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Son of Games You Won't Believe!
Having too much time on my hands, I once again fell prey to the itch to hunt down relatively obscure websites. Surely, I thought, after my last foray into the netherworld of the World Wide Web, it would be impossible to discover any more oddities on the order of Xmas Carnage or Cow Hunter. I was wrong ... very wrong. Once again, the following games are real. I have not changed a word from the website text and have also provided links. The game's descriptions speak for themselves. Just Adventure's thoughts are only included in bold at the end of each excerpt. It is now time to leave all inhibitions aside as you step into the twilight zone of computer gaming and prepare to play ...
Oh my gosh, this company is located only a mile away from where I live in Pittsburgh! Run, Randy, hide while you can!
You are Slinus 181 and you have the worst job in your planet's armed forces. Your mission is to locate all data energy left behind by earlier missions to planet 3. The data energy points are stored in fields around the world. You must locate these points and land on them (using the spacebar) to absorb their energy (leaving an artistic circular impression behind) before you run out of fuel. Once you've absorbed all the data from a particular field you get to go onto the next one until all fields are clear. Once you have cleared the last field, you will be allowed to move up to the second worst job in the fleet. And the second worst job in the fleet would be what--playing this game?
As an experienced MS Flight Simulator pilot, you've honed your flying skills taking off and landing at dozens of airports around the world. Now that you've built up hundreds of hours refining your techniques, you're ready to take on the toughest of the tough. And the upcoming new Dangerous Airports definitely brings you the tough ones. These airports were carefully chosen to challenge your nerve - to see if you can work under stress. Based on actual pilot reports, we bring you some of the world's most DANGEROUS AIRPORTS. What makes these airports so dangerous? These airports are all located hundreds or thousands of miles apart. But in a word - what makes these airports dangerous is the surrounding "terrain". Weather, high altitude, narrow approaches and hidden runways all add to the challenge. What really makes these airports so dangerous is that all of the pilots only practiced in office chairs, not cockpits.
In FLY HUNTER, you'll pilot a high-tech NANOCHINE into combat against hordes of tiny adversaries, from the mundane to the maniacal. It's up to you to save lunch, and then save the world. From the end-tables of the rich and famous, to the toilets of the slumlords, you'll go where no geek has gone before. Join us, won't you? Every copy ships with a pile of fake dog poo and a scratch 'n' sniff card.
Spitwar Ever get so mad you could spit? Well don't! You might short out your keyboard! Instead, play Spitwar. Choose one of 6 heroes, and battle it out. You can even play against your friends over an IPX network.
Every parent's dream game, "C'mon kids, let's play this new Spitwar game that teaches you how to spit at each other for fun!"
Features:
Harry is the kind of guy who makes Dangerous Airports dangerous.
Laugh if you will, but if this game was by ID and set in an American mall you would have to shoot, bludgeon and avoid muggers on your way to the cash register. Pie Jackers is our fast, funny, first-person race game. It is the year 2020 - so look sharp! There is lots of competition in the Pizza Delivery business. Customers broadcast their orders and the Pie Jackers all race to deliver the pie and collect the tip. Rough-stuff Pizza Delivery in seven cartoon worlds, with Cheech Marin, Cyndi Lauper & Gary Williams!
Just when I was worried that Cheech Marin, Cyndi Lauper, and Gary Williams's careers were over! |
Welcome
to the wonderful world of the Sea Monkeys®! The cultural icons of the 1970's
are back and available for your PC. Take them home, turn them on and let the fun
begin. These electronic pets are yours to keep and love. Wait like an expectant
parent as your Sea Monkey hatches. Is it a boy or a girl? Name them, tame them
and explore their world. Play with them and love them as you learn the things
they learn. With objects to interact with in every room of their house, your journey
of discovery is endless. Watch your Sea Monkey's personality take shape and fall
in love with the Sea Monkeys all over again. With over 25,000 frames of animation
and hundreds of different actions, the title will provide incredible replay value.
Nanotainment
Five
Hamster Republic games staring Bob the Hamster including our favorite:
Meet
Harry. He is handsome? He is an executive? He is hilarious! He is the stereotypical
bureaucrat that we all love to hate and make fun of. He occupies the management
"swivel chair" with a charm and grace that is not to be denied but that
must be laughed at. