TWINKLE TOES IVEY
Articles
TWINKLE TOES IVEY
August 1, 2003
This is not a review. It’s a confession.
Convergence. It’s one of those groovy hot-button words on the bleeding edge of electronics today. Take two previously unrelated features and throw them together. The result? More crunchy comsumer goodness: cell phones that take pictures, televisions that record programs, toasters that give massages.
I’ve always found most convergence ideas mildly irritating. I don’t have a pressing need to have my refrigerator polish my bowling ball, thank you, and while a cell phone that can take pictures is a slightly intriguing idea, it doesn’t keep me up at night.
However. This all changed recently while watching my favorite computer game television show, Tech TV’s “Extended Play” (now “X Play”). The show’s excellent host did a fascinating feature on the Dance Dance Revolution craze.
Always interested in a new type of gaming experience, I put my feet up on the coffee table, took a sip of Diet Coke, reached for another chocolate doughnut, and watched.
Dance Dance Revolution is a “rhythm game,” which in this case translates as “a game you can play with your feet.” Instead of your regular Playstation controller, you hook up this cunning little plastic Twister-esqe mat to your Playstation. All of the buttons on the controller are represented on the mat.
The essence of the game is simplicity itself. While listening to bad techno and neo-soul music, you watch the screen and stomp your feet where and when the game tells you to. You are scored according to how accurately your feet “read” the screen.
COME AND MEET THOSE DANCING FEET
Dance Dance Revolution, and its spin-offs and imitators, have been phenomenally successful in arcades. You can play the game solo or against a friend. The piece “Extended Play” piece interviewed lots of sweaty, slim young people who gushed enthusiastically about the game. At first I watched with sad resignation. A couple of E3s ago, I tried a Disney version of this kind of game and neatly humiliated my fat, old self in front of many appreciative industry onlookers. I haven’t thought much more about these types of games since.
And then the miracle happened. Host Adam Sessler interviewed a slightly chubby young man who beamed with radiant DDR enthusiasm. “How much weight have you lost playing DDR,” Adam asked. “So far,” the kid answered, “130 lbs.”
I froze, the sixth chocolate doughnut two inches from my face. Did that kid just say 130 pounds!?!?. I quickly finished the sixth doughnut and chased it down with a seventh to bolster my concentration. One hundred and thirty freakin’ pounds?!
In a flash it came to me. The planets had aligned. I was about to benefit from my very own form of convergence: electronic games meet exercise.
GOTTA DANCE
Grabbing a king-sized Snickers bar for energy, I dashed off to my local EBX boutique and demanded a sparkly new copy of “DDR Max” and (sold separately), one “beat pad,” (for that is the plastic Twister-like mat is called).
Giddily, I plugged in the mat and tossed the DVD into the Playstation. Like a good soldier, I went through the entire tutorial, which took about an hour.
And doubts I had about DDR being good exercise were erased when I attempted to drive downtown to deliver the three hour class I was teaching that night. I could barely move, and practically had to teach from a prone position on the floor. Mein Gott, I thought, if I’m this thrashed after the tutorial, I’ll be a sleek, golden god if I begin playing the game in earnest!
I MAY BE TOTALLY WRONG BUT I’M A DANCIN’ FOOL
The kewl thing about the game is that it saves your progress like any other game. So what I’m doing is playing it several times a week, and concentrating on trying to improve my scores. Now, I’m not actually saying that if a DDR talent scout was spying on my apartment that I might be the next arcade dance star, but I’m not doing badly for a middle-aged bohemoth.
So. Have I lost the weight yet? Am I now shopping at Structure instead of Gigantic & Tall? Are willowy youths pouncing on me wherever I go, initiating unfulfilling but wildly fun physical liaisons?
Okay, not yet. But check back with me; I’ll keep you posted!!
