Articles

E3 2006 THANKS FOR THE MAMMARIES by Randy Sluganski

E3 2006 and a new edict has been enforced – no more booth babes
– and the repercussions were swift. No more gawking teenage boys
walking into walls, no more nearly nude women surrounded by contingents
of Asian men, their cameras clicking at the speed of light; no more
middle-aged men perfecting the art of sideways eyeball voyeurism
while simultaneously maintaining a conversation.

But we still have our memories, our memories of mammaries, so thank
you E3, thanks for the mammaries.

Every May in the city
of Los Angeles, the video gaming community gathers together to
celebrate itself, to pat each other on the butt
and say “Job well done,” to whine about the constant
attacks from politicians, while in the background larger than life
plasma screens display a video game opponent’s brain being
blown from his head in slow motion from six different angles.

But this is our story, the story of how the adventure gaming community
gets very little respect, yet every year still seems to hold its
head high and rise above the onslaught of violent images, the indifference
from the large websites and magazines and the search in every nook
and cranny for adventure games hid behind closed doors.

While the wussie boys
– oops typo, my bad. That should have read intrepid reporters –
from Gamespot, PC Gamer, et al get everything handed to them on
a
silver platter – and they do, for example, if you are in the middle
of an interview or game
demonstration and G4 or Gamespot arrives with their cameras, apologies are
made as you are shepherded from the room as if you never existed – adventure
gamers such as myself attend clandestine meetings in stairwells and coffee
shops with developers and publishers who can’t afford the outrageous
price of a booth at the E3.

But as I was saying, the
staffs at the large sites and magazines don’t have a clue on how to find a real story or undiscovered
gem of a game at the E3, they not so much reporters as they are parrots
mimicking the p.r. bullcrap they are fed while they are being plied
with free drinks and food. They are jaded individuals who complain
about every inconvenience – real or imagined – even though
they are granted access to special places and some of the most interesting
individuals in the world. Every year at the E3 there is that one
moment when you overhear a snippet of an unbelievable conversation
while on your way to an appointment and this year was no different
for as I passed two reporters from a large site (that I won’t
name), I heard the following, “I’ll be back in about
an hour, I have to go interview that Metal Gear m**********r.”

NEXT STOP, THE TWILIGHT ZONE

When you visit companies
that are known for publishing or developing adventure games, you
are welcomed with open arms, hugs and even kisses
from the charming French women. But when you visit large mainstream
companies that publish maybe one ‘big-name’ adventure
game every year or two, you are a bug on their windshield, someone
to be handed down to the lowest person on the p.r. totem pole. So
it was that I arrived at THQ for an appointment with Charles Cecil,
the founder of Revolution and the father of the acclaimed Broken
Sword series.

“Excuse me, I’m Randy Sluganski from Just Adventure
and I have a 5pm appointment with Charles Cecil.” I hand over
my business card.

“Who?”

“Charles Cecil.” All
five women behind the desk look at each other and shake their heads.
One of them enters the large
room behind the desk and reappears a few minutes later after questioning
everyone in the room.

“I’m sorry
sir, but no one here knows anybody with that name.”

“Well, your E3 press kit has a description and screenshots
of his new Broken Sword Angel of Death game that THQ is publishing.” I
show them the game description, all five again shake their heads.

Finally, realizing that
I’m not going away, a light bulb goes
off above the head of one of the woman as she has an epiphany and
remembers that THQ also has meeting rooms upstairs. She makes a phone
call and then proudly announces that, “There is a Charles Cecil
upstairs in room 309.” I thank her and slink away, wondering
if maybe I should have instead asked for that “Broken
Sword m*********r.” (as a side note, I never did make my meeting
with Charles as by this time, some health problems had resurfaced
and I instead returned to my hotel)

Let’s jump ahead
to the next day and another appointment with Charles Cecil, this
time at 3:30pm. Again, by this time I am too
tired to walk the distance to the THQ booth so instead, my colleague
Ray Ivey keeps the appointment. At 3:31 my cell phone rings:

“Randy, its Ray. I’m
at the THQ booth and everyone here says that they have never heard
of Charles Cecil.”

