AndromusGuild Master


Posts : 5538 Joined: 6 NOV 2002
Status : Offline | So the Memorial Day weekend stretched out before me -- a three day weekend and no plans in particular. I decided this would be an excellent chance to start a few things -- play Diablo for the first time (Yes, I know -- I'm the only person left who hasn't), start Gabriel Knight 2, and catalog my book collection.
Well, Friday night I started Diablo, figuring I could give it a try that evening and maybe start the other two items on my list Saturday. This turned out to be a major miscalculation on my part, because I was somewhere on level 10 trying to convince a bunch of poison spitters and toad demons that while violence wasn't the answer to their problems, it did wonders for me, when I realized with a shock it was late Sunday night already, and I hadn't started the other two things on the list. So like the little angel and demon perching on someone's shoulder in the cartoons, my adventure side and my action side started an argument.
Adventure side: Right, then. I think you've had enough. Hand over the mouse.
Action side: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just one more level, and I'm done.
Adv: Mmmhmm. That's what you said on level nine, and level eight, and...
Act: Look, I just need I just need to find the Anvil of Fury, and then I'll really kick evil's butt. I mean, look at what I've got now: "Sword of Maiming"? What good is that? Maybe if I wanted to just prod evil's butt a little, but come on! I need real power!
Adv: Like you really need the Bow of Belligerence, and the Dagger of Disemboweling? You could open a weapons shop with the junk you've got already.
Act: And I need to make another scavenger run, there's got to be tons of mystical goodies I've left behind.
Adv: Ooo....more mystical crap, big deal. Look, in this game everything's enchanted. If you had Cain identify the cow pats in the field, they'd probably turn out to be the long lost Celtic Cowpats of Cardiff, or something.
Act: Listen, do I hassle you this much when you're trying to figure out how to open a door using a plastic pink flamingo, a kazoo, and a half-eaten croissant?
Adv: Well, actually you do. Your solution to everything is just to go around the corner because you're sure there's going to be a rocket launcher, an Abrams tank, or at least a sharp pointy stick.
Act: Then you know what it feels like. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a gargoyle over here who's just dying, to, well, die!
Adv: What about starting Gabriel Knight 2? What about organizing our books?
Act: (Busy clicking away) Stuff Gabriel Knight.
Adv: (Shocked) WHAT did you say?
Act: I said stuff Gabriel Knight! And the books too! How many shelves worth haven't we read yet?
Adv: Thanks to games like Diablo, that's why we don't get any reading done!
Act: You mean thanks to Gabriel Knight 1! How much time did we waste on that?
Adv: WASTE? That tears it....
And showing a surprising amount of initiative, my adventure side smacked my action side with the mental equivalent of a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle, surprising my action side (who is always ready for hell-hordes or waves of commandos, but couldn't possibly imagine being hit by a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle), and allowing me just the split second I needed to wrench myself away from the computer.
So, here I am, making good progress in book cataloging, but keeping a watchful eye for my action side to make its next move, mental rubber chicken at the ready....
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