“May I have the envelope, please?”

The
Mighty Karnak’s assistant hands him a sealed envelope. He then places it against
his forehead and appears to go into a trance.

“And the answer is Nightmare
on Elm Street Part 4, Rocky 4, Jaws 4, and Escape from Monkey Island.“

“Nightmare
on Elm Street Part 4, Rocky 4, Jaws 4, and Escape from Monkey Island,”
repeats the assistant.

Karnak glares at the source of the echo, “May
a plague of locusts feast upon your wooden leg.” He tears open and blows
into the end of the envelope. After removing and unfolding the sheet of paper
inside, he then reads aloud, “And the question is, name four sequels that
should be forgotten.”

If you do not find the above to be riotously
funny, then you surely will want to avoid a game in which I found the title to
be eerily prophetic, for the longer I played, the more I could not wait to Escape
from Monkey Island.

Escape from Monkey Island is the fourth in
a celebrated series of adventures featuring LucasArts’ pirate-wannabe Guybrush
Threepwood. As is often the case when any series–be it movie, book, or game–has
had four installments over the course of ten years, this is one product that should
have been left in dry-dock. The puns are juvenile, the plot is recycled, and the
characters are stale. But this is only the tip of the iceberg, for EFMI is
a game so riddled with bugs that a patch was released within two weeks of its
release. It seems this is one monkey that should have been dipped in flea powder
before going out in public.

Every story must have a beginning even if the
plot is then advanced only via one-liners and puzzles. This time around, Guybrush
and his new bride Elaine Marley are returning from their honeymoon when they discover
that Elaine has been declared dead and is no longer officially governor of Melee
Island. Her mansion is about to be demolished, and a politician new to the island,
Charles L. Charles, is jockeying for the vacant government position. The politician
is, of course, their nemesis from the previous three games–LeChuck. As Elaine
lobbies to regain her governorship, Guybrush is sent to reclaim some legal documents
and heirlooms, which in turn becomes a mission to stop one Ozzie Mandrill from
commercializing the collective islands and a search for the Ultimate Insult.

An
inherent problem with sequels is that the audience usually decreases with each
subsequent installment as new players are afraid to enter the fray for fear that
they are jumping into the middle of the story and, since they are not aware of
what previously occurred, will not be able to understand the current goings on.
This is one reason why publishers will name their game Escape from Monkey Island
instead of Monkey Island 4–in order to attract new gamers. So if you
do go to such lengths to attract new blood, then why would you include so many
characters and references to previous events? For instance, a meeting with Carla
and Otis contains numerous humor-laden references to their previous misadventures
with Guybrush. There are also appearances by Meathook, Murray the Demonic Talking
Skull, and others. The problem here is that none of this is terribly funny if
you have not actually played the earlier games–the references are meaningless
since little background material has been provided. Already the new gamer is baffled
and feels lost. Not to mention an allusion to a fear of porcelain, fighting like
a cow, and insult competitions (the equivalent of playing the dozens). If you
found this silliness funny in the previous games, then you surely will once again
snicker. If you have not played them, then you will feel as welcome as a stranger
in a strange land.

The humor in EFMI mainly consists of one-liners
and snappy responses, but it rarely rises to the level of subtle wit. For example,
when Guybrush spots a repossessed dresser in the Lucre Island bank, he quips,
“I sure hope the previous owner got a chance to empty their underwear drawer.”
Giggle, giggle. Exactly what type of audience were the developers aiming for–the
Rugrats crowd? I’m honestly surprised that there are not any booger or
dirty diaper jokes in the game. Guybrush himself is the biggest problem. To be
the perfect buffoon, everyone around you needs to be a straight man, not constantly
cracking jokes. Think of Inspector Clouseau of the Pink Panther series
or Leslie Nielson in the Naked Gun movies. The reason these characters
are so memorable and funny is in a large part due to the reaction of the normal
people who surround them. A game based on Elaine’s reaction to the lunacy surrounding
her straitlaced attitude would be much funnier. Another problem with the humor
is a running joke making fun of the name Australia. Of course, the occupants of
Lucre, Melee, and Jambalaya Islands see nothing wrong with the names of their
islands, but pronouncing Australia and kangaroos is funny. Why? I am sure that
internally this had the writers guffawing and slapping each other on the back,
but maybe this running joke is a microcosm of what plagues a product that is developed
in-house without an outsider’s unbiased opinion.

