Ray’s Adventure Game Rule #9985: Some Games Are Obscure for a Good
Reason.

My gaming friends know me as a compulsive completist when it
comes to adventure games. I search out the most obscure games I can find, and
I like to play any series in order, even if the very first one is (in computer
years) a bit on the ancient side.

So. Having never played a Zork game, and
since reaching back to the original text games was too extreme a step even for
me, I recently dusted off an old copy of the first graphic Zork game, Return
to Zork, and fired it up.

The game starts quite promisingly, with a
tribute to the original Zork text game. The screen goes black, and you see the
following typed text: “You are standing next to a white house. There is a
mailbox in front of you.” I’m sure this tribute to the original game must
have sent shivers down the spine of true-blue Zork fans.

Just how old is
this game? It’s from 1993, which is old enough that it still has the “Infocom”
label on it, though Infocom was already a division of Activision by then.

The
graphics of the game are adequate, DOS era-style. Nothing particularly imaginative,
though. The best part of the look of the game is the use of video actors for the
characters. The cast is colorful, and the performance are surprisingly good. I
also must note that RTZ is that rarest of games, one in which the
characters are pleasing not only to eye of, say, a 15-year-old straight
boy. It’s quite rare when the ladies and gay men of who play games are given characters
to, uh, appreciate. Thanks, Infocom.

However, other than the hunky blacksmith,
the rest of the game doesn’t have much to recommend it.

The format of the
game is first-person, which is a rarity for games of this era. The interface is
reasonably handy.

But. This is the silliest collection of puzzles
I’ve ever seen. RTZ is one of those games that seems to be designed with
the philosophy that one game should occupy you for a year or so, and therefore
can only be solved by an excessive amount of wandering around and puzzles that
are so illogical it’s ridiculous.

RTZ made the puzzles in Simon
the Sorceror seem organic and mild.

The story and gameplay are also
disappointing. I never really understood why I was doing what I was doing, even
after reading the volumes of material the game so generously provides. I didn’t
understand the structure of the whole Zork Universe, and the game didn’t offer
to help much. Plus, major elements of the story were dropped for no reason–for
example, at the beginning of the game a character starts talking to you from a
crystal sphere. For the first part of the game he comments, cracks jokes, and
offers hints. Then he just shuts up … for the rest of the game. Why?

I’ve
heard that Zork Nemesis and Zork Grand Inquisitor are well worth
playing. I do still look forward to playing them. But now I understand why Return
to Zork should be permanently placed in the El Obscuro File.

Final
Grade: D

If you liked Return to Zork:
Watch: Mom
and Dad Save the World
Read: Anything, rather than play
this game
Play: Zork (if you dare)

System
Requirements:
IBM PC 486SX or faster
4 MB RAM
10 MB hard drive
space available
MS-DOS 5.0
2X CD-ROM drive