The State of Adventure Gaming

By Randy Sluganski

Adventure
Sales Figures

All sales were provided by PC Data and are for the month
of May 2001. These sales figures do not reflect international or online sales.

To provide a point of comparison, below are the sales figures for two
of the most heavily advertised nonadventure games of the year.

You should take note of the extremely poor sales figures for Stupid
Invaders, surely a game that has been buried due to poor marketing and not
because it is an adventure title. Also, the sales figures for The Mummy are
for the rerelease by Interplay of the game that was originally released in September
of 1996, a savvy move on their part to ride the coattails of the blockbuster movie.

Mysty
Eyed

Now
that Myst 3: Exile leads the sales charts, let’s take a look at the opinions
of the evil gaming mags.

PC Gamer featured a review by Michael Wolf,
who described the game as “incredibly beautiful, excellent, challenging puzzles;
fantastic acting” and scored it at 85%.

Computer Gaming World included
a balanced review by Charles Ardai, who gave the game two stars (out of five)
and declared Myst 3 a “clumsy and tiresome bit of nothing.”

Next
Generation had a review by Carla Harker, who gave it four stars (out of five)
and said, “Although we’re stunned to admit it, Myst III: Exile is
one of the best adventure games to come out in some time.”

And finally,
there is always that one sycophant, that one nonbeliever who just refuses to believe
that an intelligent person can become involved in a game that does not feature
any decapitations or T&A. So let’s bow our heads and take this opportunity
to present our …

Whipping Boy of the Month Award

To
Thomas L. McDonald, who in the July issue of Maximum PC was heard to simper,
“I guess I should take a moment to comment on Myst III in the same
way game writers (myself included) dissed the original and the sequel. But the
space where I should have a pithy comment is filled with soul-numbing indifference.
Pretty pictures. Nice atmosphere. Lots of clicking. If that’s your bag and you
just can’t handle the in-your-face intensity of, say, Chessmaster, then
have at it.”

Mr. McDonald, since the space where you should have gray
cells seems to be filled with jello, we can only hope that someone comes along
with a can of whipped cream, a big spoon, and a hearty appetite.

It’s
Good to Be King

Before we take leave of the magazines, I would like
to offer a heartfelt congratulation to Jeff Green on his recent promotion to Editor-in-Chief
of Computer Gaming World. When contacted about his policies regarding the
adventure genre, Mr. Green (he asked me to address him in this manner) told Just
Adventure that, “Yes, now that I am king I shall insist that all games be
adventure and I’ve committed to running all reviews by Randy Sluganski at Just
Adventure before they go to print, so we can avoid fiascos like the recent Myst
3 review.”

I am reminded here of the old adage, “Be careful
what you wish for …”

From Beauty to the Beast

I
recently had the opportunity to visit Toronto (which you will hear all about this
Friday!), and imagine my surprise when the official magazine of Air Canada, EnRoute,
contained a feature article on the goddess of adventure gaming–Pamela Anderson.
I was though flabbergasted to read the following:

“In fact, having
the phrase ‘Pam Anderson’ on your site became a sure-fire way of attracting eyeballs.
Soon, people and companies began including the words on their pages even if their
sites had absolutely nothing to do with the Uberbabe–merely because it
would get them traffic. When I recently did a search for Anderson, I found everything
from an education site to a biz-school student’s home-page and on-line resume,
neither of which actually had any Andersonalia at all.”

Now I ask you,
what kind of lowlife would be so despicable as to constantly refer to Pamela Anderson
and even post pictures of her (see fig.1) simply to acquire more readers? The
only way to sink even lower would be to post pictures of Britney Spears (see fig.2)
or that hottie Sela Ward (the Britney Spears for men in their forties–see fig.3).
Rest assured, dear readers, this is one sordid area in which Just Adventure refuses
to tread.

(Fig.
1)

(Fig. 2)

(Fig.
3)

Follow the Bouncing Ball

We now present for your listening
pleasure the official Just
Adventure theme song. Brought to you by the staff of Mixnmojo, Adventure Gamer,
and, it seems, some LucasArts employees (or maybe it will soon be ex-LucasArts
employees once this has been made public), we are especially fond of the JA
Sucks photo spread and the dancing
Randys. Go Randy, go!

