Articles

GameGuy:
The “Carlyle Holiday” Edition
By Mark H. Walker

I yelled my butt off when
Notre Dame’s Carlyle Holiday completed his first pass for a
touchdown last Saturday. Not only was it proof positive that God is
indeed a Catholic, but the drama, excitement, and sheer athleticism
of the instant sent a jubilant jolt through my body.

To believe David Coursey
–the Executive Editor, of CNET’s AnchorDesk– future Tony
Hawkers, and Unreal Tournament masters, will soon provide
me that same jolt. Coursey claims that future game fans will avidly
watch gamers play on ESPN, ABC, FOX, or whatever. He feels the intersection
of next-generation consoles’ Internet capability and massive
software sales figures will lead to a proliferation of online play,
that in turn will lead to professional leagues, that in turn will
lead to spectating.

I doubt it.

No twitch meister will
ever captivate the American heart like Bobby Bonds, Emmitt Smith,
or Jeff Gordon. On the diamond, field, or track these men are rare
athletes –sacrificing heart, limb, and even life. A few mouse clicks
can’t compare. Sorry. I love playing, but watching? I don’t
think so.

How Much is
Enough?
I can’t wait till the non-gaming press gets hold of this one…
A twenty-four year old Korean dies after gaming 86 straight hours.
A young Taiwanese man does the same after 32 hours in an Internet
café. No mistake… this is sad stuff, and my heart goes
out to all that knew them. But the incidents surface two points. Point
one… it doesn’t seem likely that extensive gaming can
kill someone. If it could, every strategy guide author I know would
be dead. Eighty-six hours straight gaming? That’s nothing when
you have to work your way through Baldur’s Gate and
write a 50,000 word book in one week. There must have been something
else at work here… too much coffee, too much beer, too much
something.

Point two… why play
a game 86 straight hours? Folks lean close… TURN OFF THOSE FREAKING
COMPUTERS! The solution to life doesn’t lie in the hills and
dales of Everquest. Shut down that CPU, call up a friend,
and go grab a beer.

Huzzah Wal-Mart!
So, it looks like Wal-Mart, Toys-R-Us, and KB Toys will pass on BMX
XXX. That’s good news –good news on two fronts. Front
number one… BMX XXX isn’t an “M”
title. The same footage loaded into the game would pop an “R”
on a movie. It ought to be the same with the game. Since there isn’t
an “R” rated game section at Wal-Mart they don’t
need to carry the game.

Front number two…
I don’t have a problem with porn. As a young naval officer I
hit most of the skin bars in Philly and Boston. But if you are going
to make porn, make porn. Do it up right and label it appropriately.
If you are going to make a game, make a game… don’t slide
in a couple of breasts to pry money from the lonely 13-year old boys
on the block. In short, Acclaim… grow up.

© Mark H.
Walker, LLC 2002
Mark H. Walker is a veteran interactive entertainment journalist who
has written over 40 books and designs games including his soon to
be released Lock ‘n Load.