Just Adventure Presents: 2000—The Year in Review
We
always like to do things a little differently at Just Adventure because … well,
because we are all just a little off-kilter. If you’re here looking for the typical
“Best/Worst of the Year” article, then you have come to the wrong place.
If you have instead come looking for nonsensical awards created within our own
warped imaginations, then strap yourself in, for away we go …
Randy
Sluganski
Randy is the co-editor/owner of Just
Adventure. He has appeared on television and radio promoting Just Adventure and
adventure games and recently returned from a visit to Cryo Networks in Paris.
He is often referred to as the Harrison Ford of adventure gaming, but those who
have actually met him say the resemblance tilts more towards Quasimodo.
The
“Their Name Says It All” Award—Half-Price Hosting. Our ex-server.
They lived up to their name—their server was only up half the time.
The
“Stick That Finger Far Enough up Your Nose and You Might Find Gold”
Award—To Mattel for once again rereleasing Myst, this time as
RealMyst. This game has undergone more face lifts than Phyllis Diller.
The
“I Know You Are, but What Am I” Award—To Dreamcatcher for taking
such wonderful titles like Louvre and Pompeii and changing them
to such insipid, generic nonsense like The Messenger and Timescape in
a belief that American gamers wouldn’t purchase games with historical-sounding
titles. The sad part is that they are probably right.
The “We’ve
Put a Curse on Your Hard Drive” Award—Gathering of Developers for
the Blair Witch Trilogy. Most reviewers spent so much time kvetching about trifling
minutiae that they missed the main point—the games were fun (well, except
for the mazes in Part 1).
The “Only Game I Would Play Again from
Start to Finish” Award—Funcom’s The Longest Journey, but
only if I could bypass some of the lengthy dialogues.
The “Who Cut
the Cheese” Marketing Award—Funcom, for their decision to use Tri-Synergy
as their North American distributor, thereby dooming a great game to anonymity.
The sad part is that they had opportunity to sign with a major distributor and
thus be guaranteed distribution at nationally known retail outlets and instead
opted to go it on their own. Though I privately understand their reasoning, I
still think they made a mistake. Runner-up: Take 2 for any game they distribute.
The sales figures for The Devil Inside and Martian Gothic are abysmal.
Their staff just doesn’t have a clue.
The “Don’t Leave Any Skid
Marks on Your Way Out” Award—To me from Ray Ivey after staying with
him in his Hollywood apartment for three days during the E3.
The “Our
Mothers Bought 10 Copies Apiece” Award—The amazing sales figures
for The Crystal Key (140,000 copies sold) and Beyond Atlantis (100,000
copies sold). By gaining support from webzines like Just Adventure, Dreamcatcher
has built an audience from the ground up. Let’s hope they don’t let success go
to their heads. It is a lot easier to lose your core support than it is to rebuild
that foundation.
The “I Wouldn’t Have Believed it Unless I Saw
it with My Own Four Eyes” Award—Anyone else would be excited at
seeing firsthand the Eiffel Tower or Notre Dame; me, I still can’t get out of
my mind the Pekinese sitting between its owners eating from a dinner plate at
a four-star restaurant in France.
The “We Came in First at the
Hitler School of Charm” Award—LucasArts Marketing and PR Departments—their
motto: If you don’t plan on kissing our ass, then don’t bother us. “Ve don’t
care if you are sick of buggy Star Wars and Monkey Island games!
Ve vill make vhat ve vant, not vhat the customer vants!” Second place is
easily captured by Simon & Schuster. Rude, ignorant, and nonresponsive would
be an improvement for their PR department.
The “Adventure Game I
Would Never, Ever Play Again Even If You Promised Me an Evening of Unrequited
Love with Pamela Anderson Lee” Award—The New Adventures of the
Time Machine—too bad H.G. Wales [sic] couldn’t go back in time and convince
the developers of this turkey to change careers. Runner-up: Egypt 2. Any
game in which one of the puzzles is to find a cure for diarrhea makes me want
to run … in the opposite direction.
