The Fundamentals of Adventure Game Reviewing 101
Good morning,
class.
Recently there was quite a stir on the Just Adventure message board
when one of our new staff members boldly went where no reviewer had gone before
and admitted that she had written a review of Full Throttle before finishing
the game. Readers were aghast, some of the JA staff were spastic (to put it mildly)
at the reader’s response, the future of the civilized world hung in the balance.
How could this be; how could a fair review be written if every infinitesimal detail
of the game had not been succored and savored like a succulent T-bone steak? Should
a good game reviewer absolutely, irrevocably finish the game before submitting
his or her review? Or is this another urban myth that has been blown out of proportion?
After all, a game review is nothing more and nothing less than one person’s opinion.
But can an objective opinion be formed by viewing an incomplete commodity? That,
boys and girls, is our subject matter for today’s class. So get out your notebooks
and your pens and prepare for some intensive note-taking. As always, no one will
be admitted to class once the late bell has rung.
Every major university
offers classes in film history, chronology of literature, short-story writing,
film reviewing, etc. As far as I know, not one university offers a course in “The
History and Evolution of the Computer Adventure Game.” Nor does anyone offer
a class called “How to Be an Adventure Game Reviewer.” It is a self-taught
skill honed by years of actually playing the games. You must posses excellent
writing skills and a love for the genre and be able to conjure up the cumulative
knowledge you have acquired from years of staying up late trying to solve one
more puzzle. The only reference materials at your disposal are the games themselves
and any information you can glean from company web sites and PC-related magazines.
In other words, there is no “How To” book that explains how to differentiate
a full motion video game from a 3D game from an animated 2D game. Think I am oversimplifying?
Go ask your mother to look at a sample of each game then ask her which is which.
Or look it up in your Funk and Wagnall. Or better yet, how about that computer
book detailing the evolution of the computer game, oops, there hasn’t been one
written yet. Actually, as the years go by the games do get easier to review as
there is now a body of work on which to base the review. I wonder what the review
of the first Zork game was like, “The plot is about an enchanted white
house in the middle of the woods. These silly games will never catch on with the
public.” I need to hunt down some of my dog-eared issues of Questbusters
to see what Shay Addams had to say about these early, groundbreaking classics.
Well, class, I think I have made my point regarding game history, but what about
that million-dollar question: should the reviewer finish the game before writing
the review?
The average movie lasts about two hours. The average book is
about 400 pages. If we read at a rate of 40 pages per hour then it would take
about 10 hours, on the average, to read a book. The average adventure game is
meant to be finished in between 30 and 50 hours. Let me reiterate this point.
You would have to watch about 25 movies or read five books in the same amount
of time it takes to complete an adventure game. Many experienced players can complete
a difficult game like Cydonia or Morpheus in about 25 hours. That
is still a lot of time to devote to one project. When you have finished a book,
you have read every word in that novel. When you watch a movie, you have seen
every shot and heard every line of dialogue in that movie. Sure, there may be
some deep, hidden themes or some subtle inferences you did not catch, but you
have seen the entire movie. When you have finished an adventure game, you have
not played the entire game. There may be multiple endings, there may be rooms
you did not enter since they were not necessary to finish the game, there may
be lines of dialogue you did not choose during a conversation. Is there anyone
out there who can honestly say that they hear every line of dialogue and see every
ending possible in every game they play? If so, you are a scary individual and
I want you to stay away from my family. Even if you have done all this, then what
about Easter eggs? Were there any hidden scenes or pranks put in the game by the
developers that might have influenced your final opinion of the game? With the
exception of early classics like Pac Man and Pong, I cannot think
of very many games in which I have seen every board, every pixel, every 3D-accelerated
scene.
Has anyone ever complained that a review was incomplete because the
reviewer did not finish that game of Doom or Quake or Motoracer?
Has anyone ever finished any of these games? There is, you do realize, a concluding
scene to these games. Quick, how many out there ever know how Doom ends?
Hardly anyone. These games though are not made to be finished. They are made to
be replayed over and over and over again. Adventure games and role-playing games
are made to be played to a satisfactory conclusion. But how many out there even
remember the finish from any adventure game? Not many. I have literally played
hundreds of adventure games and could probably count on one hand the endings I
remember, and even those are vague. The level of writing for computer games has
not yet reached the level where we have had a memorable finale on the grand order
of a Citizen Kane or a Raiders of the Lost Ark. Yes, a good twist
to an ending can influence your overall opinion of a movie or a book, but we have
yet to attain that pinnacle in the gaming world. I have yet in 18 years of gaming
played a game where my entire perspective of the game was changed by the conclusion.
Usually, the review is mentally written before I have even reached the halfway
point of the game. But what if you insist on finishing the game before you write
a review? What if you are stuck on a puzzle for days and there is no hope in sight
and you want the review to be finished before the next millennium? Yes, Mr. White,
your hand is raised. A walkthrough, you say? Well, let’s see what the rest of
the class thinks about this new iron in the fire.
I used to be dead-set
against walkthroughs. Come fire and brimstone, I would not use a walkthrough.
Maybe it was a guy thing, sort of like not asking for directions even when we
have been hopelessly lost for days. I have more unfinished games here then you
would believe. A funny thing happened, though: I thought it would be fair to my
readers if I finished the game, and the only way that was possible was to resort
to the last resort, a walkthrough. But is it really fair if I “cheat?”
Am I still being objective about the difficulty level of the game? Well, I think
that I have played enough games in my lifetime that I can effectively gauge the
difficulty level of a particular puzzle. I try to not use the walkthrough until
it is absolutely necessary, but I no longer hesitate when I am stuck on a puzzle
as I want to finish the game so I can do the review. As I said in my review on
Cydonia, “If you were to put a thousand monkeys with a thousand computers
all playing a copy of Cydonia in one room … well, suffice it to say that
the majority of the monkeys would be playing Monkey Island 4 before I would
complete Cydonia.” I may not be the brightest bulb in the room, but
I know when I am stumped.
In conclusion, class, what are the rules for writing
a review on an adventure game? The rule is there are no rules. You try to be fair
and ethical. You let your readers know if you have used a walkthrough or if you
have only played 75 percent of the game. You let the reader know if you have
played a finished version of the game or a beta version. Does it really matter
if you have finished the game? Sometimes. But more often than not, no. Your readers
will let you know if they think your review has been unjustly influenced or if
you have skimped over sections of the game. Hell, if you guys would attack [Jenny
Guenther] you’ll attack anybody! Well class, I see that we are out of time for
today. Mr. Dickens, I need to see you after class so that we can discuss your
attitude. As for the rest of you, class is dismissed.
