Articles
|
by Randy Sluganski |
THE
STATE OF ADVENTURE GAMING – April 2003 |
SOMETHING WICKED THIS
WAY CAME
So it’s only been a short eight months since we last got together.
Last year at this time I was given two months to live and the adventure
genre appeared to also be down for the count. Now, I’m glad
to say that we’re both back stronger than ever so let’s
have some fun! A few of the following thoughts have been germinating
in my mind for a few months so they may seem dated, but I’m
just glad I can finally share them with you.
ADVENTURE: THE GENRE THAT DOES SELL
Click here for month-end
February, 2003 sales figures. The usual disclaimers apply – figures
are tabulated by PC Data and do not include online sales or sales
from some brick-and-mortar outlets
like Electronics Boutique that do not subscribe to the service. We
are currently working on tabulating lifetime sales figures and hope
to have those for you soon.
IT’S
THE SMALL DETIALS THAT MATTER MOST
From the back of the box
of Wanadoo’s European release of
The Mystery of the Mummy:
Five levels of the game are waiting for you with:
- A detialed
mansion in high quality 3D graphics
Maibee them spillchick wuz broked?
YOU SAY POTATO,
I SAY TOMATO
I love Dreamcatcher; not
only are they one of our favorite sponsors, but they are so much
like our extended family that I send their president – Rich
Wah Kahn – a father’s day card every year. So it is with heavy
heart that I subtly request the following: QUIT CHANGING THE NAMES
OF YOUR GAMES!
At one time it was fine
to change the name. Pompeii
to Timescape. No problem. Cydonia
to Lightbringer. Understandable. But to change the name
of Schizm
to The Mysterious Journey because one or two people out of the tens
of thousands
who purchased the game wrote in and complained that they couldn’t
pronounce the name of the game. Hey, I got news for you, if you can’t
pronounce Schizm then you should be playing Doom or Quake. But, keeping
in the spirit of Dreamcatcher being so consumer friendly, I would
like to humbly request the following changes:
Beyond Atlantis – I
have trouble with the word Atlantis. Sometimes I say Ack-lantis,
and sometimes I gag out Aargh-lantis. So for the
sake of simplicity I suggest changing the title to Past That
Big Puddle of Water.And how about Post
Mortem? How many burger-munching, illiterate
Americans will be able to pronounce Post
Mortem much
less know the meaning of the word? So how about changing the title
to – Dead Guy Cut Up. This title has death, it has gore and it
is comprised of all one syllable words and is a breeze to remember.
PS – please though,
change the name of Salammbo
before its release!
LOOK – THIS IS AN APRIL FOOL’S DAY JOKE!
|
Hot Each disciple will |
 Comes complete with Ninja-Messiah throwing nails and a Death-Killer Cross Pump action over-under shotgun. |
Asked why he would distort
the New Testament into a first-person-shooter, American nervously
twisted his knit cap in his hands and mumbled, “Hey
dude, the bible is already one of the most violent books ever written,
I’m just giving my peeps what they want.”
Right on brother, right on. This industry needs more visionaries
like you.
WHINE ME A RIVER – CHAPTER
1: IN WHICH I CONFESS MY SINS
Well, whaddya know! The
April 2003 issue of Computer Gaming World honored Syberia with
its Adventure Game of the Year award! Let’s
read it together shall we:
Well, whaddya know!
An adventure game of the year award! Contrary to the bleating
of certain
Internet whiners, we here at CGW actually
do like adventure games – a lot. But with most of the best
developers abandoning the genre in the last few years, the pickings
are might slim….
Internet whiners, hmmm,
whomever could they be referring to? Tap, tap, tap…..wait a minute…I resemble that remark. Yes,
that’s right, I admit for the world to read that I have indeed
sent whiney emails to CGW Editor-In-Chief Jeff Green. But whatever
could I find to whine about in CGW, a fine magazine that avows that
they ‘actually do like adventure games – a lot.’ Well,
how about this review of Arthur’s Knights II as written by
Arcadian Del Sol. Keep in mind, we are not claiming that Arthur’s
Knights II is a classic game, but we did have some reservations about
this review:
Fans of adventure
games have regularly written this magazine to protest our frequent
assessment
of the adventure genre as dead. “It
isn’t dead,” they cry, “Dreamcatcher has just released
three more adventures.” Okay, we give – no, the adventure
genre is technically not dead. But this kind of argument carries
about as much weight as “Nightclub acts aren’t dead!
