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| 28 MAR 2006 at 6:31pm |
UgurIntergalactic Janitor
Posts : 45
Joined: 27 JAN 2006
Status : Offline | Here my delightfully insightful soccer game review for you:
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FIFA *Insert Year Number Here*
The latest FIFA game is yet another classic example of why soccer games is a dead subgenre. Yes, we have the authority to declare genres that are still actively producing games to be dead.
Over the years we have complained about how soccer games have consistently delivered the same content over and over again. Case in point, FIFA XXXX once again features 22 men chasing after a ball. The game utilizes the age-old system of controlling players from a 3rd person perspective and passing the ball around by pressing buttons. We cannot fathom when the developers generating impressive sales with these games and the many players that enjoy them understand soccer games have to be changed because we say so!
As if to add insult to injury, the game once again demands players to get the ball into one of the two goal posts at either end of the field. Clearly by now they should have been able to come up with a better system? And to make things even worse, the game takes place in a stadium and the grass is green!
Clearly the developers are failing to understand that you can't produce more than 3 games that feature fundamentally similar elements. Regardless of how many people enjoy your genre, it needs to change and evolve for that is how the lord intended it!
Did we mention the genre is dead yet?
Oh right... We need to assign a grade to the game. Hmm... Let's go with 3.9 out of 10 because the game not only delivers all the elements you would expect from this genre, it delivers them well.
--------------------------------------------
I hope that was helpful in the extreme.
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| 28 MAR 2006 at 7:26pm |
KsandraSchattenjger
Posts : 2459
Joined: 2 APR 2003
Status : Online | [smiley=rofl.gif] Ugur, will you marry me?
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| 28 MAR 2006 at 7:56pm |
CrapstormJourneyman
Posts : 829
Joined: 18 FEB 2004
Status : Online | Boy, two marriage proposals in this thread so far. There sure are a lot of nubile women here.
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| 28 MAR 2006 at 8:06pm |
IviniaGuild Master
Posts : 4459
Joined: 7 JUN 2003
Location: US
Status : Offline | [smiley=bowdown.gif]
Hands down Ugur, that has to be the FUNNIEST post I've read in months! [smiley=clap.gif]
You should SOOOO start a thread and do that with all the mainstream games.
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| 28 MAR 2006 at 8:30pm |
alkis21Schattenjger
Posts : 2112
Joined: 23 OCT 2002
Location: GR
Status : Offline | [smiley=laughing.gif] Class, Ugur!
We need to approach it from an adventure gamer's perspective:
FIFA XXXX
=======
Pros:
Excellent graphics
Nice music in the introduction
Lots of different characters
Character development (the players get tired and become slower)
Various camera angles
Cons:
No inventory
Too many action sequences
No dialogues
No save option during the game
Linear gameplay
Real time sequences (all games last a specific amount of time)
The story is uneven and repetitive
You cannot play with a mouse
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| 28 MAR 2006 at 8:44pm |
infernoj13usaIntergalactic Janitor
Posts : 79
Joined: 14 OCT 2002
Status : Online | Originally Posted By Betje (26 MAR 2006 1:38pm)
I've read a couple of her reviews of *indie* games at GB. They read and feel like uncritical, somewhat gushing fan reviews. There's this tendency in the community to advocate adventures, including amateur games, no matter how good or bad they are.
"gushing" Teeeheheeehee (oh, Betje --- you are such a dear...how I've missed you! )
Any reviewer who recieves payment for his thoughts and opinions is a professional. Any reviewer who does not recieve payment for his thoughts and opinions is an amateur. I find that it is true that amateurs tend to hold more passion for what they write about.
Does she ever rate a game lower than A? Scratches got an A+.
Yes, I have when I've felt that it was warranted.
I remember Inferno sincerely congratulating developers in one of her reviews!
I've offerered my congratulations in a number of pieces I've written. I'm an amatuer, after all. Just a "scribbler". If that offends your sensibilities, then maybe more than a grain of salt needs to be added. I will try my best to improve. Yet, I am flattered that they have bothered you enough to mention them.
Originally Posted By jujigatame (26 MAR 2006 6:11pm)
The numerical rating seems excessively low but I don't think it's any more out of line than the fanboyish A+ review at Game Boomers.
Shouldn't that be "fangirlish" ??? or possibly "fanfemalish" .... no, too many "f's"--- "fangirlish" would be a better choice.
