| 12 MAR 2006 at 2:14am |
CarolineJA+ Overseer
Posts : 16540
Joined: 28 JAN 2007
Location: AU
Status : Offline | Oh gosh, when you told me 'personal issues' were keeping you away I knew you meant marriage.
I don't think just one cry is going to be enough. :'( :'( :'(
I wish my arms were long enough to give you a hug dear, I really do. :-*
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| 12 MAR 2006 at 2:14am |
MissBSchattenjger
Posts : 2217
Joined: 15 OCT 2002
Status : Online | OMG!! I'm so sorry!! I know how bad that can hurt as I've been there, too. The words don't really exist to explain the pain, do they?
If there's anything I can do, e-mail/IM/write/call/show up at my house.....whatever you need.
My name is Bethany and I'm the daughter of Gamergal/Michelle.
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| 12 MAR 2006 at 2:33am |
Peter DoyleIntergalactic Janitor
Posts : 86
Joined: 28 MAR 2006
Status : Online | Although it's probably the last thing you feel like doing right now, this is the time to make some serious and far-reaching decisions.
The main one is, do you want to stay with him? Can you ever trust him again? Could you handle living with him if you didn't?
In the meantime, cutting the crotch out of every single pair of pants he owns will be very cathartic for you.
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| 12 MAR 2006 at 3:30am |
CarolineJA+ Overseer
Posts : 16540
Joined: 28 JAN 2007
Location: AU
Status : Offline | If you have been 'sharing' him, (and therefore his girl's ex-partners too) get an AIDS test and all the other tests - and tell him. Sorry, but that's the reality of life today.
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| 12 MAR 2006 at 3:46am |
KingRyanSorcerer Apprentice
Posts : 281
Joined: 25 JAN 2004
Status : Online | I am, perhaps, a bit too young to understand the complexity of this situation. Nevertheless, I wanted to express my most heartfelt sympathies, and I hope you find a way to work thing out. Breathe .......
[size=14][b]Currently Playing:[/b]&&Sherlock Holmes: Nemesis[/size]
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| 12 MAR 2006 at 4:11am |
AvatarPrivate Detective
Posts : 661
Joined: 3 JAN 2004
Status : Online | I just took a mild (doctor-prescribed) sedative, so I'm going to go and pass out for a while. But wanted to say thank you for all of your kind words, and for your support. I'm constantly amazed and surprised by the people on this forum, and appreciate you guys more than you know.
I'm alternately angry, sad, liberated, exhausted, hyperactive, realistic, fatalistic, and optimistic, depending on the moment.... but with my mom's spirit watching over me, I'm sure that whatever will happen will be for the best...
Thank you again....
My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.&&&&The measure of civility in a society is not how it treats those that are loved, but how it treats those that are hated.
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| 12 MAR 2006 at 4:22am |
AlpineSorcerer Apprentice
Posts : 310
Joined: 16 OCT 2002
Status : Online | Originally Posted By Avatar (12 MAR 2006 1:57am)
And I need friends now more than ever. You have a lot of friends here at JA. I'm very, very sorry, Avatar :'(
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| 12 MAR 2006 at 5:09am |
Terry PenrodGrand Inquisitor
Posts : 6693
Joined: 16 OCT 2004
Location: US, Texas
Status : Offline | .
Sorry for having missed this thread earlier Avatar. Hopefully by now you are getting a much needed good night's sleep and that's always helpful.
Having been through a divorce myself, I know how terribly stressful and painful a break-up can be no matter the reasons. And assuming you do decide to part ways with your husband, all I can offer is a promise that it does in fact get easier to deal with the awful emotions in time. Eventually, you just get over it and move on with your life. If you're lucky like me, you will also meet someone even better one day - someone who will not lie and cheat on you.
In any event, please take care and let us know how you're feeling after you get some rest.
Cheers, Terry
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| 12 MAR 2006 at 7:43am |
EvaGuild Master
Posts : 3247
Joined: 5 NOV 2002
Status : Offline | I'm so sorry to hear this...Where is that hug smiley?
I guess figuring out what to do now isn't going to be easy. But we're all here for you.
:-*
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| 12 MAR 2006 at 8:05am |
MichalNGrand Inquisitor
Posts : 7058
Joined: 14 SEP 2003
Status : Online | Don't do anything you'd regret later.
Keep in mind that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and this is very unlikely to kill you.
I wish you the best of luck.
I forgot my sig.