The “Industry Professionals
I Would Have Dinner with Any Time” Award—Guillaume Fondaumiere,
the founder of Arxel Tribe, will be the talk of the industry by the end of this
year. Plus he’s a great guy to have drinks with in a dark Paris bar in the middle
of the night. Stefano Gualeni—Someday Stefano’s masterpiece, Tony Tough
and the Night of Roasted Moths, will be distributed in North America and adventure
gamers will find out what I already know—this guy is a comedic genius.
The
“Public Relations People I Would Let Lick from My Ice Cream Cone” Award—The
lovely and talented Annette Bechamp of Dreamcatcher. Her enthusiasm and dedication
have been key to Dreamcatcher’s steady growth. She would be a shining star at
any company smart enough to employ her. Alicia Kim of Sega. Most PR people at
large companies don’t even remember your website, much less your name. Alicia
is one of those rare individuals who not only appreciates Just Adventure’s efforts
on behalf of the genre, but who also recommends games for review.
The
“Amelia Earheart/Jimmy Hoffa” Award—Siggi Kogl and The Real
Neverending Story—this game has become the stuff of apocrypha.
The
“Your Check Is in the Mail” Award—The Just Adventure staff
for their devotion and hard work. We are slowly taking over the world, guys and
gals, it is just a matter of time.
Jenny Guenther
Jen
is the other co-editor/owner of JA and keeps us updated on a daily basis. She
should get an award of her own for being the only staff member who has to put
up with Randy on a daily basis. Jen recently returned from a Las Vegas trade show
where she hooked up with Alan McDonald of Playing Games. One now wonders if Jen
is still happily married. [Note from Jen: Yes, I’m still married, but to a different
guy … Alan and I got hitched by an Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas.]
I
only did a couple of important things this year, important things related to adventure
games, that is. The first was starting (with the always-lovely Darcy Danielson)
the JA
Forum, our very own bulletin board, which has sometimes been a trial but mostly
a delight. It’s fun to read everyone’s opinions about adventure gaming and life
in general. And the second important thing was trying to expand my horizons by
moving into console gaming. So far I have not had much success there, though.
I have started three games, Omikron, Shenmue, and Chrono Cross, and
not finished any of them, but I will keep plugging away. These games are really
long! And now, without further ado, I present my awards for the year in adventure
gaming.
The “You Suck” Award for Blowing Us Off Once Too Often
goes to Mattel Interactive’s PR guy for Myst 3, who leaves behind a
trail of broken promises and broken hearts.
The “Hot Diggity Dog
Diggity Oh What You Do to Me” Award goes to Alan McDonald of Playing
Games Interactive. Not only does he have the best little shop on the Internet
but he’s a hottie.
The “I Don’t Think This Counts Since the Game
Won’t Be Out Until Next Year” Award for Best Adventure Game goes to Stupid
Invaders. I laughed until I peed, and it was beautifully put together as well.
The
“Okay, This One Will Count for Sure but It Makes Me Just One of the Pack”
Award for Best Adventure Game goes to The Longest Journey. No laughter
here, just total immersion into another world (or two).
The “You
Rock My World” Award goes to Alan McDonald … hmm, looks like he might
sweep all of the truly important prizes this year.
The “This Has
No Bearing on the Year 2000 So Why am I Including It Here? Pure Filler, of Course!”
Award for worst adventure game of all time goes to Koala Lumpur, an
abomination even among abominations … wait a second, does that make it good?
That’s not what I meant!
The “It’s a Good Thing” Award for
my favorite poster on the JA Forum goes to Kay Thomas, who is contentious with
grace, much like her (and everyone else’s, of course) role model, Martha Stewart.
The
“Quit Stinkin’ Up the Joint” Award for worst adventure game of 2000
goes to … hmm, I didn’t play any really horrible games this year. Never mind.
