This one snuck up on me.
Or, rather, these three. “Ankh: Heart of Osiris” is the
second game of what is now a three-part series that began in 2006.
A:HOO (not to be confused with “Achoo!”) apparently was
released in 2007, a year after the first game, called plain old “Ankh.”
Now, there’s an Ankh 3 or “Ankh: Battle of the Gods.”
There’s also a DS version of the first one labled “Ankh:
Curse of the Scarab King,” but don’t ask me about
other platforms. I have enough trouble getting games to work on my
PC.

Until
Ankh 2 landed on my review desk I admit I hadn’t heard of any
of them. Not that my knowledge is exhaustive, but I’m at least
usually aware of the commercial titles floating around. Moreover,
this is the kind of game I would have been interested in had I only
known about it. Seems like the Ankh folks may need a new public relations
firm – or, more likely, it’s another of those games that
everyone knows about in Europe but was given nominal exposure in the
U.S. It now feels a little strange reviewing a two-year-old game,
but maybe A:HOO is new to you too.

As with all the Ankhs,
apparently, Heart of Osiris concerns itself primarily with the doings
of a hip young man who dwells in ancient Cairo by the name of Assil.
Except this is ancient Cairo as it would be portrayed in “The
Flintstones,” you know with drive-in camel washes and other
anachronistic shenanigans. Even the art is strongly reminiscent of
Fred and Barney’s world. The art of Osiris, however, is one
of the game’s strong points. Whatever the 3D engine is, it offers
a gorgeous world of bazaars and temples and rock quarries and what-have-you,
all in rich cartoon hues.

The
basic story of all the Ankhs has to do with our pal Assil stumbling
across, of course, an Ankh. But not just any ankh. This is the god
Osiris’s own personal Ankh and the fate of the world depends
upon it. And now young, impetuous Assil is the Ankh’s “guardian”
and doesn’t that make you feel secure about the fate of the
world? Well, of course, that’s where all the comic romps stem
from – Assil gets Ankh, Assil loses Ankh, evil henchmen get
Ankh, evil henchmen lose Ankh . . . etcetera. It’s a bit like
a volleyball game with an Ankh. Heart of Osiris, in fact, ends with
a big soccer game. Really.

If you don’t count
what the bad guys are trying to do, there are at least two subplots
underway in Ankh 2. The first is a romantic one involving Assil and
his on-again-off-again girlfriend Thara; the second has Thara and
a bunch of her young Cairo pals trying to bring down the Pharaoh and
his oppressive rule with bananas. The story is divided into five parts
and Assil is the lone protagonist in only two of them. In one of the
others Thara takes the lead; in the big finale Thara and Assil both
are maneuverable – it’s up to you the player to decide
which character should do what when. There’s a small character
icon in the lower right corner during this act to allow you to switch
back and forth between them.

Somewhere
in the middle of all this, even the Pharaoh gets into the act, as
the “hero” of one section. Strangely, this is one of the
best looking and most interesting parts of the game. Both Pharaoh
and Thara were, to me, more attractive and amusing characters than
Assil. Poor Assil. He can’t make up his mind whether he wants
to be a real hero or a drunken layabout. His real problem, though,
is that he’s been designed to appeal to young male players –
he’s supposed to be a real hoot and a scamp, but unfortunately
he mostly comes off as a real jerk. He’s like a cross between
Larry Lovage (Leisure
Suit Larry’s even more hopeless nephew) and King Graham
of the King’s
Quest games. One minute he’s a standup comic, the next he’s
the Caped Crusader. Doesn’t really mesh, guys. It’s no
wonder the game designers drop him from top billing whevever they
get the chance. On the other hand, this is not the way to build a
strong franchise. You really need a very attractive main character
and he or she needs to command the stage pretty much the whole time.
Think Guybrush Threepwood. Elaine is appealing, but it’s Guybrush’s
show.

