Just (Free) Adventures
Shadow of the Lost Citadel

Developer/Publisher:
Salsa Shark Studios

Download Size: 3.9 MB (Free Version)

By Adam Rodman

Hi.
I’m Adam and I’ll be doing your Just (Free) Adventure for the night. Where’s Audrey,
you ask? Well, I’m not going to tell you, because I’m the writer and I’m in charge.
I control the vertical. I control the horizontal. I can make your monitor pincushion
or become fat and bubbly. To prove my control over your computer, will you please
adjust your monitor settings. I’ll wait.

Okay, got it? Good. So you
see, I am in control now! And on to the point. This really isn’t a Just (Free)
Adventure. In fact, it’s more of a Just (Sorta) (Free) Action/Adventure/RPG. However,
I doubt that Randy’ll make a new column just for games in the Just (Sorta) (Free)
Action/Adventure/RPG column, so please bear with me. And enjoy!

Ah,
remember the good ol’ days of the Atari? We’d all gather around the television
in the living room, turn on the record player, and guide frogs across roads (this
was after the males had killed and prepared the mammoth for dinner and after the
communal fire had been built). Nope? Me neither. I’ve never been a really big
Atari person. I mean, I’ve played Frogger, Asteroids, Donkey Kong, and
the rest, but I’ve never really “done” it. You know, I smoked it but
didn’t inhale? That said and done (said at least), I’m probably not the most qualified
individual to do a review of Shadow of the Lost Citadel, a remake of the
classic Vectrex game Dark Tower. But we can all still appreciate the Sistine
Chapel, even though Michelangelo painted it years ago, right?

Well …
maybe. Shadow of the Lost Citadel could be called a primitive version of
Tomb Raider. Sans the short shorts and tight shirts, of course. The main
view of the game is played in third person, looking from behind your character
(a knight in shining armor). From time to time, you’ll encounter chests. On opening,
you may find moolah, an extra character, or, more often than not, a brigand to
fight. Here’s where my problem comes in. After I play an action game, my character
sort of looks like … well, let’s just say that you can see the wall through
his or her chest and/or head and/or reproductive organs. Fighting in Shadow
of the Lost Citadel is simply walking back and forth and hitting spacebar
to throw a fireball (which doesn’t make sense–the knight is carrying a sword,
why does he need a fireball?!). Simple enough in theory, but not so in real life.
The brigands do a Scooby Doo-ish effect, coming out a door on one side
of a hall, receding, and then coming out another on the other side of the hall
(that’s one of the great mysteries of Scooby Doo, that and the reason that
there’re always sandwiches lying around in haunted houses. I mean, come on guys,
they’re probably poisoned, or at least spoiled!).

The
graphics in Shadow of the Lost Citadel are considerably better than those
in the original Dark Tower [insert sarcastic comment about Atari graphics here].
I’d say that they’re on par with, perhaps Duke Nukem 3D (but calm down
guys, there’re no strippers). The sound effects are practically nonexistent, but
they’re appropriate and well-done (how I love to hear my character die for the
fifth time in a row). The story’s also almost not there, something about evil
people, a locked citadel, and … ah, it’s just an excuse to kill things.

Story:
D
Graphics: B-
Music/Sound Effects: B-

Shadow of the Lost Citadel
isn’t a bad game: it merely appeals to a limited audience. If you love Atari
games and routinely smash other console systems, Shadow of the Lost Citadel
will probably make you glad you bought a PC. If an Atari doesn’t make you
start salivating, I wouldn’t suggest playing this.

Final Grade: C-