Keep in mind that the people manning the front desk are most likely
the same crew that had been there yesterday. Over the noise, I scream
into my phone:

“Ray, tell them to call room 309 and ask if Charles Cecil
is there.” I can hear Ray pleading over-and-over, please call
room 309, my editor says that Charles is probably there.” Finally,
someone has the common sense to listen to Ray’s request and
he is on his way to room 309.

But this is not an isolated
incident for every single year at the E3 there is always one big
company that takes a chance on publishing
an adventure game and every single year without fail, no one at the
front desk has ever heard of the developer or the game and invariably,
in response to my inquiries – usually a few months after the
game has been published – the company will divulge that sales
were flat for their adventure experiment.

The larger companies know
nothing about the adventure community, even less about adventure
game demographics, hell, some of them have
never even heard of Just Adventure. In other words, they do not have
the slightest clue how to market their product and then blame low
sales on consumer indifference. Just make a quick list of some of
the more well-known adventure developers and then take note of how
many have had their games published by numerous different publishers.
For example, Indigo Prophecy was one of the most critically acclaimed
games of 2005, yet Quantic Dream, the developers, still do not have
a publisher for their next project Heavy Rain as Indigo Prophecy did not meet Atari’s sales expectations. Once again, the problem
is not the games or the developers.

OUR HOT NEW TREND IS 500 YEARS OLD

I can’t even remember
how many different developers told me, with actual excitement in
their voices, that they were planning on
incorporating something biblical in their game that related to Leonardo
Da Vinci, or a puzzle that involved one of Da Vinci’s inventions
or a reference to Da Vinci. I honestly would not be surprised if
Da Vinci was a hidden character in Madden ’08. The guy’s been
dead for over 500 years and he’s the hottest new trend in gaming.

BECAUSE WE DON’T SUPPORT THOSE WHO DON’T SUPPORT
THE ADVENTURE COMMUNITY

My response to the question
I was asked most at the E3 which was, “Why
hasn’t Just Adventure posted a review of Dreamfall?”

It’s been a reoccurring
problem in the adventure community for some time now, that when
one of who we consider “our own” makes
it big, they become blinded by the fame accorded them and forget
about the “little people” that provided the initial grass
roots support. So it is and so it shall probably ever be, but life
is a two way street and we are not under any obligation to continue
to support those with short memories.

THE ONE THING I WISH ANYONE HAD SAID TO ME AT THE E3

“Damn boy, you’re
much better looking in person than that picture on your site.”

HOW LOWE CAN YOU GO?

Well, spank my butt and
call me Sally, if it isn’t Al Lowe,
he of Leisure Suit Larry fame! Our meeting took place in a beer garden – which
somehow seemed appropriate – where Al and his partner, industry
veteran Ken Wegrzyn, spilled the beans about their new company iBase
Entertainment and their first game currently in development, Sam
Suede: Undercover Exposure.

It’s obvious that Ken is the brains behind the project, while
Al is the pretty face meant to sell games (much like my position
at Just Adventure). My first question to Al was why he had not initially
invited Just Adventure to his press conference announcing his new
company and his honest response was, “I was embarrassed to
contact you since Sam Suede’s not an adventure game.” Well
Al, as I told you at the E3, the adventure community will love you
no matter what you do (in a non-Brokeback Mountain sort of way, of
course).

So what is Sam
Suede?
Well, it’s being promoted as an action-comedy,
a little bit platformer, a little bit action, a little bit mystery.
It has been in production for some time and there is a trailer and
also some screenshots available and we’ll soon have a preview
on Just Adventure.

As I was leaving, I grabbed
the opportunity to ask Leisure Suit Larry, the man who put the ‘bare ass’ in embarrassment,
his thoughts on the absence of booth babes at this year’s E3.
His response, “Just like Al Lowe, the booth babes will be back!”

WHY THE FRENCH HATE AMERICANS

My last meeting before
I left the E3 was not only memorable, but was also the most unforgettable
meeting I’ve ever been to in
my ten years of attending the E3.

Late in the day, I had
the good fortune to find the French Pavilion – a
makeshift meeting room for – among others – Kheops Studio,
White Birds & Quantic Dream; in other words, heaven for the
adventure gamer.

