| 3 JUL 2010 at 12:55pm |
TravellerGuild Master
Posts : 4040
Joined: 3 JUL 2010
Location: US
Status : Offline | Ex-Traveller here.
Guys, please forgive me for what I'd done. I'm only human, and in this case, I'd been an extremely silly human. I never drink pain pills, and only rarely alcohol. On that particular day I'd drunk some pain pills and grabbed a bottle of wine to drown my sorrows, and since I was feeling a large degree of pain and rage, I needed to somehow… ok. I’m not going to try and explain it, but it made sense at the time, and I felt I was only hurting myself, by deleting something that was most precious to me, my virtual self on my favourite website, with which I had collected a particularly high post count.
I had not meant to be selfish, though some people e-mailing me, had made me aware that it had perhaps been rather selfish. That was not my intention, and I honestly feel very embarrassed by causing such a spectacle. At the time, I did feel the need to post something before I deleted, in case anybody thought I had gone off in a huff for some reason, which was not the case. I simply wanted y’all to know that my reasons were personal and nothing to do with you, or anything regarding JA.
Since I’d been feeling pretty embarrassed and all, I didn’t know how to come back gracefully, and I still don’t …so I’m just clumsily crashing back in… I just needed to come back ASAP to say thank you to all the people who have been so sweet and supportive, and wanted to apologise to you, since I don’t have your e-mail addresses - and especially those of you whom I’d been having PM correspondences with previously, but not e-mail correspondence.
I really don’t like displaying my personal life, even to friends, so let’s just carry on like normal, if u don’t mind, and just excuse if I don’t carry through on my intended projects like game threads I had intended starting, since I won’t have the time to do them anymore.
I’m so sorry.
* * * Just call me Trav. * * *
“Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.” - Robert Bloch
"They are not reciprocally sublated--the one does not sublate the other externally--but each sublates itself in itself and is in its own self the opposite of itself" (Hegel, from The Doctrine of Being)..."
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| 3 JUL 2010 at 1:52pm |
MarkGuild Master
Posts : 3803
Joined: 10 OCT 2002
Location: US, Georgia
Status : Offline | Originally Posted By placeholder (3 JUL 2010 12:55pm)
I never drink pain pills...
Not to worry, Trav. There are city municipal water systems in the U.S.A. where you can actually put a glass under the tap and VOILA! Your daily allowance of relief from pain.
Welcome back, placebo.
Please proofread your posts carefully to see if you any words out.
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| 3 JUL 2010 at 2:21pm |
TravellerGuild Master
Posts : 4040
Joined: 3 JUL 2010
Location: US
Status : Offline | Ah, Mark... how could I ever have thought I could do without [s]you[/s] Mr Mumbles? Gosh, just a sentence and you manage to cheer grouchy old me up.
Now I need to think of a suitable name for myself. Could have called myself 'Jen' but there's already a Jenny..... Um.. [smiley=boggled.gif]
* * * Just call me Trav. * * *
“Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.” - Robert Bloch
"They are not reciprocally sublated--the one does not sublate the other externally--but each sublates itself in itself and is in its own self the opposite of itself" (Hegel, from The Doctrine of Being)..."
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| 3 JUL 2010 at 3:02pm |
JKingSchattenjger
Posts : 2349
Joined: 4 MAY 2008
Location: 0
Status : Offline | It's good to see you back, madam. I wish I could have been around to talk you out of it in the first place, but no permanent harm done, save to your post-count.
The place definitely wouldn't have been the same without you, so I'm glad you've discovered you had more friends than you thought. :-* :-* :-*
You can't kill someone in a studio.
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| 3 JUL 2010 at 3:48pm |
InlandAZGuild Master
Posts : 5586
Joined: 4 MAY 2007
Status : Offline | We all have bad days Traveller. I for one am glad to see yours is over
Welcome back!
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| 3 JUL 2010 at 4:43pm |
Terry PenrodGrand Inquisitor
Posts : 6693
Joined: 16 OCT 2004
Location: US, Texas
Status : Offline | .
Jen, I'm not sure I want to know a perfect person who never has bad days and never makes mistakes.
Welcome back to our imperfect online world.
Cheers, Terry
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| 3 JUL 2010 at 5:00pm |
SirDaveGuild Master
Posts : 4941
Joined: 17 OCT 2002
Location: US
Status : Offline | Well Trav- for me, on the good side, there'll be one less Grand Inquisitor around here. But only for a moment- you'll likely be at the 6000 count mark in, oh, about a week! >
(Nice to see you back.)
The future ain't what it used to be!
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| 3 JUL 2010 at 6:09pm |
FnordSchattenjger
Posts : 2752
Joined: 15 SEP 2008
Location: SE, Stockholm
Status : Offline | I'm glad to see that you have not disappeared on us.
