| 27 MAR 2006 at 11:05pm |
ShadowWalkerJourneyman
Posts : 997
Joined: 27 JUL 2005
Status : Offline | Hello There!
Completely undestood. Sorry for the misunderstanding too...
I was neither chastising or attacking you Pastor Disaster.....
No harm meant......
|
| 27 MAR 2006 at 11:15pm |
| Deleted User | [img]http://www.thenarrative.net/archive/ditchhim.jpg[/img]
(oh, I hope I am perfectly clear)
|
| 27 MAR 2006 at 11:31pm |
SirDaveGuild Master
Posts : 4941
Joined: 17 OCT 2002
Location: US
Status : Offline | Hey, I knew that guy!
The future ain't what it used to be!
|
| 27 MAR 2006 at 11:36pm |
ShadowWalkerJourneyman
Posts : 997
Joined: 27 JUL 2005
Status : Offline | Hello There!
Don't tell me that you used to hang out together!
|
| 27 MAR 2006 at 11:37pm |
AvatarPrivate Detective
Posts : 661
Joined: 3 JAN 2004
Status : Online | Originally Posted By Sir Funkenstein jr. (27 MAR 2006 11:15pm)
(oh, I hope I am perfectly clear)
couldn't be clearer
My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.&&&&The measure of civility in a society is not how it treats those that are loved, but how it treats those that are hated.
|
| 27 MAR 2006 at 11:41pm |
ShadowWalkerJourneyman
Posts : 997
Joined: 27 JUL 2005
Status : Offline | Hello There!
Nothing beats a spring cleaning of all your closets.
Maybe you can auction him off on Ebay
|
| 28 MAR 2006 at 12:34am |
CarolineJA+ Overseer
Posts : 16540
Joined: 28 JAN 2007
Location: AU
Status : Offline | Some of you know I'm studying Communication at University. Well, tI'm currently sitting here reading reams about computer mediated relationships and summarising said chapters to hand up this afternoon.
So, no, don't panic. Your secrets are all safe with me. I won't be adding my own findings to the pile. [smiley=devil_smiley_grintail.gif]
It's just odd reading stuff about people's research into web communities and how some researchers conclude that real friendship is impossible and others who find the exact opposite. It would appear that the researchers, when deciding which qualities define friendship cite emotional reactions, emotional support and real life tension experienced as a result of flaming.
For rational beings, it seems we use our emotions to define our reality.
Okay, enough lecturing, I've got stuff to hand up. I can't be sitting here nattering to you guys all day. although I'd like to).
|
| 28 MAR 2006 at 1:15am |
ShadowWalkerJourneyman
Posts : 997
Joined: 27 JUL 2005
Status : Offline | Hello There!
But........... What benchmark are the researchers using to come to those conclusions. True, we are rational and emotional beings who define or social ties enormeously with our emotions.
However, the web community is relatively new and many of the people using it, particularly the very young, have in many cases due to the use of the computer, neither had the opportunity to learn the rules of social interactions on an open environment; school yards, football fields, community gatherings, etc.
More and more people are beginning to spend more time on the computer and online than interacting directly and physically with others. If we are rational and social animals, and much of our interactions are learned dealing with others in the manner of the old ways. (before computers), the use of computers in such an unprecedented large amount of our times, certainly will change the rules of how we either interact and how "we" will perceive kinship ties. (the new benchmark).
Does this new benchmark provide for a better, similar, or worse ability to interact with others, learn to interact with others, and forge our new age alliances. And what constitutes a better or worse standard.
You cannot use the old standards to gage the new.
What standards do these researchers use, and how accurate are they in the light of this "brave new world".
|
| 28 MAR 2006 at 2:56am |
CarolineJA+ Overseer
Posts : 16540
Joined: 28 JAN 2007
Location: AU
Status : Offline | Shadow
Very perceptive of you. There is amazingly little academic research being done into this field. What exists is mostly popular journalism full of anecdotal evidence of the reality of such relationships.
