Menace is a sleepwalk of a game that literally does
zilch to distinguish itself from the recent glut of action/adventure games polluting
the market. It is a bottom-feeder that will sell millions of copies based on the
Star Wars license. It will inspire insipid platitudes from major magazine
reviewers (i.e., Entertainment Weekly, People) who have never before played
a computer adventure game and from newbie gamers who are not cognizant of the
richness of the past library of LucasArts adventure classics. The Phantom Menace
is not a bad game; it is, in fact, very well-done. Why, then, the disappointment
on my part? Because LucasArts had a golden opportunity to make a major impact
on the future viability of the adventure genre in general and the action/adventure
genre in particular and all they did was regurgitate the movie’s key action sequences
knowing they were already guaranteed blockbuster sales. Why deviate from the norm
when success beckons? Why indeed.

If the definition of adventure is to be
reinvented as pull that lever, push that stone, tote that barge, then The Phantom
Menace is adventure at its finest. If LucasArts truly believes that the inclusion
of one maze after another–11 chapters’ worth in all–constitutes adventure, then
this is the pinnacle of adventure gaming. As for me, I would rather endure the
most putrid, nonsensical Myst clone in existence than play one more action
game that purposely, erroneously claims to contain adventure elements. Endless
combat and action puzzles that consist of deciding where to push a box or whether
to use your weapon or the Force to dispose of a foe are only a step above solving
the puzzles in a Putt Putt or Freddi Fish game from Humongous. In
fact, the problems in a Putt Putt game are an intellectual challenge compared
to the mundane, uninspired goals of The Phantom Menace. How will I reach
Jar Jar on that high ledge? Why, by tracing and retracing my route until I find
multiple ascending levels as I nimbly jump from ledge to ledge. And if I suffer
one misstep, I will, of course, have to repeat the entire process, thus turning
a five-minute solution into a one-hour exercise in frustration. How far should
I swim downstream to reach that ledge that will allow me to do a triple somersault
while simultaneously using the Force in midair to dispose of some robotic enemies?
Who gives a damn? This is nothing more than a side-scrolling platform game ineptly
masquerading as a 3D adventure. If you want to play a real action/adventure game,
then purchase Redguard, Mask of Eternity or Redjack and relegate
this imposter to the bargain bin.

This reviewer was one of the very few
unaffected by the Star Wars mania that has swept the nation, but I have
to admit that after loading the review copy of The Phantom Menace on my
hard drive and hearing the familiar swell of the Star Wars theme song,
I was sucked right back into the magic of George Lucas’s mythological universe.
Having quickly reached level 2, the Swamps of Naboo, I began to worry that maybe
the game might be following the movie too closely, so it was off to the theater
I went. While the game does not follow the movie religiously, it does hit on the
key points of the film while also supplying some subplots and quests that could
have been intriguing but are instead turned into extended labyrinthine searches
(find my missing son) meant to extend but not enhance the play time. The subplots
have no real bearing on the final outcome of the game, nor do the menu choices
you make during your limited conversations with other characters. The “illusion”
of adventure is much stronger than the actual adventure itself. While one cannot
fault the plot–it is nothing more or less than what the movie presented–one
can be extremely dismayed by the lack of creativity that went into a game that
is obviously just another marketing tool no different than the endless supply
of Darth Maul toothbrushes and C3PO Underoos. Only this marketing ploy is thinly
disguised as a computer action/adventure for teenagers and adults. Phantom
Menace plot–C. Phantom Menace puzzles–F.

LucasArts,
fondly revered in the computer gaming field for the richness of its plots and
the complexity of its puzzles, from Day of the Tentacle to Grim Fandango,
has succumbed to the nouveau rich gesticulations of this new breed of adventure
gamers and blessed them with that they want in multitude–action. Action and more
action–disguised as adventure. Riveting light-saber battles, complex shoot-outs
between opposing forces that must be planned as carefully as any strategy sim,
walls scorched black by the heat of the guns. And George said, “Let there
be action,” and there was and it was good and it got a grade of
B.

What’s left? Oh yeah, graphics, sound and music. They are all excellent,
better than many games on the market. The graphics always allow for the best and
most advantageous camera angle, the music is, well, it’s Star Wars, and
the voice acting, even though it is not the actors from the movie, is very professional.
Hell, you can even understand Jar Jar. Okay, all three are great; grade of
B.

So why am I giving such short shrift to what is destined to be the
best-selling game of the year? Well, seeing as how the Star Wars franchise
has anointed itself as the progenitor of all things futuristic, episodic and mythological,
it only serves to make the insipidness of The Phantom Menace and the nose-thumbing
at adventure gamers all the more puzzling and disappointing. If you want to call
yourself a duck, i.e., action/adventure, then you damn well better quack like
a duck. Instead, this game squeals like a greedy merchandising pig. C’mon, LucasArts,
there is myriad Star Wars/Phantom Menace merchandising crap out there,
yet you couldn’t throw the poor neglected adventure gamer a bone! This game would
have sold hundreds of thousands of copies even if it had been a point-and-click
2D adventure. What could have and should have been a blessing for the genre is
instead a Jabba the Hut-sized slap in the face. After all adventure fans throughout
the far reaches of the galaxy proclaimed support of LucasArts during their early
years by singing the praises of Maniac Mansion and Sam ‘n’ Max, they
now thank us by giving us a long-awaited Star Wars adventure game–with
no adventure.

Do I personally recommend this game? Yes, but not as an adventure
game. This is a game that was marketed for the general public. Yet I am positive
that LucasArts couldn’t care less what a 43-year-old male does and does not like.
Bottom line–my three sons, aged 16, 11 and 9, who wouldn’t know a real adventure
game from Pokemon, love this self-proclaimed action/adventure game, and that,
my friends, is the bottom line–cold, hard cash. But here’s another bottom line,
LucasArts and all you other companies screwing us adventure gamers–I control
the purse strings in my house, and I will no longer support games or companies
that continue to bastardize the adventure genre. I wish I could report that Phantom
Menace is a good but failed try at an adventure game, but it is a sheep in
wolf’s clothing. I never thought the day would come when I would dread the release
of a new LucasArts game, but Indiana Jones and the Infernal Machine just
dropped off my list of must-have adventure games.

Final Grade C.

System
Requirements:
Windows 95 or 98
100% Windows
95/98 DirectX compatible
200 MHz or faster CPU
32 MB RAM
4 MB PCI
or AGP Direct 3D graphics accelerator
16-bit sound card
Quad speed IDE
or SCSI CD-ROM
100% Windows 95/98-compatible keyboard
Optional support
for gamepads and joysticks
DirectX 6.1 is included on the CD and must be installed
before playing