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| 12 MAR 2006 at 10:08am |
AvatarPrivate Detective
Posts : 661
Joined: 3 JAN 2004
Status : Online | well, after 4 hours of poor sleep, i'm back up again. i have to say, for so many people who are cheating / being cheated on in this world, if they all have sleeping issues like i do, no wonder we're all so cranky all the time.
and just for the record, new york city is really boring at about 4:30am on Sunday mornings.
My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.&&&&The measure of civility in a society is not how it treats those that are loved, but how it treats those that are hated.
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| 12 MAR 2006 at 10:32am |
EvaGuild Master
Posts : 3247
Joined: 5 NOV 2002
Status : Offline | I thought that city never slept...
But I guess most places are boring at that time.
What are you going to do now?
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| 12 MAR 2006 at 12:22pm |
colpetSchattenjger
Posts : 1630
Joined: 12 APR 2003
Status : Offline | I really feel for you, having been there too. All I can say is that I now look back at the betrayal, and think of all the wonderful things I have in my life now that I would have missed out had I stayed with that person. Despite being angry and hurt at the time, I've got over it and wouldn't go back and change it for anything. Time will help heal and open new doors.
On a somewhat similar topic, I recently got this E-mail fromn a friend:
CURTAIN RODS
She spent the first day packing her belongings
into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day,
she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at
their beautiful dining room table by candlelight,
put on some soft background music, and feasted on
a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle
of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every
room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells
dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the ex-husband returned with his new girlfriend,
all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly,
the house began to smell. They tried everything,
cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets
were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters,
during which they had to move out for a few days,
and in the end they even paid to replace the
expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused
to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they
could not take the stench any longer and decided
to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price
in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky
house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local
realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they
had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things
were going. He told her the saga of the rotting
house. She listened politely, and said that she
missed her old home terribly, and would be willing
to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for
getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had
no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price
that was about 1/10th of what the house had been
worth, but only if she were to sign the papers
that very day. She agreed, and within the hour
his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood
smiling as they watched the moving company pack
everything to take to their new home,
including the curtain rods.
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU????
Occasionally visiting Uru Live (KI 0063722 .&&
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| 12 MAR 2006 at 1:18pm |
ValGuild Master
Posts : 3467
Joined: 2 OCT 2002
Location: US
Status : Offline | Oh Avatar... I'm so very very sorry.... :'( :'( :'( :'(
Deep sadness and anger for what is being done to you... (I could say whollllle lot more but this isn't the place)
Please let me/us know if there is anything we can do to make things even a little better...
:'(
We can be heroes, just for one day.
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| 12 MAR 2006 at 2:48pm |
| Deleted User | Gosh, this is so depressing... :'(
I offer you my fullest sympathy, but I can't fully understand how this sort of thing must feel. It must be so hurting to have the one you love(d) betraying you like this!
I guess it's inevitable that people are going to meet other people that make them reconsider their relationships. But there are different ways of handling it. If it ever happened to me, I would try to be honest to my partner about it. Going behind your partner's back is just despicable behavior! If he still loves and cares about you, he should not have done what he did. In some time, he will probably realize his mistake and try to apologize, if it was a mistake... If not, he's not worth your company anymore!
I guess the best thing for you would be to get away from him for a while. Makes him realize what life is like without you around, and what he's losing. Gives you time to think about the situation. Did you feel that something was missing in your relationship preceding this? Did you have doubts about the marriage? Did he give you the attention you deserved lately? I guess you have to face such questions now. First by your self, and then- maybe- in discussions with him. If both of you come to a stage when you feel you're ready to talk about it. If he's not trying hard enough to get back on your good side, you just have to move on. Remember, some years from now you might realize that this change in your life turned out to be the best thing that could happen to you. It probably sounds horribly cliché, but you shouldn't blame yourself! Allow yourself some anger, but don't let it make you depressed! Remember, we're watching over you!
Listen to me, the single guy acting marriage counselor... : Anyway, at least you should know that you're not alone.
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| 12 MAR 2006 at 5:05pm |
HelenGuild Master
Posts : 3436
Joined: 12 OCT 2002
Location: US
Status : Offline | (((((Avatar)))))
Im SO sorry to hear this, I dont even know what else to say except I cant even pretend to know your pain, I hope you can work this out one way or another, 10 years is alot to go down the drain. But stay strong as hard as it is.
You deserve better than this. Im truly sorry this has happened to you.
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| 12 MAR 2006 at 7:06pm |
SkyeSorcerer Apprentice
Posts : 348
Joined: 20 OCT 2002
Status : Online | Life can be so cruel sometimes :-? The best advice I can give you for this terrible time in you life is:
be very careful of the music you listen to at this time. Our brains have a habit of associating events in our lives with music that we listen to at those times. I know more than a few people who have thought that listening to their favourite music in time of crisis will make them feel better. The problem is that down the road when they listen to their favourite pieces all they can think of is the heartache they felt months, even years ago.