One thing though, don't lock in your feelings. I understand that it is hard for a strong person to show weakness, but find a close friend, or someone from your past that you still feel that you can trust, and at least talk about it. It will feel a lot better afterwards, believe me. Do whatever it takes to move forward, and don't worry too much about others. Your friends will understand and support you.
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| 3 JUL 2010 at 6:27pm |
AndromusGuild Master
Posts : 5538
Joined: 6 NOV 2002
Status : Offline | I'm glad to see you thought better of leaving. And don't be embarrassed about it, you made a quick decision during a rough time, hey, we all do that.
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| 3 JUL 2010 at 7:09pm |
Lady KestrelGuild Master
Posts : 4038
Joined: 27 SEP 2004
Location: US, NJ
Status : Offline | Originally Posted By placeholder (3 JUL 2010 12:55pm)
I didn’t know how to come back gracefully,
So what if you fell through the ceiling, took out a lamp or two, smashed that precious Ming vase, and put a permanent sag in the sofa! We're just glad to have you back! [smiley=clap.gif] :-*
"Where is the fountain that throws up these flowers in a ceaseless outbreak of ecstasy?"
-Rabindranath Tagore
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| 3 JUL 2010 at 7:12pm |
TravellerGuild Master
Posts : 4040
Joined: 3 JUL 2010
Location: US
Status : Offline | [smiley=blush.gif] Thanks you guys. This really is the bestest website in the whole wide world...
* * * Just call me Trav. * * *
“Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.” - Robert Bloch
"They are not reciprocally sublated--the one does not sublate the other externally--but each sublates itself in itself and is in its own self the opposite of itself" (Hegel, from The Doctrine of Being)..."
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| 3 JUL 2010 at 7:32pm |
AShadowWalkerPrivate Detective
Posts : 776
Joined: 6 AUG 2009
Status : Online | Originally Posted By placeholder (3 JUL 2010 12:55pm)
Ex-Traveller here.
Guys, please forgive me for what I'd done. I'm only human, and in this case, I'd been an extremely silly human.
what other type is there......
I have a feeling that no one here can throw rocks at you.....
I never drink pain pills, and only rarely alcohol. On that particular day I'd drunk some pain pills and grabbed a bottle of wine to drown my sorrows, and since I was feeling a large degree of pain and rage, I needed to somehow…
...so....you wanted to re-live those younger....happier.....flower child days.....COOL!! 8-)
ok. I’m not going to try and explain it, but it made sense at the time, and I felt I was only hurting myself, by deleting something that was most precious to me, my virtual self on my favourite website, with which I had collected a particularly high post count.
....so like a tragic hero of hellenic times you wound up basically......spilling your own guts by falling on your sword.....how "et tu brute" of you....you decided to go out with a bang!!
don't worry about it.....placeholder! :-?
we haven't noticed.....just glad you are back and I would say sorry that we are not helping carry some of your pain for you.
I had not meant to be selfish, though some people e-mailing me, had made me aware that it had perhaps been rather selfish. That was not my intention, and I honestly feel very embarrassed by causing such a spectacle. At the time, I did feel the need to post something before I deleted, in case anybody thought I had gone off in a huff for some reason, which was not the case. I simply wanted y’all to know that my reasons were personal and nothing to do with you, or anything regarding JA.
the world selfish has two totally different meanings. One meaning is: "taking advantage of people against their will or sometimes without their knowledge."
....the other is meaning is: "you taking care of yourself and your family first and foremost and to whatever degree you deem appropriate and necessary."......so I think that in this case, you may not necessarily owe anyone any explanations, or for that matter you may not have a need to feel guilty or embarrased either.
Since I’d been feeling pretty embarrassed and all, I didn’t know how to come back gracefully, and I still don’t …so I’m just clumsily crashing back in…
....you are here, and that is all that matters to [highlight]ME[/highlight].
There I am [highlight]selfish!![/highlight]....and damm proud of it too! [smiley=happy.gif]
I just needed to come back ASAP to say thank you to all the people who have been so sweet and supportive, and wanted to apologise to you, since I don’t have your e-mail addresses - and especially those of you whom I’d been having PM correspondences with previously, but not e-mail correspondence.
forgetaboutit!
I really don’t like displaying my personal life, even to friends, so let’s just carry on like normal, if u don’t mind, and just excuse if I don’t carry through on my intended projects like game threads I had intended starting, since I won’t have the time to do them anymore.
hmmmmm..........so I will not get all the juicy gossip and watch your dirty laundry? DAMM!! [smiley=furious.gif]
Alright....lets just start all over again.....no juice banter or joyful dirty secrets here.......this forum is turning into a Disney Channel!! [smiley=doh.gif]
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| 3 JUL 2010 at 8:41pm |
karlaAdministrator
Posts : 2593
Joined: 27 JUL 2003
Location: US, Close to the Edge
Status : Offline | My cat and I are doing a dance of joy! (Too bad you can't see it -- we look real funny we we do the joy dance.)
