For those gamers who moan, “They don’t make ’em like they used
to,” I offer as evidence The Rocky Interactive Horror Show, a game
that looks and plays as though it were made seven years ago. Unfortunately, in
the world of computer gaming–that is a bad thing. In all fairness, Rocky Horror
was only recently made available for purchase in North America toward the
end of 2000, but the game itself was released in Europe early in 1999 and this
review was written in February of 2001 (the reason I am documenting all of these
dates is because I have this theory that someday my Just Adventure reviews will
be placed in a time capsule for future generations to enjoy).

For the past
twenty-five years, Rocky Horror Picture Show has been the midnight
cult classic for movie-goers around the world. In fact, I recently wondered what
the overall gross must be for this picture. Surely it must approach the profits
made by such top-grossing pictures as Titanic and Star Wars. Especially
when you consider that Rocky Horror has had midnight weekend showings at
theaters across the United States for as long as twenty years. Rather than document
the history of the movie (though you can find tons of information on the world
wide web), I thought that a brief history of this review might prove interesting.

Two
years ago, On-Line, the developers and distributors of Rocky Interactive Horror
Show, mailed me a boxed copy of the game and a press kit that included a bright
red garter belt (if you have seen the movie, then you understand). I was, at the
time, as far as I knew, the only person in North America to possess this game
(as a side note, the official name of the game on the box cover is Richard
O’Brien’s On-line Rocky Interactive Horror Show, which is very confusing considering
that the game cannot be played online). I read the humorous documentation, loaded
the game on my computer, and played away, thrilled by the prospect of being the
first reviewer and webzine in North America to post a review of this game. Unfortunately,
some of the puzzles are so obscure as to be unsolvable, and there was not any
place to acquire any hints. A few months later, I suggested to a now ex-friend
that we should both play the game–she as Janet, me as Brad–we could help each
other through the tough parts and then do a dual review. She enthusiastically
agreed. What I did not realize at the time was that this person was as flaky as
a Pillsbury biscuit (the astute reader will have noticed that I have refrained
from naming any names as I do not wish to have a slander/defamation of character
lawsuit added to my laundry list of problems). Once again, no Rocky Interactive
Horror Show review. A year passed and I found another sucker, er reviewer,
willing to try this game. Ray Ivey. This is a man who won big money on Jeopardy!
A man who has helped to create two board games. A man who won Ben Stein’s
money, for God’s sake! A man who telephoned me almost in tears calling this game
the biggest piece of dreck he had ever played and complaining about the impossible
puzzles. What a whiner. Fast-forward another eight months, and there on the shelf
in Babbages, for the low, low price of $19.99, is the Rocky Interactive Horror
Show. Of course, I don’t purchase it since I have owned it for the past two
years. But then something inexplicable begins to nag at me (no, not my wife, if
it had been her I would have said, “something explicable began to nag at
me”) and I conducted an Internet search and discovered that all of a sudden
there were reviews of Rocky Interactive Horror Show everywhere! From sites
with the dumbest reviewers imaginable (no, I did not say Gamespot, but if you
want to think that, fine by me) to sites maintained by Mensa members. How could
this be? Well, golly gee, it seems the North American version or Rocky Interactive
Horror Show has included a walkthrough in the packaging. Us dumb Americans.
Now I’m not saying I needed a walkthrough, mind you, but I did purchase the newly
packaged version of the game so that I could point out the differences between
the two versions to you, dear Just Adventure reader.

The premise of the
game finds your typical clean-cut couple, Brad and Janet, at the castle door of
Dr. Frank N. Furter (who, as all true adventure fans are aware, was played by
Tim Curry), an alien transvestite from the planet of Transsexual. Unlike the film
version, wherein Brad and Janet together attempted to escape from the castle (because,
you see, the castle is really a spaceship that … ah, forget it), for the game
they are separated and one is turned into stone by Dr. Furter’s Medusa Machine.
You must play as the unpetrified character and have thirty minutes of game time
to save your partner. I did play as both characters (though we will not speak
of the clothes I wore while playing as Janet) and did not notice any differences
in gameplay. Fear not, though, for those of you who avoid games with time limits
like I avoid fans of Monkey Island, there are many ways to “beat the
clock.”

Red lips are scattered about the castle and will add to your
playing time–and you will need them. As you wander around attempting to solve
puzzles, residents of the house will rip off your clothes, and you cannot continue
until you find your wardrobe. The game’s puzzles are unorthodox and totally atypical,
but in a strange way they are also at times brilliant. One of the more ingenious
puzzles actually requires you to dance the Time Warp. It is old-fashioned point-and-click,
pick-up everything in sight, but I can’t say I ever remember playing a game in
which one of my inventory items was a pair of crotchless panties (well, at least
not a computer game). As another throwback to the Neanderthal ages of gaming,
the game is keyboard-controlled, no mouse welcome here. Actually, the keyboard
control seems to enhance the campy gameplay and though it at first feels awkward,
it does eventually begin to feel natural.