At the moment academia is stuck in the 'is it real or not' and 'how do we measure real anyway' argument. Meanwhile real people are rewriting real life every cyber second.
What stands out while I am reading this stuff is a) the authors' own expectations and personalities affect their experience of cyber friendship and thus colour their findings, b) the old ideas of attraction and visual cues are still being taken as the gold standard when clearly the facts show something different and c) the transitory nature of cyber friendships isn't unique to the internet, we see such fleeting liaisons in physical interactions as well.
One of the interesting things was 80% of people involved in online communities do so because they are seeking the companionship of others not simply looking for data. Therefore, the people themselves, by seeking to satisfy their own social hunger are what is driving the nature of the internet communities. In other words, people are simply using it as another means to find each other. So much for academics. They ponder and think while the rest of us simply do.
|
| 28 MAR 2006 at 6:43pm |
Terry PenrodGrand Inquisitor
Posts : 6693
Joined: 16 OCT 2004
Location: US, Texas
Status : Offline | .
I agree Pirate Girl with one exception.
At least some of us do ponder and think - for a reasonable period of time - and then we act.
Cheers, Terry
|
| 28 MAR 2006 at 10:49pm |
anthonyJourneyman
Posts : 1270
Joined: 11 JUN 2003
Status : Offline | Originally Posted By Mightiest Girl Pirate (27 MAR 2006 10:04pm)
When my son started school I watched close up 3 divorces where the men all followed the same path. They cheated, initiated the sale of their family home under the false premise of moving (in 2 cases, interstate) and once the assets were liquidated they revealed their new woman, filed for divorce thus grabbing 50% and leaving the mother of their children (in all cases + 2 kids) homeless and abandoned.
With young kids the mothers would have stood a good chance of getting to keep the family home until the children left school at which time it would have been sold. What bastards some men can be when they no longer want sex from the mother of their kids. Being cruel to the wife is one issue, but abandonning their kids is unforgiveable. >
Yes, that was quite devious, Caroline. Those men clearly knew that if they initiated divorce while they still owned the house, the wife and kids would have been permitted to live there until the kids were emancipated. So they came up with a phony reason to sell the house prior to divorce.
I do understand why the law would permit the wife to remain in the house when there are kids involved. It minimizes the impact of the divorce on the lives of those children, not requiring them to move or to change schools or to make new friends. But I can also see how this result would be perceived as unfair by the man. His economic situation is altered drastically. He gets a small studio apartment, lives out of cardboard boxes, has no furniture, no stereo, no cable tv. He sees her life as essentially unchanged, there she is relaxing on what used to be "his" couch with her new boyfriend, watching the big screen tv that was his birthday present last year, while her new boyfriend's car is parked on the driveway that he blacktopped last summer.
Has he abandoned his kids? Perhaps he has simply come to accept that, because he cannot prove that his wife is drug dealer, he has no chance at custody and she will be calling all the shots now: what schools they will go to; what activities they will participate in; what curfew they will have; what television programs they will watch. He will no longer have any input on these issues. And, while child support is intended to cover the cost of raising them, there is no requirement that she actually spend the money on the children. She can cash that check and simply buy a new wardrobe now that she's on the dating scene again.
Well, you can see what I'm doing here. I'm tinkering with the facts to make the equities favor the husband. You can easily do the same and make them favor the wife. The bottom line is that the very same law that doesn't do enough to protect the wife in one situation, imposes an unjust punishment on the husband in another situation. I'm not sure anything can be done to prevent all instances of unfairness in all cases. I think someone will always get the worst of it. The husband who gets hammered in divorce court with exceedingly onerous financial obligations will endeavor to escape them by fleeing to Europe, leaving the wife and kids in a lurch.
By the way Avatar, sorry I keep hijacking your thread to talk about issues that may not concern you. Although you may be depressed at the thought of being single again, you should keep in mind there is no better place in the world than Manhattan to be unattached. It has everything for every taste. Perhaps you should take this opportunity to do some of those things that you always wanted to do, but never did because he wasn't interested.
|
| 29 MAR 2006 at 4:04pm |
ShadowWalkerJourneyman
Posts : 997
Joined: 27 JUL 2005
Status : Offline | Hello There!