The
“Hard Candy Shell with the Creamy Center” Award for making me quiver
goes to, you guessed it, Alan McDonald.
The “Bite Me” Award
on general principle goes to Randy Sluganski yet again.
Ray
Ivey
Ray is our purveyor of all things adventure.
Always open to experience new genres, he has developed a real knack for gaming.
Ray has appeared on numerous game shows and also writes movie reviews. His honesty
is refreshing in an industry full of hypocrites.
The
Oops, Norway Must Not Have Gotten the Memo That Adventure Games Were Dead Award
to the magnificent The Longest Journey, a game that would make the
genre proud in any year. The scope and ambition of the game is nothing short of
inspiring. It’s full of views that literally pushed me back in my computer chair.
It’s got a story worthy of a first-rate science fiction/fantasy novel. It’s not
even worth having a conversation about what’s the best adventure of the year.
No other adventure released in 2000 even comes close.
Greatest Nonadventure:
To Warren Spector and Ion Storm’s Deus Ex. I love this game for two
reasons: First, because it’s just such a great game, an indecently entertaining
collision of System Shock 2, Thief, and Half-Life, and second, because
it represents what I hope is the future of computer gaming. Deus Ex combines
the best of at least three different genres: First-Person Real-Time-Rendered 3D
Shooter, Role-Playing, and Adventure. It represents convergence in the best sense
of the word. The result is a type of game that truly listens to the player, a
game that tailors itself to the player’s individual style. You and ten of your
friends could play this game, and you’d each have experiences so different they
would hardly be recognizable as being from the same game. This kind of freedom
spoils you for more old-fashioned games that straitjacket you into rigid, inflexible
puzzle-solving. Bring on the sequel!
The Sorry, They Can’t All Be Gems
Award to Michael Crichton, who took one of his worst books and turned it into
a game that drew unanimous boos from critics and players alike. Evidently, the
only Timeline worth mentioning was the one it took to play this lame game.
The
Please, for the Love of God, Consider Another Line of Work Award to whoever
is coming up with the awful new game titles at DreamCatcher. We love you, DreamCatcher,
and we even understand that marketing in North America is not the same as marketing
in Provence, but still …
The I Know You’re French and Stuff, but
Aren’t Even French Games Supposed to Be Fun? Award to the Cryo cretins who
gave us not one but two of the worst “adventures” I’ve ever had the
misfortune to try to play, Time Machine and The Odyssey. I mean,
Pompeii was boring, but these two games made me want to fly over France
while pelting the countryside with … Please take our word for it, Cryo, it’s
time to scratch this game engine and go back to Le Drawing Board.
Best
Game Studio Award easily goes to Index, for giving us (in one year!) the scintillating
Louvre, the fascinating Paris 1313, and the elegantly creepy Dracula
Resurrection.
Best Game to Infect Newbies with the Adventure Game
Virus is a slam-dunk for Dracula Resurrection. This gorgeous, steadfastly
traditional, short, easy game is a perfect tool to use to lure innocents into
our insidious computer gaming lifestyle!
Best Sequel Award. No contest
whatsoever: Diablo II. The talented designers at Blizzard North took a
superb game and made it even better. While playing this game, you can actually
sense the hard work, pride, and craftsmanship that went into building it.
The
My Hero Award to James Evans, for his adorable Lozenge
and Hampshire online adventure games.
Cindy
Kyser Morgan
Cindy is the Lara Croft of the Just
Adventure staff. Ready to straddle her motorcycle at a moment’s notice, she is
just as adventurous on the information highway. Besides maintaining our popular
Eye on Adventure column, Cindy also has recently begun reviewing adventure games
for Computer Gaming Magazine and Cdmag.com.
The
Best Game of 2000—Without any reservations, this goes to The Longest
Journey. Kudos to Funcom for creating an adventure so wonderful that even
PC Gamer gave it high praise. And special thanks to Ragnar Tornquist for
confirming that this genre is at its finest when artistic vision and gifted storytelling
come together.