One must remember that the game reviews one reads on the internet are just an opinion from a gamer who has played the game through (hopefully with no (or at least a minimal) use of a guide. They are subjective, nothing more...nothing less, and only worth the paper they are written on. I believe that there is much validity in the opinions that say "no" to an adventure, as well as those that say "yes" (whether they are resounding, placid or otherwise). The important item here is to read what you can and then formulate your own descision.
inferno
[url=http://home.earthlink.net/~angeldancer27/XpGameList.htm][font=Verdana][size=16][color=#ff3300][b]Inferno's Adventures[/b][/color][/size][/font][/url]&&&&[url=http://home.earthlink.net/~infernosadventures/My_Scribblings.htm][font=Verdana][size=14][color=#ff3300][b]My Scribblings[/b][/color][/size][/font][/url]&&
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| 28 MAR 2006 at 9:13pm |
UgurIntergalactic Janitor
Posts : 45
Joined: 27 JAN 2006
Status : Offline | Originally Posted By Ksandra (28 MAR 2006 7:26pm)
[smiley=rofl.gif] Ugur, will you marry me?
Sorry my dear, I am already married. Perhaps we can be just friends
Originally Posted By Ivinia (28 MAR 2006 8:06pm)
You should SOOOO start a thread and do that with all the mainstream games.
Sure Ivinia. If you want me to spew out more unmitigated crap, I am happy to oblige I just need to complete some actual writing assignments elsewhere first.
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| 28 MAR 2006 at 9:14pm |
alkis21Schattenjger
Posts : 2112
Joined: 23 OCT 2002
Location: GR
Status : Offline | Originally Posted By infernoj13usa (28 MAR 2006 8:43pm)
One must remember that the game reviews one reads on the internet are just an opinion from a gamer who has played the game through (hopefully with no (or at least a minimal) use of a guide. They are subjective, nothing more...nothing less, and only worth the paper they are written on. I believe that there is much validity in the opinions that say "no" to an adventure, as well as those that say "yes" (whether they are resounding, placid or otherwise). The important item here is to read what you can and then formulate your own descision.
Many people tend to rate reviews by whether they agree with the final grade or not. IMO, a good review is the one that describes the game adequately so that the player can decide for himself. I've read A+ reviews that describe the game enough for me to understand I won't like it. Even if I don't agree with the personal opinion of the reviewers, I consider them good reviews because they told me what the game was about. Likewise, I've read reviews that go on and on about how good or how bad a game is, without mentioning anything clarifying about the story, puzzles, characters etc. Those are what I consider bad reviews whether I agree with the final grade or not.
I think it should be obvious to anyone that reads Aya's or Inferno's review that Other Worlds is not a game for people who cannot tolerate technical flaws, not for people who need good graphics and sound to enjoy a game. They don't try to conceal the bad graphics, the ugly screenshots are there for everyone to see. What does the final grade matter? They describe the game's features in detail, that's what's important.
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| 29 MAR 2006 at 12:05am |
ConMolSorcerer Apprentice
Posts : 396
Joined: 10 OCT 2002
Status : Online | Alkis21, you are so right...I can't tell you how many times I've read reviews and wanted to know basic stuff like can you save anywhere?
Ugur - that was so funny! Doom 3 is Doom with really pretty graphics. Maybe if Scratches was made with the Half-Life 2 engine it would have gotten an 8 like Doom 3 did.
Again, IGN gave it a 7.7 and PCGamer's Chuck Osborn gave it an 82%. Where did a 3.9 come from? I really think it was harsh if it's reviewed against other adventures in the bargain price category.
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| 29 MAR 2006 at 12:06am |
IviniaGuild Master
Posts : 4459
Joined: 7 JUN 2003
Location: US
Status : Offline | The 3.9 came from Gamespot and went on about how AGs need to move on...
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| 29 MAR 2006 at 12:12am |
ConMolSorcerer Apprentice
Posts : 396
Joined: 10 OCT 2002
Status : Online | Oh I know Ivinia, I meant did he pull it out of his butt? It makes no sense.
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| 29 MAR 2006 at 12:27am |
IviniaGuild Master
Posts : 4459
Joined: 7 JUN 2003
Location: US
Status : Offline | I think a lot of reviewers don't notice when they are being transparent like that. I read one review in particular that went on and on about some really petty things, then gave a good score. Heck, based on their text I was expecting a low score. When you read some reviewers comments, they 'slip' here and there and its easy to make out if they already made up their mind before they even played a game.
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| 29 MAR 2006 at 12:37am |
Agustín CordesGuild Master
Posts : 5696
Joined: 23 OCT 2002
Location: AR, Buenos Aires
Status : Offline | Regardless of the score, I don't think anyone can deny that Inferno's review was well written. It has a nice majestic tone to it, quite fitting with the mood of the game. On the other hand, Gamespot's review is a meaningless rant and makes me doubt the guy even played the game. So there you go - an amateur has produced a far more professional article than, well, a supposedly professional reviewer. I've seen other reviews, with less favorable scores, but at least well written as well. However, the overall state of gaming journalism is quite depressive and Gamespot has published the prime example of this.