Hi Avatar..... Did the Shiatsu web sites help you any!
Have you been able to relieve your insomnia, and being able to recharge your batteries.....
How are you both feeling and dealing plans to make your day go through!
|
| 29 MAR 2006 at 4:13pm |
AvatarPrivate Detective
Posts : 661
Joined: 3 JAN 2004
Status : Online | Hello all!!
I'm feeling pretty good today, considering last night was our first round of marriage "counseling" and I feel like I was kicked in the stomach. It brought back all these feelings of anger and pissed-off-ness that I felt a few weeks ago. I dont' know if it went well - I ended up being a sobbing, crying, blubbering mess... and he seemed to be pretty indifferent to it all (although that, of course, was my interpretation.)
My shrink gave me an AMAZING book to read, though, and it's really something that's speaking me at an amazing level. I can't tell you how much of this book makes sense. I'm going to have to buy copies so that i can read and mark some up until they fall apart and then have more to read again. There are some parts that I'm not ready for yet, but so far, it's really helping me through things.
The insomnia comes and goes - some nights I'm great (last night was AWESOME - first time in 3 weeks I've slept all the way through the night YAY!) And sometimes not. But that's okay... slow improvement is good.
I've decided that if I don't find a job in the next few weeks, I'm going to take my settlement and go on a trip to Africa or something. Who wants to come?
My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.&&&&The measure of civility in a society is not how it treats those that are loved, but how it treats those that are hated.
|
| 29 MAR 2006 at 4:40pm |
ShadowWalkerJourneyman
Posts : 997
Joined: 27 JUL 2005
Status : Offline | Hello There!
So....you will fulfill your lifelong dream of..................
becoming a missionary?
or live with the gorillas?
hunt with the lions?
scratch up with the monkeys?
or possibly chuck it all.................through caution to the wind and become the first naked photographer to shoot the mating rituals of the wild dogs of africa.
|
| 29 MAR 2006 at 4:43pm |
AvatarPrivate Detective
Posts : 661
Joined: 3 JAN 2004
Status : Online | Originally Posted By ShadowWalker (29 MAR 2006 4:40pm)
So....you will fulfill your lifelong dream of..................
um.... going to africa.... and seeing a giraffe in the wild.
become the first naked photographer to shoot the mating rituals of the wild dogs of africa.
well, now there's a thought. if you're going to be a naked photographer, i guess it's best to do it in Africa (as opposed to Antarctica or something.)
My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.&&&&The measure of civility in a society is not how it treats those that are loved, but how it treats those that are hated.
|
| 29 MAR 2006 at 5:43pm |
ShadowWalkerJourneyman
Posts : 997
Joined: 27 JUL 2005
Status : Offline | Hello There!
That's the spirit!
Think of all the detergent and softener you will save......
And no ironing either!
You will be able to pack light!
Just watch it with the thorns, and specially the mosquitoes.
On second thought, maybe keep the clothes....
I would feel sad and very guilty hearing that you were eaten by mosquitoes!
And knowing Africa.....I wonder how "BIG" they may be!
Seriously....So you like giraffes....Why!?
Just curious...
http://www.sandiegozoo.org/animalbytes/t-giraffe.html
http://www.nature-wildlife.com/girtxt.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giraffe
http://www.kidsplanet.org/factsheets/giraffe.html
You will like this one Avatar..
http://www.oaklandzoo.org/atoz/azgiraf.html
|
| 29 MAR 2006 at 5:48pm |
AvatarPrivate Detective
Posts : 661
Joined: 3 JAN 2004
Status : Online | Originally Posted By ShadowWalker (29 MAR 2006 5:43pm)
Seriously....So you like giraffes....Why!?
