Review Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust Developer: Team 17 Publisher: Codemasters Genre: Humor Release Date: April 2009 Platform: (Version reviewed) Review by Randy Sluganski April 14, 2009		Buy this game at Trade for this game at:

Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust is rated M (mature) and is not supposed to be played by anyone under the age of 17. As this review contains explicit descriptions of game situations, it also should not be read by anyone under the age of 17. Nor should it be read if you are easily offended by four-letter-words or by my poor writing masquerading as humor.

If Al Lowe – the creator of Leisure Suit Larry – were dead, he would be spinning in his grave. But luckily Al is still with us so he’s probably just pulling out his hair instead. Well, maybe not as Al is a charter member of The Bald Hair Club for Men Club. But just to be on the safe side, I emailed the loquacious Mr. Lowe to inquire as to his involvement, if any, with Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust, his response, “I am quite proud to say absolutely none!”

If it looks like a turd and if it smells like a turd . . .

So you’ve just returned from your local Gamestop with your new purchase – and yes, I did purchase this game for $19.99 as neither the publisher Codemasters nor their public relations firm Fortyseven Communications had the courtesy to respond to our review copy requests even though they were the ones to initiate the contact, sort of the video game equivalent of a movie studio refusing to provide advance screenings for films that they know will receive blistering reviews – and as you excitedly remove the cellophane, it will be understandable if the accompanying stench leads you to believe that someone has taken a dump in the box and then sealed it shut. But, there is no turd, just a game that is so bad that it actually smells like day old dog-shit that has been ripening under the hot sun.

How do I hate thee, let me count the ways

Just to be clear, yes I did play and enjoy the original Leisure Suit Larry games lo those many years ago, but as I mentioned in my Blu-ray review of (insert cheap shameless plug here) The Day the Earth Stood Still, I’m not a slave to tradition, not a diehard fanboy who believes that old movies or games can’t or shouldn’t be remade or updated.

But in the case of Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust, why even use the LSL license if he is only a superfluous character in the proceedings? Why transform what had been a successful adventure game franchise into a platform/arcade/fighting game? And while I’m at it, how about these other whys:

• Why isn’t there a desktop quick launch icon available after installation?
• Why can Larry fall off ledges and die? Haven’t the developers heard of that new programming technology named ‘This is 2009 and Not 1990’?
• Why is it so damn hard to save in this game?
• Why are there what I assume are console button commands on the screen when I am playing the pc version?
• Why can Larry change his costumes? Is this a Barbie doll simulation?
• Why – except when there is a mini-game involved – can’t Larry speak to or hit on the numerous women wandering through the game?
• Why did the retail price of the console version drop $10 only a week after the game’s release?
• Why was there a glowing review of this game on Amazon before it was even in the stores?

And I’m really just warming up! Between the numerous load screens, humorous ‘hints’ are offered to the gamer. Just try to not wet your knickers from laughter at the following:

• Give a copy of this game to your grandma for her birthday.
• Hint: Move out of your mother’s basement.
• Blatant inspirational lie of the day #3 – Characters in games want to be your friends.

As the game is unhindered by any resemblance of humor – as evidenced by the above – one would think that other aspects of the game would take up the slack, and one would be wrong. The keyboard controls for the PC version are absolutely, downright awful. The frustration encountered just attempting to jump between ledges or to drive a golf cart without crashing into every object on the screen is insurmountable. Never since the days of the earliest PC platform games have there been such wonky, no make that putrid, controls.

The graphics – in a game that is supposed to be about getting laid and ogling hot babes, why in the hell are the women so butt-ugly and misshapen? Why are camera angles constantly out-of-kilter making already difficult arcade sequences even more challenging, if not impossible? Why can I sometimes see backgrounds through the characters?

What is truly, truly mind-boggling is the quality of the voice talent hired for this game – Jeffrey (Arrested Development) Tambor, Dave (Insomniac) Atell, Shannon (American Pie) Elizabeth, Peter (Mission Impossible) Graves, Jay (Gary Unmarried) Mohr, Patrick (The Tick) Warburton, Artie (Howard Stern Radio Show) Lange, Carmen (I’m a walking STD) Electra - yet not one of them says anything memorable or leaves a lasting impression thanks in a large part to the insipid dialogue.

Jack-Off of All Trades, Master of None

The premise of the game is that legendary lounge lizard Larry Laffer now owns his own adult movie studio, but some recent suspicious events lead him to suspect that there is a mole in his employ, so he hires his nephew Larry to perform various jobs on the studio lot while secretly attempting to uncover the identity of the double-crossing employee.

This game tries to be everything – fighting, shooting, driving, horseback riding, seduction – but does absolutely nothing right. It is so sophomoric and amateurish that I have to wonder if anyone on the development team is out of puberty. In fact, I think Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust is indicative of a larger problem within the game industry and provides credence to author and game critic Heather Chaplin’s much-discussed statement at the 2009 GDC that, “It’s not that the medium is in its adolescence, it’s that you’re a bunch of fucking adolescents. It’s even worse because you’re technically supposed to be adults.”

Though the game is rated M(ature) for age 17 and over, this is raunchy, titter humor aimed at young male teens, who are supposedly not the intended audience. Though there is some sexual activity in Larry’s sleazy, rocking trailer, there is no visual nudity or sex. So what then is the point of the game? If both the publisher and developer don’t have the cojones to ‘go all the way’ as games like Lula 3D and Bonetown have done just because they are afraid of an A(dult) rating, then why even bother with a water downed Mature rating to release a game that anyone over the age of 17 will avoid like a venereal disease?

I am not claiming that Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust is the worst game of the decade because it has, once and for all, emasculated the LSL license, nor is it because it has soiled my fond memories of the Sierra classics. Nope, I’m proclaiming that Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust is the worst game of the decade because it truly is the worst game I’ve played in the past ten years.

Considering the probably above average budget, the big-name voice talent and the involvement of a publisher once recognized for quality titles – though to be fair, Codemasters did acquire the rights late in production after Vivendi/Activision reorganized and put the game in limbo – this is a major embarrassment for all concerned.

Goodnight Larry. Sleep tight and may we never see your scrawny ass again.

System Requirements: PC

• OS: XP/Vista
• Video card: GeForce 6600 / Radeon X1300
• RAM: 1 GB
• Processor: 3.2 GHz
• Hard disk space: 6 GB
• DirectX: 9.0c