This
Quacks Me Up

From an email received at Just Adventure:

“My
name is Darren Bartlett, and I was a partner at Illusions Gaming Company, and
the Creative Director and Lead Designer on the Duckman project. It was
a joy to produce, and Playmates (along with Paramount) gave us free reign. I don’t
think they realized what they were getting until the project was done. And surprisingly,
it made it that far!

“We shuttered the doors of Illusions about 3 years
ago. After releasing Duckman, we went on to produce 2 Beavis and Butt-head
titles for GT Interactive. Quite a shock switching from what I consider a
very sophisticated (although sometimes moronic) to a rather unsophisticated (and
even more moronic) property.

“Since The Illusions Gaming Company, I’ve
formed another company called Liquid Development–a company dedicated to providing
art resources for video games … no more full development for us! Our first titles
were with The 3DO Company. We designed and modeled 25 Major League Baseball stadiums
for High Heat Baseball, and we helped create over 200 objects, including
vehicles, buildings, and boss-characters for Army Men Green Rogue. Recently,
we completed character design for Harry Potter Online (Origin), and have
played a role in James Bond: The World Is Not Enough for EA. Currently,
we’re working with Shiny Entertainment on assets for their upcoming Matrix
II game.

“At any rate. I’m just sending this email over after reading
the review, and noticing the comment at the bottom: ‘Attempts to find anyone who
had a hand developing or distributing this game have been futile.'”

Who’s
Your Daddy?

Have you ever seen a more inept marketing department then
Eidos (keeping in mind that Ubi Soft is still number 1)? The Tomb Raider movie
is released amidst much hoopla and not only is there not a new Tomb
Raider game in the stores, but they don’t even have a special package of the
older games available to take advantage of the free publicity. Oh, sure, they
have a Tomb Raider the Movie game coming out this fall, but isn’t that
too little too late? Or maybe they are afraid of stirring up last year’s news
reports concerning the distasteful arrest of one of the Tomb Raider creators?

G.O.D.
Is Good

Gathering of Developers (G.O.D.) has been taking a lot of heat
lately for their blatant display of sexism and raunchiness at the E3, but allow
me to play devil’s advocate for a moment and defend G.O.D.’s silly antics. Unlike
companies like Eidos that prominently feature huge-breasted, scantily clad females
in their games and then act surprised and even insulted when the public complains
(lesbians? We thought they were just happy to see each other), G.O.D. exposes
the silliness of this industry by pushing it to the extreme and apologizing to
no one. Smitty and the gang from Texas are among some of the best in the industry
(Smitty, please call my private number so I can give you my mailing address for
that “gift”).

Red
Herrings

Odds and ends until next time:

• Josh Mandel providing
  the voices for the unauthorized remake of King’s
  Quest 1!? More on this shocking development in the immediate future
  as Audrey Wells looks for the untold story.
• Adam Rodman has gone searching
  also, and he has an intriguing article on how companies like Ubi Soft and Dreamcatcher
  chose their names.
• Rivenguild gone! Holy Myst-clone Batman! Stay
  tuned to this site, same Just Adventure time, same Just Adventure channel, for
  some announcements that will rock the Internet!
• The return of Just RPG?!
  Is the Adventure Coalition reforming?! Things are hot and heavy in adventureland.
• Who are the gods and goddesses of the adventure genre? Find out this
  Friday as we, well, just be here on Friday.
• If you have not yet played
  the Stickman Murders,
  what are you waiting for? These are among some of the funniest games on the Internet.
  And speaking of funny, make sure to visit Jeff
  Strand’s Seriously Whacked Site for some of the funniest reading on the Internet.
• Finally,
  a gracious farewell to Harriet Gurganus. For the past two years, she has lovingly
  devoted her valued time to JA’s Upcoming Releases column, but now she has decided
  it is time to move on. We will miss her and know you will too.