I'm soooooo happy you're back Trav! And as Shadow has pointed out, being selfish isn't always bad, as when you put yourself and what you feel are your best interests first.
Concerning mistakes, well who doesn't make them?
[size=14]Welcome back!!!!! [smiley=jumping.gif] [smiley=hi_five.gif] [smiley=silly.gif]
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| 3 JUL 2010 at 9:18pm |
ThaumaturgeJourneyman
Posts : 999
Joined: 11 MAY 2006
Status : Offline | Welcome back! It's good to have you on the forums again, I do believe. ^_^
Originally Posted By placeholder (3 JUL 2010 12:55pm)
Ex-Traveller here.
Guys, please forgive me for what I'd done. ...
Don't worry about it - your desire was, I think, one that I can understand, and, as you point out, was made under less-than-ideal mental and emotional conditions. ^_^
Originally Posted By placeholder (3 JUL 2010 12:55pm)
... I didn’t know how to come back gracefully ...
I suppose that you could have chosen the name "Grace"... ;P
placeholder
... I'm actually tempted to suggest keeping that name, just because it seems to delightfully and arbitrarily random.
Buuuut, I suppose that you might be better served by a name more true to yourself... ^^;
(It is, for one thing, perhaps a little too nondescript for you.)
MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*ahem*
Sorry.
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| 3 JUL 2010 at 10:14pm |
CrisGerSchattenjger
Posts : 2539
Joined: 28 APR 2007
Location: US
Status : Offline | ex Traveller, i am fine with you being whoever you want, how about Traveller II ? hehehe
I was sad to see you go, but selfishly, it was NOT selfish of you to do whatever you needed to or wanted to or felt like doing whatever the circumstances. You are a precious unique soul with your own path and that is YOUR path and filled only with YOUR choices. Those I totally support. Now as for the people or circumstances that might have caused you or cause you pain...well, in Oblvion I have a master heavy armor and sword rating, ditto relatively in a number of other worlds and they are at your disposal.
Welcome back, and I would certainly think and hope that your post count could and should be transferred to whatever new incarnation you choose. And if my artistic talents (meager that they are) can help you devise a new avatar piccy, let me know. hugs.
Admin
3D Worlds and Game Developers
Linkedin
http://3dworldandgamedevelopers.blogspot.com
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| 4 JUL 2010 at 2:10am |
CarolineJA+ Overseer
Posts : 16540
Joined: 28 JAN 2007
Location: AU
Status : Offline | Dear Traveller
You are so in for it now girly...... Mark already has you as placebo.... Have you checked out all the other 'pl' words in the dictionary....
Don't say I haven't warned you. [smiley=devil_smiley_grintail.gif]
PS welcome back. :-*
PPS send Karla a begging letter - she has the power of a small Goddess around here and may be able to adjust your post count.
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| 4 JUL 2010 at 3:20am |
IviniaGuild Master
Posts : 4459
Joined: 7 JUN 2003
Location: US
Status : Offline | Originally Posted By Caroline (4 JUL 2010 2:09am)
PPS send Karla a begging letter - she has the power of a small Goddess around here and may be able to adjust your post count.
Don't do it!
I moved up another slot when you pulled the plug....
Besides, much drama is about to unfold seeing that Mrs. C is approx. 19 posts away from Terry. Ok,ok, she DID delete her account at around 5,000 and restart at zero twice before, but that's not what is important right now.
Why do I sense some stupid threads about to begin just for the sake of post counts.....?
Anyway, welcome back Jen. You should call yourself Jenny101....
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| 4 JUL 2010 at 4:52am |
XerNosamSorcerer Apprentice
Posts : 339
Joined: 3 SEP 2007
Location: US, California
Status : Offline | I've been one to come and go on here - to not be very consistent about checking in and posting on a regular basis.
But I found myself checking back in daily, hoping that you'd show up again, Jen.
I'm so, so glad you've returned! I hope things work out for you and don't ever be embarassed about doing things that are human
I've been there.
Welcome back!
Yee Haw!
Playing: Skyrim: Dragonborn/Dawnguard; Torchlight 2; To The Moon; Far Cry 3
Finished: HomeFront; Far Cry 3; Dishonored
Always Playing: Half Life 2
Looking Forward To: BioShock: Infinite
Reading: BioShock: Rapture; SW: Revan
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| 4 JUL 2010 at 11:12am |
Starchild with a bobgunIntergalactic Janitor
Posts : 93
Joined: 22 AUG 2009
Location: NL
Status : Offline | Hey Travelbubbah.
How can you throw away your identity??? It's like killing your personality.
And I know, cause I've done it myself a few times during my 6/7 year stay here.
