And so it looked like a job for the one and only........... Tex Murphy

Repelling down the side of the hovercraft I regained the tarmak. Now how to find Tex before Bobo's clan did? Slipona was a vast city and he could be anywhere - with peels to catch you up everywhere..  

Intelligence agencies around the world stared in disbelief at the news that Tincup had returned from retirement and was even now, hot on the heels of the nefarious master spy Bobo so they mobilised their best operatives ....

I made my way to the first coffee shop I could find. Thank god it wasn't Starbucks. Collect myself, collect information, talk to any monkey I could find.. Bobo [or obbo] is a step ahead but he doesn't know...

What neither Tincup nor the monkeys knew, was that the previous regime had installed Big brother-type cameras everywhere, and that Trav, Caroline and Helen were huddled in front of a display full of screens in a control room far underground beneath the site generally called "JA". 

They were worriedly scanning the 20 screens at their disposal, each screen showing a different area of their homeland of JA, that now had monkeys scampering all over the place.

"The place is starting to resemble Monkey Island"  Trav remarked.  "The next thing you know, we'll see Guybrush Threepwood alighting from a ship.  At least we have Tincup doing a good job up there."

And we wondered where the hell Tex was, he was supposed to be here as backup for tincup.

Unknownst to everyone, Tex had been keeping abreast of the situation all along and had already discovered that the previous regime had installed cameras everywhere and that the afore-mentioned trio would probably be watching keenly. Secretly he had manipulated the cameras to operate on a continuous loop ensuring the duo could assess the situation and act accordingly without intrusion or interference from the busybodies. 

Lesson number 1: Coffee in a land populated entirely by monkeys is not what you or I would describe as coffee. Hopefully if I could find Tex I could get a decent cup - this stuff was horrible - not as bad as Starbucks, but weird. So weird I was starting to think it wass piked, I was beginning to feel funny...

We realized we needed more help than Tex or a wizard of the 10th level could give. So we decided

to take off the gloves and go mano-a-mano with whoever it was that stood in our way. Who was it again?

As the mists of confusion swirled in the minds of our heroes the Myst Sheriff's evil alter ego, Chief General of the Nabuhitians, laughed at how easily his tainted coffee products had been distributed around the world by Starbucks.  'Mwahahaha' he chuckled, 'I'll soon be in control of the entire planet and then we'll see who is the real monkey here'. 

As horrible as the coffee was I had an insaitiable craving for another cup. What was happening too me!? What was happenening to all these monkeys!

the craving for the coffee was just the start of things to come......

A lost weekend in a clapped out java shack...

and an odd collection of items scattered beside him on the floor when he finally woke up...

...with a pounding head and a strange taste in his mouth.  He viewed his surroundings with unfocused eyes and his brain slowly took in an empty bag of coffee beans, a paper clip, a grinder, a torn filter, a flower pot, and a banana peel.  Upon seeing all this, he...

suddenly remembered why he was wearing a woman's dress and how it had come to be so torn and covered in mud.... and... er... horrible gunky stuff that smelled like ....

...like Molecular Acid! Ridley Scott on this god forsaken island of java junkies?

NOw totally confused about who were the real baddies, who was on their side, where the aliens were hiding and not able to trust their own reports, the CIA launched an internal investigation into the whereabouts of their master spy, that agent extraordinaire, the hero who had saved the world so many times before, and the one person they suspected knew more than they did about what was going on - Bobo. All they had to go one was a postcard saying 'wish you were here?'....

...wish you were here... wish you were here. Yes, that's what I told myself time after time as I downed cup after cup of luke warm java as bad as the swill at Starbucks but even worse. Then suddenly, maybe it was eating banana... the feeling of  wishing I was where I actually was, made sense and in a flash my brain came alive - Bobo, you tricky SOB! Racing out of the java, tossing dead beat java junkies ou of my way I...

ran outside and hailed a passing cab.  'Take me to the White House!' I cried flinging myself back into the seat.  'Wha?  The REAL White House?' asked the cabbie incredulously?  'Yes, yes!' I replied, what was the matter with this dolt? 'And step on it, there isn't a minute to lose!  I must speak to the President urgently.'  The cabbie turned around in his chair and stared at me.  'You want me to drive all the way to Washington DeeCee?  That's like.... over a thousand miles.  You gonna have to pay for that upfront dude.'  'Okay, take me to the airport' I said, switching plans with lightening speed, 'I'll fly there.'

But Crap! I still havent found my wallet. How the Hell am I gonna buy a plane ticket?

While TinCup in his Tex Murphy jocks and sox was sidling his way across the tarmac to a small twin engined rig with its engine idling, the women locked in their secret control tower staring at monitors, realised that the Forces of Evil were gaining ground and unless something happened soon to turn the tide in their favour, the Earth would fall under the wicked spell of SirDave's alter ego's poisoned Nabuhitian coffee.  Back at the airport and feeling invincible, Tex er... Tincup, jumped into the unoccupied airplane and taxied out onto the runway, determined to chance it without air traffic clearance.

Lowering the the flaps and throttling up he thanked his gods he had wasted so much time playing flight simulators. Clear of the runway raised the gear and was off. Washington? Ha! he had a much better idea...

It had been a bumpy landing on the private beach but Tincup/Tex felt pretty smug about it as he stepped out of the plane and onto the sand.  'Ahhhhh' he said, breathing in the scented air, 'ain't nothing like Jamaica at this time of year.  Now to find that rascal Bobo and put a stop to all this end of the world nonsense.' He glanced up and down the empty beach wondering which way to walk when his ears caught the faintest sound of music...