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| 12 MAR 2008 at 6:50am |
Lucien21Guild Master
Posts : 4876
Joined: 9 JUL 2003
Location: 0
Status : Offline | Well I suppose charging for it is the oldest profession after all
Men on the other hand you can't put a price on, the husband is priceless.
Dear Diary, My teenage angst bullsh*t now has a bodycount.
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| 13 MAR 2008 at 12:00am |
Lady KestrelGuild Master
Posts : 4035
Joined: 27 SEP 2004
Location: US, NJ
Status : Offline | Originally Posted By Lucien21 (12 MAR 2008 6:50am)
Men on the other hand you can't put a price on, the husband is priceless.
Or worth about 2 cents.
"Where is the fountain that throws up these flowers in a ceaseless outbreak of ecstasy?"
-Rabindranath Tagore
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| 14 MAR 2008 at 4:24pm |
Mr Innocent.Journeyman
Posts : 1316
Joined: 15 JAN 2008
Location: GR
Status : Offline | Originally Posted By Caroline (11 MAR 2008 10:58pm)
You know those articles they put in the paper from time to time saying how much it would cost to hire a woman to do all the funtions a wife performs?
You mean someone would actually pay for incessant nagging? It takes all sorts...
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| 14 MAR 2008 at 9:11pm |
| Deleted User | You gotta ask yourself WHY (in your case) there's nagging....
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| 15 MAR 2008 at 1:05am |
CarolineJA+ Overseer
Posts : 16540
Joined: 28 JAN 2007
Location: AU
Status : Offline | Precisely! If the man does what he's told FIRST TIME, no one needs to repeat themselves. I mean.... how simple is that to work out....? [smiley=doh.gif]
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| 15 MAR 2008 at 2:54pm |
Lucien21Guild Master
Posts : 4876
Joined: 9 JUL 2003
Location: 0
Status : Offline | Maybe if women communicated it correctly the first time there would be no need to repeat anything.
Dr Jamie Turndorf, PhD, a couples therapist. "Because many women find it difficult to directly communicate their needs, they fall into the fatal trap of whining and nagging about what they aren't getting rather than directly stating what they want, need, or expect from their partner. Unfortunately, whining and nagging doesn't put a man into a giving mood, and a vicious cycle is born: The more her man starves her of what she wants, the more she nags and the less likely he is to be responsive to her wishes."
Dear Diary, My teenage angst bullsh*t now has a bodycount.
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| 15 MAR 2008 at 5:28pm |
InlandAZGuild Master
Posts : 5586
Joined: 4 MAY 2007
Status : Offline | Maybe if women communicated it correctly the first time there would be no need to repeat anything.
Exactly - :
Yes means no, no means yes - the horrors of being male.
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| 15 MAR 2008 at 6:42pm |
| Deleted User | Ha! Which just goes to prove you weren't listening in the first place!
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| 16 MAR 2008 at 3:40am |
InlandAZGuild Master
Posts : 5586
Joined: 4 MAY 2007
Status : Offline | Originally Posted By TheTraveler (15 MAR 2008 6:42pm)
Ha! Which just goes to prove you weren't listening in the first place!
We do try - One of my favorite quotes is from Rosanne Barr: We don't mean to lie, it just takes so damn long to explain the truth...
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| 16 MAR 2008 at 4:00am |
tmalusIntergalactic Janitor
Posts : 11
Joined: 19 NOV 2005
Status : Online | (off topic) Caroline... who's that elegant-looking lady in your avatar?
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| 16 MAR 2008 at 4:21am |
CarolineJA+ Overseer
Posts : 16540
Joined: 28 JAN 2007
Location: AU
Status : Offline | On a serious note.
Lucien has actually made a valid point. Studies show that women do indeed communicate differently when speaking to males or other females. There are a whole host of socially created reasons why females don't speak like males but the main reason has to do with power perception.
A brief example would be the way a mother can order her children to pick up their toys quite clearly and easily yet she'll hesitate to bring up (yet again) something her husband refuses to accommodate her on. Talk to any wife and she'll immediately identify several issues where this happens in her life.
If a wife has to 'nag' it's because the husband didn't respect her initial communication enough to address her request openly and honestly. Communication is two way process but it is hampered because men and women communicate in different ways and for different purposes with different social expectations upon them.
Why do women hedge and employ subtle means of transmitting their needs to their partner? Put simply, (and employing broad and unspecific generalisations), men are permitted to express their emotions which makes their mood easy to read. Women are socially conditioned (via parenting, education, the media) not to express certain 'difficult' emotions openly which then forces them to use more subtle methods of communication.
For couples, women may have figured out their man's body language within a couple of months and often expect that the man has managed the same trick. Often this is an error on her part - it will take years of intimacy for the man to understand his woman's personal code. Men are not subtle. Men really do need signposts.
The solution is for women to keep reminding themselves that talking frankly to a man is okay - he won't love her any less - and if he does, the sooner she finds that out the better. To achieve proficiency in communicating effectively with a woman a man has to actually put in some effort and respect is an essential ingredient. Unfortunately a cursory examination of the print media in any western society will show that males are still being encouraged to disrespect women and that (alarmingly) the traditional idea of female subserviance is still being presented to women. Instead of being a whizz in the kitchen (a la 1950s woman) young girls are now being tutored to be exemplary service providers in the bedroom. (For reference go no further than Ralf, Cleo and other teen magazines freely available in newsagents.)
Oh, btw, my degree that I'm studying is in Communication.
tmalus:
Sorry, I have no idea. I picked her because she looks like a much younger me - before I emigrated from UK to the land of endless sunshine and freckles.
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| 16 MAR 2008 at 8:58am |
| Deleted User | Originally Posted By InlandAZ (16 MAR 2008 3:40am)
Originally Posted By TheTraveler (15 MAR 2008 6:42pm)
Ha! Which just goes to prove you weren't listening in the first place!
We do try - One of my favorite quotes is from Rosanne Barr: We don't mean to lie, it just takes so damn long to explain the truth...
Ooh, I mustn't let my significant other see that one, he already follows it in priciple! [smiley=raise_eyebrow.gif]
Regarding Caroline's post:
I've actually been a very bad girl. On one of the other websites I belong to, I didn't state my gender, and I pretend to be a man- a bit of role-playing, if you will.
It's been a revelation to me, to just be a "badass" and say "Guy-type things" when I feel like it. Because it 'feels' so radically different, it has been a bit of an eye-opener to me how much an open-minded liberal woman of the millenium still has to "hedge" in her normal (as opposed to 'secret') life.
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| 16 MAR 2008 at 9:55am |
| Deleted User | Oh well! We get it***... eventually.
In my case, it's only taken 59½ years.
*** I meant... we poor males catch on to the feelings of "She who must be obeyed" after some(variable) period of time !!
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