And I must say: It always feels good! New me, new personality.
So: how is it for you?
Respect and may the Funk be with you...........always.
Still Intergalactic Janitor after all these years.
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| 4 JUL 2010 at 11:22am |
TravellerGuild Master
Posts : 4040
Joined: 3 JUL 2010
Location: US
Status : Offline | Heheh, SirFunk, you at least managed to think of a nice new (albeit veer-rry-yy long to write out name) alternative .
I've been thinking and thinking and thinking, but couldn't think of a solution, so I'm being extremely unimaginitive here.
Losing 6 373 posts is no joke, though.. :'(
Hey, but like you say, it takes some doing, huh? [smiley=doh.gif]
Thanks for the good words everybody. I feel humbled, really. :-* :-* :-*
* * * Just call me Trav. * * *
“Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.” - Robert Bloch
"They are not reciprocally sublated--the one does not sublate the other externally--but each sublates itself in itself and is in its own self the opposite of itself" (Hegel, from The Doctrine of Being)..."
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| 4 JUL 2010 at 11:31am |
Starchild with a bobgunIntergalactic Janitor
Posts : 93
Joined: 22 AUG 2009
Location: NL
Status : Offline | I Know there was a time when between certain amounts of posts you had 2 stars, like my avatar back then of Bootsy.
I always deleted my avatar, when I exceded that amount and got 3 other icons (banana's or so)
Never had much with amounts of posts.
It's quality that matters.
And as you wel know: That is High in my posts.
[img]http://showbizz.nieuwslog.nl/data/subdomain/306/article/20091013104427_amy_winehouse2404.jpg[/img]
Very high.
Still Intergalactic Janitor after all these years.
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| 4 JUL 2010 at 3:23pm |
loobilooPrivate Detective
Posts : 598
Joined: 3 APR 2008
Location: UK
Status : Offline | Dear Traveller, I've just had a peek at JA for the first time since April & was so disappointed to see that you were now an ex-member. After some searching & a little navigation I'm glad to find that you have come back. [smiley=jumping.gif] I hope your impressive post count can be sorted out!
I'm so sad that whatever has happened to you has brought you down so badly. I know it will take some time but you have been such a lively contributor to JA & are so well thought of by so many - we hope you will eventually recover & we will wait! [smiley=kiss.gif]
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| 5 JUL 2010 at 12:35am |
ArkadiaPrivate Detective
Posts : 558
Joined: 1 JUN 2008
Status : Online |
Welcome back, Jen! ^_^ You know I'm very glad to have you.
Originally Posted By Starchild (4 JUL 2010 11:30am)
[img]http://roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/celebrity-pictures-amy-winehouse-behold.jpg[/img]
Well, I just began my lunch, but now I find myself quite less hungry than I was a second ago. Thanks
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| 5 JUL 2010 at 7:27am |
Starchild with a bobgunIntergalactic Janitor
Posts : 93
Joined: 22 AUG 2009
Location: NL
Status : Offline | Originally Posted By Arkadia (5 JUL 2010 12:34am)
Welcome back, Jen! ^_^ You know I'm very glad to have you.
Originally Posted By Starchild (4 JUL 2010 11:30am)
[img]http://showbizz.nieuwslog.nl/data/subdomain/306/article/20091013104427_amy_winehouse2404.jpg[/img]
Well, I just began my lunch, but now I find myself quite less hungry than I was a second ago. Thanks
Don't know what you're talking about.
:
Still Intergalactic Janitor after all these years.
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| 5 JUL 2010 at 8:04am |
TravellerGuild Master
Posts : 4040
Joined: 3 JUL 2010
Location: US
Status : Offline | Eek! If that's the same person, it's actually quite frightenening, isn't it...
Well, Arkadia, let's hope you don't go and disappear for another 6 months yourself... :-*
Heya, Loobiloo, I sent you a quick PM Nice to see you visiting the forums again too. [smiley=thumbsup.gif]
Hey, maybe this is an appropriate a place as any to share some good news which considerably lifted my spirits this weekend.
Since I'd achieved distinctions for all my subjects in the first semester exam, I've qualified for a merit bursary type thing, which means my studies AND my books for the subjects I take this coming semester, will be all paid for me, provided I pass them at a certain level. 8-) Ain't that cool?
So it's motivated me to make a decision to do my best at concentrating on my studies and not let myself get thrown off track by a few knocks along the way.
...but being an incurable chatterbox, I'll still be dilligently working at my post-count here... [smiley=blahblah.gif] [smiley=thumbsup.gif] :
* * * Just call me Trav. * * *
“Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.” - Robert Bloch
"They are not reciprocally sublated--the one does not sublate the other externally--but each sublates itself in itself and is in its own self the opposite of itself" (Hegel, from The Doctrine of Being)..."
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