Tony Danza has an act now and he emotes, sings, and tap dances!” Consider
Arthur’s Knights II: The Secret of Merlin the Tony Danza of
adventure games: it can do a passable softshoe to “Mr. Bojangles,” but
it‘s probably not worth the $20 cover charge.
Arthur’s Knights II is a visual treat whose graphics and cut-scenes
are ocasionally (sic – yes, that is correct, this finely edited
magazine has a misspelled word in the body of the review) stunning.
From the opening montage to the final frames, the artwork strives
to recreate the age of chivalry and mysticism, and the voice acting,
though suffering at times from amateur quality post-production, is
top-notch. “Americanized” British accents are surprisingly
painless, and even the adult-pretending-to-be-small-child voice is
refreshingly wince-free. Unfortunately, all of this is wrapped around
nothing more than a lethargic scavenger hunt pretending to be an
adventure game.
The genre,
almost by definition, will require a certain number of “go
here, fetch that” assignments. No matter the setting, the denizens
of adventure games all seem to suffer from short-term memory loss.
They spend so much time misplacing some of their world’s most
important items, it’s no wonder they haven’t the time
to spend looking for them. In most cases, mixed in among the scavenger
missions are a number of mind-bending riddles and doors sealed with
locks whose level of intricacy would stump Rube Goldberg on a good
day.
Arthur’s Knights II: The Secret of Merlin does offer a few
diversionary riddles, but they exist only as temporary distractions
from finding yet another missing object. So despite the game’s
tragically short length, it still manages to capture that “just
a little bit too long” feeling by the time you’ve crisscrossed
the map for yet another misplaced bauble.
Adventure games are
written and designed to test one’s creativity,
but this entrant displays very little of its own – kind of
like Who’s the Boss?
Now does anyone else besides
me think that a good portion of the above, instead of actually
reviewing the game, is nothing more than
a damnation of the entire genre? So I sent the review to the heads
of a few gaming companies and I asked, “Can you please comment
on the section I bolded? Why is it that magazine reviewers never
say about a racing game for example, “All you do is drive around
in circles on a track, how unoriginal” or about first-person-shooters, “Don’t
you think it strange that ammo and weapons are scattered everywhere
you turn?” or “For some reason health kits and pieces
of armor hidden in a cave in a role-playing-game is acceptable, but
misplaced items in an adventure game are not.”
Each company head who
responded – and I promised they would
remain anonymous- basically attributed the problem to a generation
of trigger-happy reviewers who damn any game that lacks cutting-edge
innovation and taxes the brain cells.
So what have I proven – that
without a doubt, I am a damn good whiner.
WHINE ME A RIVER – CHAPTER
2: WHAT’S
GOOD FOR THE GOOSE
A new Ziff-Davis gaming
magazine that seems to be nothing more than a marketing arm for
Electronics Boutique with the really groovy,
neato name of GMR (get it? GaMeR) recently featured an editorial
by one Mr. Jeff Green, Editor-In-Chief of GCW. Let’s listen
in shall we:
…Speaking of shutting up, I’m about ready to unleash
my trusty can of frail, geek-boy whup-ass on the next clown I hear
ranting about the supposed “failure” of The Sims Online.
Oh brother. This game sold “only” 90,000 copies in its
first few weeks – not bad by any standard, and pretty dang
great for a massively multiplayer subscription-based game.
Everyone keeps waiting
for the big breakout massively multiplayer hit, the thing that
casual gamers will play. But there’s nothing
casual at all about forking over $10 a month. And think of all your
clueless relatives who still barely know how to use e-mail or the
web. So keep it in perspective. This stuff takes time. And shut up
about The Sims being overexposed, too. Would you rather go back to
the Dark Ages of Deer Hunter? I didn’t think so.
I agree Jeff – keep it in perspective. So what’s my
point? Well, first of all, that’s some pretty damn good whining
about The Sims – a genre of games that Mr. Green seems to love,
much like I love adventure games and, in my eyes, you come off as – dare
I say it?! – a ‘Magazine Whiner.’
But then he claims that
90,000 copies sold is ‘not bad by
any standard.’ Now here is where it gets confusing because
in the above referenced Arthur’s Knights II review it was determined
that, no, the adventure genre is not dead, but it is Tony Danza.
