Twitch: Today we have two games for you that are as different as night and day, as different as Jerry Springer and Oprah Winfrey, as different as N Sync and the Rolling Stones, as different as ...

Spaz: All right dude, I think we got the point, one game is awesome like Randy and the other bites.

Twitch: Our first game is the nadir of adventure gaming. If games were identified by smell, then The Ring: Terror's Realm would be a dirty diaper. A dirty diaper that had not been changed for at least a week.

We're both diehard fans of Japanese adventure games, and not only have we played all of the translations--Jaleco's Juggernaut, Agetec's Clocktower series and Echo Night, Capcom's Resident Evil series--but we have even played wonderful games like the Welcome House series in Japanese. Yet, in this day and age, when such an advanced system as Sega's Dreamcast is into its second generation of games, there is no reason to release a console adventure game that is devoid of voice acting. Subtitles at the bottom of the screen that must be read--how 1990s.

Spaz: Actually, though, after experiencing the disjointed lip-synching and laugh-out-loud voice acting in the cut scenes, it was probably a blessing to have subtitles. But at times, even the subtitles were so numbingly boring and poorly translated that I wished they were in Japanese.

Twitch: The Ring: Terror's Realm is based on a wildly popular Japanese TV series that also inspired two hit movies and a comic book. The original plot revolves around a reporter doing a cover story on a mysterious video that's been circulating around school campus. When watched, the tape transmits a virus to the viewer, who then has only seven days to live. In the video game version, the reporter is now a supporting cast member, and the lead character is Meg, a virus researcher who starts a new job at the same research center as her boyfriend. This being a horror game, not only has her boyfriend mysteriously died before the end of the workday, but to make matters worse, two other coworkers bit the big one. The only common denominator in these deaths is a video game called, ta da, "The Ring." It seems the software for this game is housing a killer of a virus--literally. The developers have attempted to use ambience instead of gore to involve the gamer and the plot does contain some nice plot twists, but ...

Spaz: A good idea is ruined by bad execution. The animations are stiffer than a British tea party, the controls are unresponsive, and the looping, horrible music would make you long to be locked in a padded room with a repertoire of Barry Manilow tunes.

Not to mention that the developer's idea of building suspense is to have the protagonist run down a series of halls from point A to point B, only to find an inventory item that must be returned to point A, which then requires you to return to point B--ad nauseam. After a while, all of the halls and research labs and stairwells look the same.

Twitch: And there is, of course, for no good reason, a variety of weapons scattered about the research facility. This is all fine and dandy as long as it is kept within the realm of believability, but come on now, a grenade launcher and napalm grenades?

Spaz: Another idea that could have worked, but doesn't: monsters cannot see you in darkened rooms, but guess what, you can't see anything either. So that leaves you the choice of either flipping on the light switch or using your flashlight, either of which guarantees you will be attacked.

Twitch: So if you must, play ring-around-the-rosie, ring up a friend for a chat, clean the ring around your bathtub, or pierce your nose and wear a nose ring, but stay away from The Ring Terror's Realm.

Final Grade: D-