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| 29 MAR 2006 at 1:09am |
kuddlesPrivate Detective
Posts : 702
Joined: 22 OCT 2004
Status : Online | Originally Posted By alkis21 (28 MAR 2006 9:13pm)
Many people tend to rate reviews by whether they agree with the final grade or not. IMO, a good review is the one that describes the game adequately so that the player can decide for himself. I've read A+ reviews that describe the game enough for me to understand I won't like it. Even if I don't agree with the personal opinion of the reviewers, I consider them good reviews because they told me what the game was about.
Indeed. I've also read several reviews that convinced me that it would be worth a try, even though the reviewer seemed to be not too crazy about it. People focus too much on ratings. I prefer a review that details the positives and the negatives.
[size=10][b]Games:[/b] Europa Universalis III&&[b]Music:[/b] [i]Awoo[/i] - Hidden Cameras&&[b]Series:[/b] Dexter (S1)&&[b]Movies:[/b] The Prestige (8/10) Little Miss Sunshine (5/10)&&[/size]
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| 29 MAR 2006 at 3:35pm |
KsandraSchattenjger
Posts : 2459
Joined: 2 APR 2003
Status : Online | Review: SimCity XXXX
This game is a perfect example of why the simulation genre is dead. Its slavish devotion to outdated genre conventions proves once again that developers do not understand what modern gamers want, regardless of the fact that this latest release has sold more copies than any other SimCity game.
Whereas other recent games such as Ankh and Scratches take you on a fascinating journey to exotic locations such as ancient Egypt or a creepy haunted house, SimCity XXXX introduces players to the highly original concept of... building a city! Yes, once again, the developers appear to have produced a game that is practically a carbon copy of previous entries in the series. Not a single inventory or logic puzzle is included to break up the tedious monotony of zoning for construction, laying out power lines and placing amenities. Well over 10 years after the original SimCity was released, isn't it about time the franchise broke out of its self-imposed straitjacket and started seeking some cross-genre appeal?
The plot is non-existent, consisting entirely of a basic scenario that can be summed up in one sentence: You are a city planner and must build your city up from a small village into a massive megalopolis. I'm not kidding - that's the entire plot. To add insult to injury, the game never comes to any real conclusion: once you reach the year 2050, you can theoretically continue to play as long as you like with no further plot developments to hinder you. This, of course, in the unlikely event that you can be bothered to get to that stage in the first place.
The game is further hampered by its antiquated top-down, mouse-click interface and artificially restrictive gameplay. In a transparent effort to drag out gameplay time, the developers have deliberately placed restrictions on the funds and technology available to you at the beginning of the game, forcing you to struggle through hours of dull, repetitive micro-management before the best improvements become obtainable. But honestly, with so little reward on offer, why should anyone bother?
In conclusion: this latest entry in the SimCity series offers nothing to attract adventure gamers, or anyone else other than a few die-hard simulation fanatics. Here's hoping that it represents the last nail in the coffin of this lifeless, stagnant genre.
Final Score: 2.1/10
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| 29 MAR 2006 at 3:51pm |
UgurIntergalactic Janitor
Posts : 45
Joined: 27 JAN 2006
Status : Offline | [smiley=rofl.gif]
Excellent work! This one hits a real homerun with me as I happen to play simulation and strategy games on a semi-regular basis.
My favorite part:
"The plot is non-existent, consisting entirely of a basic scenario that can be summed up in one sentence: You are a city planner and must build your city up from a small village into a massive megalopolis. I'm not kidding - that's the entire plot."
We gotta get Randy & Val to run these on the JA homepage... Better yet, maybe we submit a joint job application to GS with these reviews as our portfolio.
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| 29 MAR 2006 at 9:41pm |
WimliGuild Master
Posts : 3259
Joined: 14 MAR 2003
Status : Offline | Originally Posted By pollodiablo (28 MAR 2006 1:42pm)
Originally Posted By Wimli (27 MAR 2006 11:35pm)
And, to get back on topic: all this talk on Scratches is nice of course, but when is this game going to be released in Europe? All general adventure games suppliers over here are, well, scratching their heads when I ask for info on this game... :-/
http://www.nucleosys.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=607
There is a UK publisher, but no information on which one and when. Patience is the keyword.
Thanks for the info Pollodiablo! I guess I can wait a little bit longer for Scratches.
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| 29 MAR 2006 at 10:12pm |
alkis21Schattenjger
Posts : 2112
Joined: 23 OCT 2002
Location: GR
Status : Offline | Originally Posted By LlihN (29 MAR 2006 9:59am)
I played the Scratches Demo. Looked interesting until I read all the hype on various Forums. A game that gets so much publicity has to be a game I will be disappointed with. Sometimes too much praise makes you wonder.