Funny thing though, I have here these North American sales figures
that were recently released by Dreamcatcher:
Nancy Drew Series – 500,000
units sold
Crystal Key – 455,000 units sold
Traitor’s Gate – 245,000 units sold
Riddle of the Sphinx – 230,000 units sold
Dracula Resurrection – 170,000 units sold
Schizm – 150,000 units sold
So if adventure games
are Tony Danza, then I guess that makes The Sims Online – Urkel? But of course, I’m also sure that
CGW’s new argument will be that, “Just because a game
sells a lot of copies that doesn’t mean it is a quality product.” No,
it doesn’t, but what it does prove is that adventure games
sell “pretty dang great” especially when you consider
that they have a much smaller fanbase to draw from than The Sims.
Your magazine is sending mixed signals – ‘most of the
best developers have abandoned the genre.’ Who? Tim Schaeffer?
One person? And he’s what, a visionary and spokesperson for
the entire community of adventure developers? Jane Jensen is still
around, Charles Cecil, Benoit Sokal, Ragnar Tournquist, Jeff Tobler.
Who are you referring to – the handful of Sierra developers who had
already given us enough quality games to last a lifetime? They didn’t
abandon the genre, they were let go by Sierra. Times change, people
move on, new blood keeps the genre fresh. Magazines like CGW are
the ones living in the past as your points of reference are always
the Sierra and LucasArts games of old. If an adventure game sells
90,000 units you don’t hesitate to declare that adventure sales
are flat, yet The Sims Online sales are “not bad by any standard.” Which
one is it?
Now if you’ll excuse
me, I have to get Pamela Lee to change my diaper.
A ONE FINGER SALUTE TO…
Gamespy and their asinine ‘Top 10 Dead Genres’ article.
Poorly researched and full of inaccuracies, they didn’t hesitate
to declare the adventure genre deader than Abe Vigoda. Now there
was a time when we would huff and puff and ask Just Adventure readers
to write and complain, but those days are over as we realize it is
futile to deal intelligently with the brain-dead.
But I would ask you to
consider the following – hit ‘em
where it hurts, in the pocketbook. Whenever you see an advertisement
for an adventure game on a site or in a magazine that has declared
the genre is dead, write to the CEO or the Public Relations Director
of that company and demand to know why they are flushing their marketing
revenue down the toilet when it could be better spent at places that
support the genre and bring in new gamers rather than driving them
away. This will drive the point home very nicely.
But here, adventure fans,
is the ultimate insult. A Gamespy ‘insider’ who
I will not identify for obvious reasons, sent me the following:
Don’t take their Top10s too seriously – they are intended mostly
for laughs
and the GameSpy staff are huge adventure game fans (which shouldn’t
be
too surprising since they’re what we’d call “mature” gamers).
They can’t
wait for Syberia II and Gabriel Knight 4 to come out and the first
Syberia
is one of GameSpy’s all-time favorite titles. I wouldn’t be too surprised
to see that they have included the genre just to elicit feedback
from the
adventurer’s community.
Well, slap my butt and
call me Susie, but for some reason I don’t
find it too humorous that this article was intended mostly for laughs,
especially since it is not well-written and fails to properly convey
that point. Raise your hands out there, how many people who read
the article do you think actually thought it humorous and how many
people do you think unknowingly accepted the article at face value
and continue to perpetuate the ‘adventure game is dead’ myth?
That’s what I thought.
A DAY IN THE LIFE
While
purchasing a new desktop at my local Best Buy, I struck up a conversation
with the
salesman we’ll call Chris, since that
was his name, and I was telling him that I didn’t care about
stuff like fps (frames per second) and refresh resolution as I mostly
played slow-moving adventure games that didn’t depend on speed
and 3D graphics. Chris looked me right in the eye and said, “Haven’t
you heard, adventure games are hot again!” and proceeded to
tell me how well Syberia,
Post
Mortem,
etc. were selling. I of course was more than thrilled to inform him
of the wondrous world of Just Adventure and after posing for photographs
and signing autographs left the store a happy man, secure in the
knowledge that the adventure genre was alive and well.
Same
day, a few hours later, I’m in the game section of Toys
R Us. A gentleman in a suit approaches the two clerks behind the
counter and asks if they have the new CSI adventure game.
The clerks, who we shall christen Beavis & Butthead, stare at
the gentleman like he is a three-headed alien. You can literally
hear the gears
in their heads churning as they attempt to digest the information
that there is a game that does not feature sports, decapitations
or big boobs. Spittle dangles from their lower lips.
Being the shy, retiring
individual that I am, I introduce myself and explain to the customer
that these guys don’t have a clue
about the game he has requested. Since CSI is not due to
be released for another week and he needs a gift for his wife’s
birthday, I suggest he purchase the Law & Order
game as it is similar and then get CSI next week.