My Worst Gaming Experience—The New Adventures
of the Time Machine has (the real) H.G. Wells rolling in his grave, for sure.
The coup de grace in this game occurs when you finish a randomized, bug-ridden
sound puzzle only to have someone jump out and kill you (thus ending the game
before you can save). I’m thinking that aversion therapy is not the best foundation
for game design.
My Best Gaming-Related Experience—The 2000
E3 show, where I got to spend a few days getting to know Randy, Jenny, and Ray
Ivey (in person). I also got to meet a number of other writers, and it is great
to now have faces to go with the bylines. My husband has already been put on notice
that I do not plan on missing it in 2001 😉
The Game That Cost
Me the Most Sleep—Planescape: Torment continues to be the most
engrossing game I have encountered since I was hooked on Asheron’s Call in
1999. This is the most amazing single-player RPG I have ever played in terms of
story, scenery, and originality. I can’t recommend it enough and, as an older
title, you’ll never get such value for your money!
The Genre with the
Most Impact—Despite a reduction in “pure” adventure titles,
the need for a good story continues to be recognized by those who create action
and RPG titles. Perhaps the legacy of the adventure genre includes broadening
the horizons for game development in general.
The Best Spam There Is—Hands
down, this goes to Compuexpert
for their “48-Hour Madness” email notifications. Despite my best intentions
not to increase my game inventory, I just can’t resist the kind of bargains they
offer—especially when adventure greats are often included as “freebies.”
The
Game I Am Most Looking Forward to Getting My Hands on in 2001—The PC
version of In Cold Blood from Revolution Software. After seeing a demo
at E3 by Charles Cecil (the creative force behind the Broken Sword games)
and hearing his perspective, I’ve been looking forward to it ever since.
Harriet
Gurganus
Besides updating Just Adventure’s Upcoming
Releases column, Harriet also writes the best damn adventure game previews on
the Internet. Her tenaciousness has earned her the respect and friendship of many
an industry professional.
I have not played nearly enough
games in 2000 but I have promised myself that 2001 will be much better. And heaven
knows, I have enough games to choose from. There is no shortage in my game cabinet.
I had a quiet and private Christmas moment (or two) of my own. I went wild with
my MasterCard and bought a lot of the games that I had planned to buy all year.
And my stack grows and grows. My game stack will probably outlive me.
My
oldest son gave me a copy of The Longest Journey for Christmas. Originally,
I borrowed it from Jenny, but I only played about 10 percent of the game.
Beautiful, gorgeous, lovely—but I was not in the mood for soooo much dialogue.
So the Christmas package was perfect and I can try it again later.
My husband
gave me a much-anticipated copy of Alice “in wild and crazy land.”
I am dying to try it, but my hand/eye coordination stinks. Orion said “buy
the hint book—that will help you,” so I did. Thanks, Jim. Soon I must
meet the Mad Hatter and the March Hare up close and personal.
My husband
gave me game as a pre-Christmas gift Pharaoh. Joe knows my deeply hidden
secret. Hush, now don’t you tell … on occasion I am a “sneaky” strategy
game player. Like when my mind really needs a rest. I love to design and build
houses in the Sim games, but I hate to run the cities. I let those crash and burn
and just build another. I run a mean hospital in Theme Hospital. And I
have organized the world in Civilization. And now I get to be the Pharaoh
in Pharaoh. Have you seen it yet? When you build a house, 60,000 little
carpenters (slight exaggeration) run out and do the job for you. Neat-o! And after
you build a few houses, you must build firehouses—or your houses will
burn to cinders. I have burned quite a few houses so far.
My hot, hot game
for 2000 was Dracula: Resurrection. Loved every minute of it. The facial
close-ups are riveting. Meet Darco on a cold and windy night and your hair will
stand on end. And some of the 3D scenes are spectacular. I only had one major
game problem, and it was in the Count’s bedroom. Wouldn’t you know he wasn’t there.