Be very careful. Associations of the mind are a powerful thing [smiley=crazy.gif]
I do hope that things get sorted. It is not going to be an easy road but I know you will be stronger in the end. My heartfelt sympathies go out to you Avatar.
Skye
Indie Developer of Scavenger Hunter&&The Replayable Adventure Game!&&- 4,446 scenes, 5,796 overlays,&&- First Indie Adventure Game&& To Use A.I. Randomizer Technology,&&- 7 years in the making!!! RELEASED !!!&&&&Order yours now at:&&[url]http://www.Sagewood-Software.ca[/url]
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| 12 MAR 2006 at 9:21pm |
AvatarPrivate Detective
Posts : 661
Joined: 3 JAN 2004
Status : Online | Originally Posted By Skye (12 MAR 2006 7:05pm)
Life can be so cruel sometimes :-? The best advice I can give you for this terrible time in you life is:
be very careful of the music you listen to at this time.
okay, that's officially the weirdest advice i've gotten.... thank you for putting a smile on my face. and thank you all for your words of support... it really means a lot.
now, on top of this, i still have 5 weeks to find a job.... life sure keeps you on your toes, doesn't it.... :-/
My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.&&&&The measure of civility in a society is not how it treats those that are loved, but how it treats those that are hated.
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| 13 MAR 2006 at 2:08am |
MissBSchattenjger
Posts : 2217
Joined: 15 OCT 2002
Status : Online | When my ex-husband told me he was leaving me, I immediately took off my shoes and threw them at his head, all the while screaming that, "Oh yeah? Well, I'm pregnant!" Which I wasn't, but it scared the sh!t out of him. And then when he tried to discuss "the baby" with me the next day, I told him it wasn't his.... [smiley=rofl.gif] [smiley=rofl.gif] Damn, that was funny!
My name is Bethany and I'm the daughter of Gamergal/Michelle.
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| 13 MAR 2006 at 2:37am |
Jeroen StoutSchattenjger
Posts : 2798
Joined: 14 NOV 2003
Status : Online | Originally Posted By Michelle (13 MAR 2006 2:08am)
When my ex-husband told me he was leaving me, I immediately took off my shoes and threw them at his head, all the while screaming that, "Oh yeah? Well, I'm pregnant!" Which I wasn't, but it scared the sh!t out of him. And then when he tried to discuss "the baby" with me the next day, I told him it wasn't his.... [smiley=rofl.gif] [smiley=rofl.gif] Damn, that was funny!
And cruel.
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| 13 MAR 2006 at 3:35am |
MissBSchattenjger
Posts : 2217
Joined: 15 OCT 2002
Status : Online | Originally Posted By The Parrot (13 MAR 2006 2:37am)
And cruel.
Yeah, well, what goes around, comes around. I believe he was the cruel one when you consider the fact that he had no problem with abandoning his wife and daughter. In fact, he's lucky I didn't do worse.
My name is Bethany and I'm the daughter of Gamergal/Michelle.
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| 13 MAR 2006 at 3:53am |
CarolineJA+ Overseer
Posts : 16540
Joined: 28 JAN 2007
Location: AU
Status : Offline | Michelle, you're a gold mine.
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| 13 MAR 2006 at 2:44pm |
snowtimeJourneyman
Posts : 1014
Joined: 28 JUN 2005
Status : Online | Avatar
I'm so sorry to hear this.
I won't offer you any wise words of advice, because everyone is different and you will have to find your own way of dealing with this. But you are in my thoughts and it's pretty clear that everyone here is ready to support you in whatever ways we can.
Take care of yourself.
David
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
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| 13 MAR 2006 at 2:51pm |
kuddlesPrivate Detective
Posts : 702
Joined: 22 OCT 2004
Status : Online | Originally Posted By The Parrot (13 MAR 2006 2:37am)
And cruel.
I find cruel to be the best kind of funny.
And I hope you feel better, Avatar. on't know what you're going through, but I'm sure it sucks. I was "the third person" at one time though, so I have a better idea of what he's feeling, or should be feeling.
[size=10][b]Games:[/b] Europa Universalis III&&[b]Music:[/b] [i]Awoo[/i] - Hidden Cameras&&[b]Series:[/b] Dexter (S1)&&[b]Movies:[/b] The Prestige (8/10) Little Miss Sunshine (5/10)&&[/size]
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