He turns to the clerks
and asks if they have the Law & Order game. They have just stood there and listened to our entire conversation.
They look at us like we are three-headed aliens…
Finally, I ask the gentleman
if he would be willing to follow me in his car and I led him to
Media Play where, he informed me later
via email, he was able to purchase Law & Order. Next time you’re
wondering why adventure games don’t sell well in some outlets,
think about those clerks in Toys R Us and how many clones they have
across the United States.
CALLING JERRY
SIENFELD
So like every other fanboy,
I pre-purchased a copy of Zelda: Wind Waker at Electronics Boutique
(contrary to popular perception, we
do not receive review copies from every publisher in the industry).
Paid $25 upfront and was informed that I needn’t pay the remainder
until the game arrived.
Two days before the release date, I received a telephone call from
my local Electronics Boutique:
“Mr. Sluganski, your copy of Zelda will be here in two days.
You can pick it up anytime after 6pm. If you haven’t picked
it up within two days after the release date, we will have to put
it back on the store shelf and refund your deposit.”
“Excuse me?”
“Your copy of Zelda….”
“I understood all that, what I don’t understand is how
you can put a product I’ve already reserved by paying half
of the retail price back on the shelf. Doesn’t that defeat
the purpose of why I prepaid for the game, especially since your
store is the one who suggested I prepay for the game?”
“Sir, I don’t
make company policy.”
“I’m sure you don’t, but it does seem to me that
you don’t understand the purpose behind prepaying for the product.”
Anyhow, is it just me
or does something seem screwy here? Electronics Boutique encourages
prepayments on their products but then if you
don’t pick it up within their self-imposed short time limit,
they’ll sell it to someone else! As far as I’m concerned,
if I prepaid for a product, then it should be in that store, ready
and waiting for me to pick up at my convenience. I’ve written
to Electronics Boutique headquarters and am still awaiting a response,
but in the meantime if you’ve experienced something similar
in your area, feel free to write and we’ll see what we can
do to halt such idiotic company policies.
JA RULEZ!
Well, at least the new
JA
Forum does. Not only is it the fastest growing (over
1,000 members in only 5 months!) and largest adventure forum on
the internet, but we
have also had surprise visits from people like Jeff Tobler, Roberta
Williams, Jane Jensen, Al Lowe, Ragnar Tournquist, Charles Cecil
and dozens of independent developers. We have a Hints & Tips
section that is second to none as it is moderated by the wonderful
staff of Universal
Hints System and
an Interactive Fiction section sponsored by Howard Sherman and
his new text game – Pentari. We
have members from almost every country in the world and adventure
gamers ranging in age from 14 to those who, like Len Green, are
in their 70’s but younger at heart than our youngest members.
There is no membership fee and while we don’t guarantee that
you will always agree with everyone’s opinions, we do guarantee
that you will have a good time, so what are you waiting for?
TO ALL MY FAVORITE
SPAMMERS
- I’ve been
married for twenty years and my wife has yet to complain about
the size of my penis, but thanks for caring
enough to ask. - Due to my current
medical condition, I am taking some heavy duty steroids so I actually
have more cleavage than most women, I
could though use a good man-bra. - To the Nigerian dictator who was kicked out of his country – I
have a spare bed in my attic. Please call first.
WHO WE ARE
We are Just Adventure,
the largest and most dedicated staff of adventure gamers and writers
on the Internet. It’s been a long time since
we introduced some of our staff members, so over the next few months
I would like to introduce you to everyone on the staff:
| First, a huge thank you and a virtual hug to Harriet Gurganus. Harriet has been the editor of the Schedule of Upcoming Releases for many years and will be truly missed upon her retirement. Harriet will still be around in limited capacity, the lure of the adventure game is just too strong, and is currently working on some top-secret projects. |
|
| Agustin Cordes is one of our newer staff members and hails from Argentina. He has an encyclopedic knowledge of adventure games and is currently working on a 10 Best Science Fiction Adventure games article and wrote wonderful reviews of the Spanish developed Runaway and the Russian Midnight Nowhere. |
|
| Bob Freese previously wrote for the AOL Games Channel and is our current Dreamcatcher liaison. He’s been a tremendous asset to the site and especially enjoys independently developed games like Full Moon in San Francisco, Out of Order and the soon-to-be released RHEM – Fans of Myst and Riven rejoice – RHEM is here! |
That’s it for this month and here’s hoping and praying
you won’t have to wait another eight months for the next State
of Adventure Gaming!