Worst of all is an interface
that is among the most frustrating ever encountered. Maneuvering Guybrush to the
proper position to interact with a character or object is literally at times impossible.
Two control options are available, keyboard and gamepad, and both proved equally
inept. The screen will list your options–look at fountain, use bottle with fountain,
etc.–but way too often it is impossible to highlight the option you would like.
You find yourself attempting to take baby steps in an attempt to place Guybrush
in a proper position. If this was an occasional problem it would be forgivable,
but it is present in every scene on every level and would be inexcusable from
any company. Holding down the shift key to allow the slow-walking Guybrush to
run between areas is almost as bad as he becomes challenging to control and will
spin and run in a direction opposite of what you intended. Did no one beta-test
this game, or was Christmas fast approaching?

My downfall, though, was a
puzzle that required obtaining a wooden prosthetic hand. The command to do so
was present on the screen, but no matter how I angled Guybrush or what buttons
I pressed I still could not highlight that particular option. Finally, in frustration
and desperation, I consulted two different walkthroughs to see if I had missed
anything. Nope. Then I read a posting on the JA Forum that a patch had been released
for EFMI. After downloading the patch (and there is a laundry list of bugs),
I found that another of my problems had been corrected, my drive constantly accessing
the disk and causing entire dialogues to be missed (and before you attempt to
attribute the sound problem to my computer or outdated drivers, let me state that
EFMI was the very first game I installed on my brand new, top-of-the-line,
one-gigahertz computer and I am currently playing four other games without any
sound problems). Finally, I called a friend (no, it wasn’t Regis) who emailed
a save past that point. Honestly, by that time I was so sick of the lame jokes
and the deplorable controls that I decided to use a walkthrough to finish the
game.

There are a few commendable points to EFMI. The puzzles are
clever and, as they should be in this type of game, increase in difficulty and
silliness as the game progresses. Most of them are easily solved if you are willing
to think outside of the box. Even if you aren’t quite sure why you did what you
did to solve a puzzle, you will later find yourself remembering a visual or verbal
clue that clears the confusion. The graphics and voice-acting are excellent. The
3D animation is especially light and airy and provides a whimsical touch to the
proceedings, but few of the explicitly drawn characters have, well, character.
The bait shop owner is indistinguishable from the bank manager who is indistinguishable
from the bartender as all any of them do is crack one joke after another.

EFMI
brings nothing new to the table. It will not attract a new generation of gamers
and was made for the hardcore adventure gamer who enjoyed the previous episodes.
Like many movie sequels that have outlived their usefulness, EFMI is a
watered-down, shorter version of a classic that is relying on its past glories.

Finally,
the inability of numerous webzines to be consistent in their reviews of this game
is an embarrassment to the industry. They admit up front that the game is riddled
with bugs, that the controls leave a lot to be desired, and that the game is too
short, and then they give it five stars or a 9 out of 10. If it were any company
but LucasArts, these same journalists would be crying bloody murder, but they
still have this unrealistic fear that LucasArts will be disgusted if an adventure
gamer demands quality and will never again produce another adventure game. After
the dismal programming of games like The Phantom Menace, Indiana Jones and
the Infernal Machine, and now Escape from Monkey Island, maybe LucasArts
needs to tighten its quality control. If you want to experience LucasArts at its
peak, then find yourself a copy of Grim Fandango or Day of the Tentacle.
As for EFMI, it goes without saying that if you enjoyed the earlier
episodes, then you will most likely enjoy this one also. If you have yet to play
a Monkey Island game, then don’t let EFMI be your introduction to
the series.

Final Grade: C

PC System Requirements:
Win 95/98
266 MHz CPU
32 MB RAM
3D accelerator
Quad speed CD-ROM

Keyboard or gamepad
Direct X 7.0 or higher