I
enjoyed playing A:HOO but there was just something slightly off about
the whole affair. It has a bit of the feel of a B movie, or a summer
TV rerun. Enjoyable but kind of overly familiar, or insufficiently
surprising. It’s like a game that appears to owe almost everything
in it to other, better games. Or, worse, one of those games strategically
designed to appeal to “the kids.” As in, “the kids’ll
eat this one up! It’s got all kinds of irreverent stuff!”
In other words, it’s a cold hard soulless businessman’s
idea of what “the kids today” would like. Well, I liked
it anyway. It may not be “cool,” but it is entertaining.
On the other hand, I’m no longer a kid and the marketing team
probably doesn’t give a damn what I like.

It took me about fifteen
to twenty hours to complete A:HOO, which these days is standard length.
In terms of difficulty, it’s the kind of game you’ll be
zipping along in and can’t believe you got stuck on something.
A:HOO has the feel of a game that should be easy, but the mostly inventory
based puzzles can turn your head around every now and then. That is,
you can lose track of things or forget to try to combine everything.

I
was delighted to find there’s no in-game help system –
that alone probably dates the game to several years ago, before such
help became de rigueur. You can, however, hit the tab key at any time
and get a list of your current game goals. This actually is helpful,
as opposed to infuriating, like most current help systems. I didn’t
use the tab key myself because the game I downloaded didn’t
come with a manual so I was flying blind a bit. Usually, I prefer
it that way. It makes me feel observant when I stumble over the game
controls. For instance, it took me a few minutes of wild clicking
to realize that you have to not only select inventory items with a
right click, but must right click them to use them on the main screen
or to combine them with other items. I did find a pdf version of the
manual online later.

A:HOO
also occasionally tosses in a different kind of challenge. Early on
you have to figure out how to keep the occupants of a bar happy –
with little smiley faces hovering halo-like over their heads indicating
your progress in this regard. Apparently, or at least according to
that manual, the original game came with a color wheel which you used
to solve another early copy-protection-like puzzle. Like the manual
itself, the wheel and this puzzle were completely absent from the
version of the game I played. They must have scrubbed it. The best
thing in the game, though, is that big finale. Assil and Thara working
alternately in different parts of the palace to foil the fixed outcome
of the big game is cleverly designed – if only the whole game
had been like this.

I did not play the first
Ankh and though every character in Ankh 2 appears to be returning
from that earlier escapade I had no trouble figuring out what was
going on. The game is fully voiced, with subtitles, and the acting
varies widely from excellent to cringe-inducing. The actor who voiced
God should seek atonement, posthaste. As is so often the case with
games translated into English, typos abound. The game also has a few
other rough technical edges. If I walked too far in one direction
in some scenes I ended up looking at a solid blue field. There were
a few other minor glitches, like subtitles superimposed over each
other. But nothing that really dampened my enjoyment too much. The
music and sound effects were neither stellar nor annoying. Do people
really care about the soundtrack in a game? To me, that’s a
bit like caring about the colors of the uniforms players are wearing.
It’s not that you don’t notice it, but it’s still
just window dressing.

One
of the more interesting things about A:HOO is its availability. I
noticed a Mac version from Runesoft online, and a version available
(at the time of this writing) from Steam for ten simoleons. It appears
to be gettable from lots of places now. This is an interesting development
in its own right. Think about it. Back in the days of brick-and-mortar
gaming stores a title like Ankh 2 would have a few weeks at best to
prove itself on the racks – it if made it that far at all. But,
now, thanks to online marketing and downloads, there’s no limit
to any game’s shelf life.

Ankh: Heart of Osiris is
a visually attractive game that tries a little too hard to be hip
but nonetheless succeeds in being entertaining. It has the feel of
a game that you recommend to someone if they’re looking for
something else to play that’s like it. So I will. If you like
other big commercial cartoony adventure games, you’ll also probably
like this one. Only probably not as much. Overall, I give Ankh 2 a
grade of B plus. Actually, it plays like a B all the way until the
end – but it scores big during that finale soccer game. Go Nile
Crocodiles!

System Requirements
(PC):

Minimum:

• Windows 2000/XP/Vista
• Processor: 1.5 GHz
• 256 MB RAM
• Graphics Card: GeForce
  3 with 64 MB
• Direct X 9.0c

Recommended:

• Windows 2000/XP/Vista
• Processor: 2 GHz
• 512 MB RAM
• Graphics Card: Radeon
  9800 Pro/GeForce FX 5900 XT with 128 MB
• Direct X 9.0c