Damn it guys, LlihN figured us out. Our evil plot to first take over JA and then the world has been temporarily blocked. But all hope is not lost yet, I've got a few more good ideas. Let's go spread the rumours that:
-Monica Belucci is beautiful.
-Godfather was a good movie.
-Bears defecate in the woods.
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| 29 MAR 2006 at 10:29pm |
UgurIntergalactic Janitor
Posts : 45
Joined: 27 JAN 2006
Status : Offline | Alkis, since there is no other reason that would cause you to make these remarks, from your post I can only infer that you are dating Monica and you are related to Marlon Brando.
Seriously though, I do think LlihN's comment has some merit. The causal reader might wonder about the justification for the praise and might even be right sometimes. But that shouldn't mean we have to be afraid to praise a friend for doing a good job.
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| 29 MAR 2006 at 10:38pm |
alkis21Schattenjger
Posts : 2112
Joined: 23 OCT 2002
Location: GR
Status : Offline | Originally Posted By Ugur (29 MAR 2006 10:28pm)
Alkis, since there is no other reason that would cause you to make these remarks, from your post I can only infer that you are dating Monica and you are related to Marlon Brando.
I bet you tried to think of a bear reference too but couldn't make it.
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| 29 MAR 2006 at 10:57pm |
UgurIntergalactic Janitor
Posts : 45
Joined: 27 JAN 2006
Status : Offline | Ha ha! Here you go:
If we use this meaning of defecate: "to free from impurity or corruption"
You must be a ranger working at the Yellostone National Park and Yogi's best friend.
OR
If we use the second meaning: "to discharge from the anus"
You must secretly sneak into the woods every evening and then blame your crap on the poor innocent bears that have not even left their caves all winter.
Good enough?
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| 29 MAR 2006 at 11:02pm |
alkis21Schattenjger
Posts : 2112
Joined: 23 OCT 2002
Location: GR
Status : Offline | You should stop wasting your time in the forum and start writing stories for adventure games. I promise not to over praise them.
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| 29 MAR 2006 at 11:32pm |
UgurIntergalactic Janitor
Posts : 45
Joined: 27 JAN 2006
Status : Offline | I'll write the story, you can design the puzzles, Agustin's team can help us with the graphics. And then we'll get Aya to call it "Possibly the best adventure game in year ????" (depending on when we release it)
But I am afraid all hell would break loose and divine fury would descend upon us from heavens as the Just Adventure forum collapses in on itself to form a new black hole.
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| 30 MAR 2006 at 12:35am |
| Deleted User | Originally Posted By infernoj13usa (28 MAR 2006 8:43pm)
"gushing" Teeeheheeehee (oh, Betje --- you are such a dear...how I've missed you! )
Heh. The pleasure is all mine... all the more so because we've never met before, have we...
Any reviewer who recieves payment for his thoughts and opinions is a professional. Any reviewer who does not recieve payment for his thoughts and opinions is an amateur. I find that it is true that amateurs tend to hold more passion for what they write about.
So? To the best of my knowledge, no-one is getting paid for writing official site reviews at any of the well-known adventure fan sites, including JA. Some of those amateur reviewers write terrific professional reviews, others write terrible amateur reviews.
Your congratulations and gushing tone -- "thank you, thank you for this wild adventure!" are in my not very humble opinion just as bad as Aya's "all that garnished with a great deal of humor, that will have you rolling on the floor laughing – that is, if you can appreciate good humor". If the game doesn't make me laugh, I have no sense of humor...? Both you and Aya make it abundantly clear that you have chosen not to write an objective review. You take the side of the developer.
Yes, I have when I've felt that it was warranted.
Delighted to hear it. You gave Bad Mojo an A++ though. You're devaluing the rating system. Do you need a new letter?
I've offerered my congratulations in a number of pieces I've written. I'm an amatuer, after all. Just a "scribbler". If that offends your sensibilities, then maybe more than a grain of salt needs to be added. I will try my best to improve. Yet, I am flattered that they have bothered you enough to mention them.
Actually, Alkis mentioned your review as proof that someone who doesn't know him personally, enjoyed his game so much that they gave it an A. I followed his link and read your review diagonally. You may not know him personally, but you tried to personalize your review by devoting the first few paragraphs to Alkis himself. I'm sure lots of fanboys and girls love reading about Alkis in navy uniform, but I am just interested in the game. And i'm not the only one. I feel you and Aya and all the other biased people who embrace every single new adventure and get outraged at the first sign of criticism, are doing the adventure community a real disservice.
The double standard, that was my point, remember? It was not about your reviews at all. But I guess you haven't read what my point was and couldn't care less.
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