After being bombarded with so
many 3D, lip-synching, toe-tapping games recently, Rocky Interactive Horror
Show’s graphics are, to put it mildly, offsetting. The rooms and game structure
appear to have been influenced by Mad Magazine’s Sergio Aragones. They
are a deliriously organized assortment of clutter and mayhem. Some of the rooms,
such as the black-and-white Psycho shower room, are demented masterpieces, and
others are meant to capture the spirit of the movie by recreating the laboratory,
the dining room, and the Zen room.

Most of the characters have been rotoscoped
from the movie, but there is very little interaction with these mute figures.
Rather, there are video clips that will randomly pop up to offer advice, sing
a song, whatever. There are two people featured in these video clips. The first
is the Game Devil himself, who is played by the infamous Richard O’Brien, the
creator of the original Rocky Horror Picture Show. To those who have only
seen the film once or twice, Mr. O’Brien will look vaguely familiar, and should,
as he played Riff-Raff in the film version. O’Brien is also the genius who penned
the wonderful, eclectic mix of music for the film version, and a few of the songs
are included on the game disk as AVI files.

The other character who occasionally
appears is the Narrator. The Narrator in the film version was the icing on the
cake; a straitlaced, professor type whose descent into silliness seemed to define
the overall lighthearted tone of the film. In the game, the Narrator is played
by that maestro of horror, that living legend of the British cinema, none other
than … Christopher Lee. Now prepare to be bored silly as I attempt to explain
how and why the inclusion of such a revered actor detracted from the lunacy.

In
1953 (there he goes with them dates again), director Ed Wood, widely considered
by many to be the worst B movie director of all time, released Glen or Glenda,
an autobiographical hymnal to the joys of transvestitism. Glen or Glenda,
also know as I Changed My Sex, is primarily remembered for two reasons:
Ed’s fondness for angora sweaters, and famed horror actor Bela Lugosi, who was
a staple of Wood’s productions. Bela was deep in the throes of heroin addiction
and financially obligated to Ed Wood. Wood insisted Bela appear in his new film,
but how to fit an actor famed for his role as Dracula into a film about a cross-dresser?
For Ed Wood, nothing was ever a problem. Bela served as a moralistic judge passing
judgment on guiding the lives of the players in the movie. His set consisted of
Bela poised in a chair in a dungeon/lab-like setting. His inspired monologues
in no way seemed to have anything at all to do with the movie, though Ed in his
slightly deranged thought process saw Lugosi as a god directing the lives of the
movie’s actors. Lugosi, for his part, did not have a clue, which is one of the
reasons why Glen or Glenda is today a cult classic.

Now jump forward
46 years to a game based on The Rocky Horror Picture Show: a movie know
for its theme of transvestitism. The narrator of the game is horror legend Christopher
Lee. He sits in a high-back chair in a setting totally incongruous to the game.
His narrative ramblings seem to have nothing to do with the game, and he looks
wildly out of place. Coincidence? I don’t think so. Rather, I think it was the
game creator’s way of paying homage to Ed Wood. Or maybe not. The point is that
Lee seems strangely out of place in a game that thrives on strange. What does
all this mean? Not only do I not know, but now I’m sorry I even broached the subject.

The
bottom line here is that Rocky Interactive Horror Show is not a game for
everyone. If you are a fan of the move, then it is just a jump to the left, and
if you have an open mind and just want to have some fun, then it is just a step
to the right. But if it is the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane and
if you despise 2D graphics, no mouse control, and point-and-click, inventory-based
games, then I have to wonder why you have even read this far unless you’re …
one of them?

Final Grade: B-

If you liked Rocky Interactive
Horror Show:
Read: How I Overcame My Fear of Whores, Royalty, Gays,
Teachers, Hippies, Psychiatrists, Athletes, Transvestites, Clergymen, Police,
Children, Bullies, Politicians, Nuns, Grandparents, Doctors, Celebrities, Gurus,
Judges, Artists, Critics, Mothers, Fathers, Publishers, and Myself by Justin
Thomas
Watch: C’mon, I think you can figure out this one!
Play:
Maniac Mansion

System Requirements:Pentium
150
16 MB RAM
8X CD-ROM
2 MB Graphic Card
Sound Blaster
300 MB
free hard drive space