Articles

You would think being a
game reviewer would have it’s perks. Go into a computer store and
ask for a game, drop your credit card on the counter, and have the
clerk’s eyes bug slightly. Of course, this doesn’t happen as much
as you would think. Hence this particular editorial.

I had always thought that,
if you are a clerk at an auto parts store, you had better have a pretty
decent idea of the difference between four wheel and all wheel drive.
Helps when trying to talk to a customer. I have also felt when working
at a pet store you had better know the difference between dog food
and cat litter. Now, why is it that the same rules don’t apply when
buying a video game?

Typical scenario at a video
store:

Clerk: Can I help
you?
Me: Yeah. Looking for the latest release of Serious Sam.
Clerk: Oh it isn’t due out for a while.
Me: It says here that it is due out today.
Clerk: Where?
Me: In your advertisement.
Clerk: Must be the other store.
Me: There IS no other store.
Clerk: We didn’t get it.
Me: What’s this?
Clerk: OH! Did you say the LATEST Release?

Frankly, I have found that
buying the games online from other gamers, from the company directly,
or requesting the game to be sent for review works better than buying
a game from a computer gaming store. The clerks have no idea what
they are doing! Ask for a Playstation 2 game, you may get lucky and
actually get a Playstion 2 game…but it won’t be the one you asked
for. Ask for a computer game and well you may end up buying a very
nice set of ram with the same anacronym. And heaven help you if you
get technical with some of these goons. If you have questions regarding
memory, drive space, video card, etc., send an email to the company
that makes the game. Asking a clerk at one of these stores only gives
them aneurysms and you a 50/50 chance of the answer being right.

One particular store in
town here really gets my “Never shop again” award. After
browsing for a while, a clerk was thrown from the back after losing
at straws. Nervously he approached me and asked if he could help.
I asked if the new Resident Evil was out yet. He practically
ran to one of the shelves and proudly displayed several versions of
the older games, then heaved a sigh of relief. When I said, “The
one for the Gamecube,” he blinked and said he didn’t know they
were making one. Realizing at this point I was dealing with an innocent
who had been thrown to the wolves of gaming, I slowly explained how
Resident Evil was supposed to go online, then went to the Gamecube
instead. He then thought hard for a second (I could smell the candle
wax burning) and said, “Well we have a few games for the Gamecube.
You want to look?”

Ok. Those who know me know
I have very little patience. I have a good heart, but can be a wee
bit harsh when I am dealing with silliness. (I want to say stupidity,
but that may be too hard for an editorial) But, I counted to ten,
then asked to see them. Sure enough, sitting under a poster displaying
the new Resident Evil, was the game. The clerk grabbed one
and headed for the counter. On the way he remembered stocking the
shelf with the game as well as putting up the poster, but had failed
to put the event of my asking for it and the actual stocking together.
Needless to say I didn’t buy the game there.

Word to the wise for those
who own video stores. If you have staff, make sure they have at least
some understanding of the industry. I have had more than one experience
of asking for, say, Max Payne, for example, and have the clerk
look me dead in the eye and ask if it was console or PC. I have also
had more than one episode of when asking for console games, having
the staff tell me they do not carry for Console, only Playstation
2, XBOX, PC, and Gamecube. Oh wait then there is that Dreamcube. Actually
had someone call it that!

That being said, I can
understand why reviewers are not well known in these stores. But one
pet peeve I have is a salesman who will say anything to make a sale.
One experience I will never forget happened two weeks ago. I had gone
into Fred Meyer to check out their selection. Looking for a particular
game, I approached the girl at the counter. I asked for the game.
Surprise, not in stock. After going back through the shelves myself
to make sure, I finally decided she may actually be right. I then
went back to the counter and asked if I could put one on hold as soon
as they came in, considering I had read on Gamespy that it would be
awesome.

Chit chat began as she
was filling out the information, and she mentioned she read up on
all the reviews on the net she could find. Hey! A smart clerk! I asked
about Just Adventure. She knew it well. Mentioned Dawn Johnson, she
said she had read his reviews and liked them. Such as? Well, you know,
he does a lot of reviews, can’t say which one I like the best. When
I took out my credit card and put it on the counter, she said, “Hey!
You have the same name! Kewl!” Needless to say I did not put
the game on layaway there, and told her exactly why, as well as her
supervisor. As my mother always used to say, keep your mouth shut
if you don’t know the company you are keeping.

Bottom line, for this reviewer,
I will remain a computer buyer, not a store shopper. Until I see an
improvement in the staff, well they can take other people’s money
who either know already what they are wanting, or don’t know the difference
between a modem driver or a computer game.