The intergalactic fast-food chain uses alien supplier Zlarg, who cares only about money and has little conscience. He plans to use humans as a raw, protein-rich ingredient for burgers, while environmentalist pressure threatens the company’s claim that it only uses unintelligent materials.

To protect that cover, Zlarg abducts pet shop assistant Wilbur Wafflemeier from the sleepy American town of Boonsville and tests him for sentience before clearing Earth for use. He rigs the test so that no creature can pass, and Wilbur fails as intended.

By protocol, Wilbur should be returned to the moment he left with no memory of the abduction. Instead, alien-rights activist Astra sabotages the teleporter, and he arrives one hour earlier with full knowledge of what is going to happen, giving him a chance to cheat back.