The State of Adventure Gaming

By Randy Sluganski
April 2000

Please
Do Our Demografic Demmographic … Just Do the Danged Survey!

Before
I commence with my monthly dose of silliness, I would like to be serious for a
moment and ask you to please fill out our adventure marketing survey. We hope
to use the results to show publishers exactly who comprises their buying audience.
With these figures compiled, we intend to pinpoint unexplored areas for marketing
to the adventure gamer. Your participation could be invaluable in attracting advertisers
for our site and putting adventure games for sale in places where they will be
noticed instead of in the clearance section. Now on to the ribaldry.

Harriet
Does the Hula

In April and May, Just Adventure is going around the world,
and we’re taking you along. In France we will attempt to solve Paris 1313 and
The Mystery of Notre-Dame. In Italy we will pay a visit to Tony Tough
and the Night of Roasted Moths. Australia will be the setting for Case
Closed, and Russia will provide a double dose of adventuring as we tackle
New Robinson and Bermuda 99. Then it’s back to the good old US of
A and a visit from The Time Warrior. Have your bags packed and your adventure
gear handy and join us as JA goes international.

We’re Smokinnnnnn …

We
were thrilled with the article about Just Adventure in Yahoo Internet magazine.
Not to mention the spread in the best-selling PC Player. But it was mind-boggling
when USA Today, the best-selling daily newspaper in the United States,
named Just Adventure as one of the hottest sites on the Internet. The best part
of all, though, is not that JA was named a hot site, but the attention such an
accreditation brings to the much-neglected adventure genre. In case you missed
what USA Today had to say about us, well, read on … “Just Adventure
is an editorially rich destination for adventure gamers on the Web. It prides
itself on pulling no punches and digging for scoops.” You go, USA Today!

Cracks Kill

Our intrepid reviewer, Ray Ivey, found out
the hard way that cracks kill as Just Adventure’s monument to athleticism tripped
over a crack in the sidewalk and shattered his right elbow. Ray should soon be
pumping out articles and reviews faster than ever considering his elbow has been
reconstructed with solid steel. If you see Ray wandering the streets of Hollywood,
please stop and offer your condolences and remember, if you do sign his cast,
all signatures become the copyrighted property of Just Adventure.

Even
Disneyland Has a Haunted House

For an excellent addendum to our (Not)
Playing the Game four-part series, please make sure to visit this link
supplied by a faithful reader. You may also want to read Cindy Yans’s response
to our Chips & Bits article.
While there, make sure to also read her March 14, 1999 edition of “The Road
to Nowhere.” Seems I am not the only one who “misunderstands” many
things.

I have also learned that a national organization named DADS (Dads
and Daughters) has launched a letter-writing campaign asking Mattel to stop marketing
Barbie computer games to girls. According to a survey conducted by the American
Association of University Women Educational Foundation, “girls are shying
away from computing because they are disenchanted with games that are too violent,
redundant and tedious.” Maybe some male marketing genius will create a first-person
shooter featuring a barefoot and pregnant heroine who converts the bad guys through
her gourmet cooking skills (I gotta quit giving away these great ideas!).

And
Still No Reported Cases of Food Poisoning

Just Adventure is on course
to receive 50,000 visitors this month! We have come a long way in the past year,
and we owe it all to you. Our readers have made Just Adventure the most widely
read and respected adventure site on the Internet. Your support proves that the
genre is still alive and kicking. Most important of all, though, we recently sponsored
an impartial survey and discovered that of all the webzines, the Just Adventure
reviews are by far the healthiest:

Remember, for the low-fat, high-protein choice, it’s Just Adventure.

CD Access

We
have looked high and low for an on-line company that could supply a full line
of adventure games to our readers worldwide, and we have settled on CD Access.
Their line of adventure games is extensive and competitively priced, and during
a recent conversation I had with owner Kirk Jensen, he promised to attempt to
acquire many hard-to-get games for our readers. Kirk and his wife are both well-informed
gamers who know their product, and I look forward to working with them instead
of a faceless megacompany. Watch for the CD Access banner to premiere soon at
the bottom of our front page. Remember, every order you place at CD Access through
JA helps to pay our server costs.

We’ve Got the Whole World in Our Hands

The
Globe.com, owners of Happy Puppy and Games Domain, recently purchased Chips &
Bits, Computer Games magazine, and CDMag on-line for $16 million. Does
anyone have Janet Reno’s phone number?

Don’t Touch That Dial

Just
Adventure on television? Your worst nightmare may soon come true as you awaken
in the middle of the night to the sound of my voice blaring from your television.
The Computer Show, a nationally syndicated cable program, has invited us
to appear on their program during our E3 junket and discuss the future of the
adventure game. We will provide more details as they become available. Until then,
you may want to start humming the theme song from The Twilight Zone.

Monkey
Island Snore

Am I the only one who is not excited by the announcement
of a 3D Monkey Island 4? Personally, I found attempting to play the previous
Monkey Islands an exercise in tediousness as I was put off by the juvenile
humor and rehashed puzzles. Why not a new Full Throttle, Grim Fandango, or
even a Star Wars adventure game? All are more deserving. What is my point
here (and it is not to invite hate mail)? Well, to use a cliché, “One
man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” While I recognize the MI series
for the classics that they are, they are also not my cup of tea. Yet, I would
never think to call them garbage simply because I dislike them. For every game
you like, there is someone who dislikes the same game for exactly the same reasons
you like it! It is this willingness to discuss our different opinions, rather
than write an entire product line off as garbage, that continues to make the adventure
community so strong.

Busty Babes and Sucker Bites

In celebration
of their acquisition of Dracula Resurrection for North American distribution,
we understand that Dreamcatcher personnel attending the E3 will be dressed as
vampires replete with bloody bites on their necks, fake fangs for the men, and
cleavage-enhancing corsets for the women. In the spirit of cooperation, all visitors
to their booth will be presented with a garlic necklace and then locked in a computer-equipped
coffin buried six feet below the stage floor. For those Dreamcatcher employees
who have just soiled their Depends, consider yourselves the recipient of a belated
April Fool’s joke.

Leftovers

For those old enough to attend
the E3, a real treat is in store–both Michael Crichton and Clive Barker are scheduled
to appear … PC Gamer (a.k.a. G ME CRAP) recently reviewed Cinegram Media’s
Search for the Golden Dolphin and gave it a whopping score of 15%. While
it is not unusual for PC Gamer to give an adventure game a low score, it
is unusual for them to provide a full-page review to an edutainment product. And,
no, I’m not suggesting that those expensive, full-page color advertisements that
Cinegram Media ran for three months played a part in PC Gamer’s decision
to review the game … Darcy Danielson, our Mac reviewer, may soon be reviewing
some Gameboy adventure games … SouthPeak has released their line-up for the
next year and there is nary an adventure game in site … If you would like to
be added to our list of almost 2,000 readers who receive our newsletter, then
drop a line to [email protected]
with the word “subscribe” in the header.