Tall, blonde, thin.... it was my nickname in high school. (I think they meant it to be mean, but I've since changed that connotation.) I just think they're gorgeous... majestic. Just a thing I have about giraffes..
oh and dolphins too. but very few of them are in africa.
My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.&&&&The measure of civility in a society is not how it treats those that are loved, but how it treats those that are hated.
|
| 29 MAR 2006 at 6:02pm |
ShadowWalkerJourneyman
Posts : 997
Joined: 27 JUL 2005
Status : Offline | Hello There!
Oh! Yes..... Dolphins.....
Those are my favorites......Always playful and smiling.
But.....be careful Avatar......I had a friend who went to Florida, and he says that he saw one of the dolphins snap the finger of one of the trainers till it blead profusely!
http://www.fishingnj.org/artdolphagress.htm
I believe that this is quite true!
It is a beautiful mammal, but care must be taken apparently!
|
| 29 MAR 2006 at 6:15pm |
Sandy_SleuthPrivate Detective
Posts : 556
Joined: 22 JUL 2005
Status : Online | Originally Posted By Avatar (29 MAR 2006 5:48pm)
Originally Posted By ShadowWalker (29 MAR 2006 5:43pm)
Seriously....So you like giraffes....Why!?
Tall, blonde, thin.... it was my nickname in high school. I think they meant it to be mean, but I've since changed that connotation.) I just think they're gorgeous... majestic. Just a thing I have about giraffes..
oh and dolphins too. but very few of them are in africa.
Hi Avatar!
I'm so glad you got a good night's rest! Really makes a difference!
I also would LOVE to go to Africa!! I think Giraffes and all the animals are awesome!
My passion is with the big cats! How cool it would be to see them up close! Well, not to close!
I Love dolphins too! The "Spinners" are my favorite!
Please check your PM's!!
|
| 29 MAR 2006 at 7:44pm |
snowtimeJourneyman
Posts : 1014
Joined: 28 JUN 2005
Status : Online | I've been a bit busy lately so I've only just had chance to catch up. Glad you're feeling better.
Now you've had chance to reflect, do you think anything useful came out of the counselling?
By the way, what was the book?
D
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
|
| 29 MAR 2006 at 8:14pm |
EvaGuild Master
Posts : 3247
Joined: 5 NOV 2002
Status : Offline | Originally Posted By Avatar (29 MAR 2006 4:13pm)
I've decided that if I don't find a job in the next few weeks, I'm going to take my settlement and go on a trip to Africa or something. Who wants to come?
I'm game! I went for a week last year and it definitely wasn't long enough.
The giraffes were the animals we got the closest to in an open car...they're beautiful and very strange creatures.
|
| 29 MAR 2006 at 8:18pm |
MaraPrivate Detective
Posts : 542
Joined: 6 JUL 2007
Status : Offline | Hello Avatar. You don't know me; I'm new to this forum. I haven't wanted to post in this thread because it seems presumptuous of a newcomer to give you advice as I don't really know you.
But I like the idea of the trip to Africa. I think its healthy to spend time and money on yourself. A trip like that can be a once-in-a-lifetime experience and I think you should go for it.
Please forgive me for butting in. You have a lot of very special friends on this board.
Mara
|
| 29 MAR 2006 at 8:22pm |
AvatarPrivate Detective
Posts : 661
Joined: 3 JAN 2004
Status : Online | Originally Posted By Mara (29 MAR 2006 8:18pm)
Please forgive me for butting in. You have a lot of very special friends on this board.
And now it seems I have another friend.... thank you for butting in... butting is (mostly always) welcome.
And welcome to the group.... as you can see, they are quite an amazing group.
My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.&&&&The measure of civility in a society is not how it treats those that are loved, but how it treats those that are hated.
|
| 29 MAR 2006 at 8:36pm |
| Deleted User | Originally Posted By Mara (29 MAR 2006 8:18pm)
You have a lot of very special friends on this board.
Friends with wellthought advice:
[img]http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0897932838.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg[/img]
|
