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The Phantom Menace is a sleepwalk of a game that literally does zilch to distinguish itself from the recent glut of action/adventure games polluting the market. It is a bottom-feeder that will sell millions of copies based on the Star Wars license. It will inspire insipid platitudes from major magazine reviewers (i.e., Entertainment Weekly, People) who have never before played a computer adventure game and from newbie gamers who are not cognizant of the richness of the past library of LucasArts adventure classics. The Phantom Menace is not a bad game; it is, in fact, very well-done. Why, then, the disappointment on my part? Because LucasArts had a golden opportunity to make a major impact on the future viability of the adventure genre in general and the action/adventure genre in particular and all they did was regurgitate the movie's key action sequences knowing they were already guaranteed blockbuster sales. Why deviate from the norm when success beckons? Why indeed. If the definition of adventure is to be reinvented as pull that lever, push that stone, tote that barge, then The Phantom Menace is adventure at its finest. If LucasArts truly believes that the inclusion of one maze after another--11 chapters' worth in all--constitutes adventure, then this is the pinnacle of adventure gaming. As for me, I would rather endure the most putrid, nonsensical Myst clone in existence than play one more action game that purposely, erroneously claims to contain adventure elements. Endless combat and action puzzles that consist of deciding where to push a box or whether to use your weapon or the Force to dispose of a foe are only a step above solving the puzzles in a Putt Putt or Freddi Fish game from Humongous. In fact, the problems in a Putt Putt game are an intellectual challenge compared to the mundane, uninspired goals of The Phantom Menace. How will I reach Jar Jar on that high ledge? Why, by tracing and retracing my route until I find multiple ascending levels as I nimbly jump from ledge to ledge. And if I suffer one misstep, I will, of course, have to repeat the entire process, thus turning a five-minute solution into a one-hour exercise in frustration. How far should I swim downstream to reach that ledge that will allow me to do a triple somersault while simultaneously using the Force in midair to dispose of some robotic enemies? Who gives a damn? This is nothing more than a side-scrolling platform game ineptly masquerading as a 3D adventure. If you want to play a real action/adventure game, then purchase Redguard, Mask of Eternity or Redjack and relegate this imposter to the bargain bin. This reviewer was one of the very few unaffected by the Star Wars mania that has swept the nation, but I have to admit that after loading the review copy of The Phantom Menace on my hard drive and hearing the familiar swell of the Star Wars theme song, I was sucked right back into the magic of George Lucas's mythological universe. Having quickly reached level 2, the Swamps of Naboo, I began to worry that maybe the game might be following the movie too closely, so it was off to the theater I went. While the game does not follow the movie religiously, it does hit on the key points of the film while also supplying some subplots and quests that could have been intriguing but are instead turned into extended labyrinthine searches (find my missing son) meant to extend but not enhance the play time. The subplots have no real bearing on the final outcome of the game, nor do the menu choices you make during your limited conversations with other characters. The "illusion" of adventure is much stronger than the actual adventure itself. While one cannot fault the plot--it is nothing more or less than what the movie presented--one can be extremely dismayed by the lack of creativity that went into a game that is obviously just another marketing tool no different than the endless supply of Darth Maul toothbrushes and C3PO Underoos. Only this marketing ploy is thinly disguised as a computer action/adventure for teenagers and adults. Phantom Menace plot--C. Phantom Menace puzzles--F. LucasArts, fondly revered in the computer gaming field for the richness of its plots and the complexity of its puzzles, from Day of the Tentacle to Grim Fandango, has succumbed to the nouveau rich gesticulations of this new breed of adventure gamers and blessed them with that they want in multitude--action. Action and more action--disguised as adventure. Riveting light-saber battles, complex shoot-outs between opposing forces that must be planned as carefully as any strategy sim, walls scorched black by the heat of the guns. And George said, "Let there be action," and there was and it was good and it got a grade of B. What's left? Oh yeah, graphics, sound and music. They are all excellent, better than many games on the market. The graphics always allow for the best and most advantageous camera angle, the music is, well, it's Star Wars, and the voice acting, even though it is not the actors from the movie, is very professional. Hell, you can even understand Jar Jar. Okay, all three are great; grade of B. So why am I giving such short shrift to what is destined to be the best-selling game of the year? Well, seeing as how the Star Wars franchise has anointed itself as the progenitor of all things futuristic, episodic and mythological, it only serves to make the insipidness of The Phantom Menace and the nose-thumbing at adventure gamers all the more puzzling and disappointing. If you want to call yourself a duck, i.e., action/adventure, then you damn well better quack like a duck. Instead, this game squeals like a greedy merchandising pig. C'mon, LucasArts, there is myriad Star Wars/Phantom Menace merchandising crap out there, yet you couldn't throw the poor neglected adventure gamer a bone! This game would have sold hundreds of thousands of copies even if it had been a point-and-click 2D adventure. What could have and should have been a blessing for the genre is instead a Jabba the Hut-sized slap in the face. After all adventure fans throughout the far reaches of the galaxy proclaimed support of LucasArts during their early years by singing the praises of Maniac Mansion and Sam 'n' Max, they now thank us by giving us a long-awaited Star Wars adventure game--with no adventure. Do I personally recommend this game? Yes, but not as an adventure game. This is a game that was marketed for the general public. Yet I am positive that LucasArts couldn't care less what a 43-year-old male does and does not like. Bottom line--my three sons, aged 16, 11 and 9, who wouldn't know a real adventure game from Pokemon, love this self-proclaimed action/adventure game, and that, my friends, is the bottom line--cold, hard cash. But here's another bottom line, LucasArts and all you other companies screwing us adventure gamers--I control the purse strings in my house, and I will no longer support games or companies that continue to bastardize the adventure genre. I wish I could report that Phantom Menace is a good but failed try at an adventure game, but it is a sheep in wolf's clothing. I never thought the day would come when I would dread the release of a new LucasArts game, but Indiana Jones and the Infernal Machine just dropped off my list of must-have adventure games. Final Grade C. System Requirements:
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