Darn! Soon Dracula: The Last Sanctuary will be my reality. Can’t wait!
I
have installed my copy of Riddle of the Sphinx and plan to celebrate the
New Year, 2001, inside the marvelous creations of Egypt. I hope that I won’t become
lost in a bug-infested, damp chamber. But just in case, I will take my bread crumbs.
They worked for Hansel and Gretel, didn’t they?
Darcy
Danielson
Darcy is our resident Mac expert (no
one else wanted the job) and also maintains the JA
Forum (a job one would have to be crazy to take). She is loud, brash and outspoken—all
necessary qualities to work at Just Adventure.
The year
2000 brought more adventure games to the player, and trickle-down theory-wise,
more to the Mac adventure gamer, an okay thing by me. Here’s best of the year
2000, from the Mac perspective.
Best Mac Adventure Game of the Year:
Traitor’s Gate, hands down. A crisp, clever design and high production
values make this a classic keeper.
Best Renegade Indie Title: Ferazel’s
Wand, from the Mac-only shareware publishing house Ambrosia Software. More
of a + than a straight adventure, this side-scroller captivated with high-quality
graphics and an extremely clever design.
Best False Start: Macplay.
United Developers licenced the venerable Macplay brand from Interplay and immediately
did … nothing.
Best Company Snub to the Mac Adventure Gamer: No,
it’s not LucasArts this year, so sit back down. The award goes to Rogue Entertainment
for publishing American McGee’s Alice and virtually ignoring the Mac market,
despite the incredibly portable Quake 3: Arena engine. Runner-up: The release
of a PC-only RealMyst. No kiss, no towel.
Best Mac-Huggin’ Publisher:
Who else? Dreamcatcher gave us Traitor’s Gate, The Legend of Lotus Spring,
Riddle of the Sphinx … even Pompeii with a funny name. They also
get the award for best corporate maneuvering, for putting themselves under the
Cryo umbrella. I’ll take one giant pile of people working to get adventure games
published rather than two smaller ones any day.
Best Unfounded Rumor:
That Myst III would actually ship in the year 2000.
Adam
Rodman
Adam has been with Just Adventure since
the beginning, and even though he is one of our younger staff members, he is also
our resident expert on the classic Sierra games.
Most
Disappointing: Escape from Monkey Island wasn’t a truly horrible game
(though it was pretty darn bad). But I, and just about every other LucasArts adventure
fan, had lost gallons of body fluids drooling over anticipation for this product,
and I expected something better than this unfunny and tedious scurvy dog of a
game. Though I hate to say it, perhaps it’s time for LucasArts to end the Monkey
Island series’ suffering and concentrate on what we all want: Day of the
Tentacle 2.
Worst Movie Tie-In: Blair Witch 1: Rustin Parr
has exactly one advantage over the movie Blair Witch—it didn’t
make me motion sick. As our esteemed and extremely talented editor Randy Sluganski
(I’m scoring points upstairs) said, the game should have been titled, “Blair
Witch Volume 1: Lost in the Woods.” So if you love dark forest mazes, play
this game.
Best Action/Adventure Title: Deus Ex can be summed
up in one word: “Wow.” I normally hate action games (mainly because
I stink at ’em and usually have my character end up looking like Swiss cheese),
but I loved Deus Ex. A great plot combined with the ability to solve puzzles
in numerous ways (some not involving killing things) make this the best action
game for an adventure gamer since … well, since System Shock.
Matthew
Desmond
Matthew is our newest, and youngest, staff
member, but you would not know it from his excellent writing style. Already a
hero among his schoolmates, Matthew is a go-getter who has an eye toward a future
in law enforcement.
The “Beam Me Up Scotty”
Award—Activision and Raven for their incredible work on Star Trek
Voyager: Elite Force.
Most Dedicated Public Relations Crew: Sierra.
The
“Shake It Baby” Award: Deus Ex’s soundtrack.