After a few scheduled meetings, I noticed Benoit Hozjan of Kheops
Studio in a cubicle in the back of the room. After apologizing, for
missing a meeting the day before (as the French Pavilion was in a
new location this year), I asked if he could make some time for me,
which he graciously agreed to do even though he had another meeting
scheduled with Laura McDonald of Adventure Gamers in about ten minutes.

Seated at a small table
in front of a laptop, Benoit and I were soon joined by Ray Ivey,
Annette Bechamp of Dreamcatcher, Laura MacDonald
and the developer of Destinies, Jan Kavan. We were all seated around
Benoit in the crowded booth – except for Ray who was standing – treated
to previews of Secrets of Da Vinci and Safecracker. As the laughter
and noise in our booth reached a crescendo, IT happened; the incident
that was to make us the most unwelcome visitors in the French Pavilion
for years to come.

Ray, cramped for room,
leaned against the wall to his right – not realizing that it was
only a temporary wall on wheels – and
as the wall fell, it created a domino effect knocking over all of
the other walls in the French Pavilion in slow motion trapping the
occupants of each cubicle beneath the collapsed walls.

Now, I’ve never heard anyone scream in fear in French before
but, not surprisingly, it sounded almost similar to someone screaming
in English. Sort of a high-pitched ‘eeeeek’!

Luckily, no one was hurt,
and even though I don’t understand
French, I do know a swear word when I hear one regardless of the
language. And as we slunk away from the French Pavilion, I couldn’t
help but think that next year, well, next year they’ll probably
lock the door to the pavilion when they see Just Adventure approaching.

HOW COME YOUSE JAG-OFFS DON’T TALK LIKE ME?

Every year at the E3 I
meet with people from France, Turkey, Greece, Italy, Germany and
numerous other countries and every year these
people apologize to me for their ‘bad English’ when,
in fact, I should be apologizing to them for not knowing one word
of their respective languages.

This year I met someone
who shocked me by asking if I was from Pittsburgh. Suspecting I
was maybe being kidded, I asked how he knew. His reply, “I
recognize the accent, I’m from Pittsburgh too you jag-off.” (This
is a joke that only people from Pittsburgh will find funny)

IS IT PROPER ETIQUETTE TO ANSWER THE PHONE WHILE FLUSHING?

The fancy hotel room I
stayed in had a phone on the wall next to the toilet. Why would
anyone want a phone next to their toilet? I’ve
never yet sat down on the toilet and thought, ‘Boy, I wish
there was a phone on the wall so I could call so-and-so.” For
that matter, would you even want to take a call from someone who
was sitting on the toilet? Probably the phone is there so you can
call the front desk if the toilet paper roll is empty. Maybe I should
have called that Metal Gear m**********r and interviewed him from
the toilet.

THE BEST OF THE REST

Ray Ivey’s E3 report
will cover most of the adventure games at the show, but there were
a few companies I met with privately:

If I were to ask what
company had the most adventure games on display at this year’s E3, what would be your reply? Most would respond
Dreamcatcher or dtp? But actually Akella, a Russian company, had
the largest selection of adventure games. The two most notable were
the beautiful Dead Mountaineer’s Hotel and Tanita Plasticine
Dream, which is reminiscent of the classic Neverhood.

Jan Kavan and Laura MacDonald presented a sneak preview of Destinies,
a wonderful looking game that should have no problems finding a publisher.

Team Tarsier was floating
around with Metronome, I personally think Metronome is revolutionary
in its approach to the genre and we’ll
have some screenshots and trailers soon.

German based dtp/Anaconda had numerous intriguing adventure games including Overclocked,
Tony Tough 2 and Belief & Betrayal –
all of which we will soon preview, but I publicly wanted to thank
Claas Wolter for his time and attention. Not only is Claas the most
joyful person I’ve ever spent time with, but he also – much
like the staff of Dreamcatcher – is proud to admit his devotion to
the adventure genre.

I also stumbled across
Ankh 2 (the first Ankh will soon be published in North America
by Viva Media) and an unannounced game behind closed
doors that I’ve promised to not name, but I have a sinking feeling it will be disclosed soon.

TOMORROW:

Yes, we looked at some
games at the E3 and Ray Ivey will be here to tell you all about
the adventure game line-up. Plus, in the weeks
ahead, we’ll have lots of screenshots, previews and interviews
of the more than two dozen adventure games we saw at the E3.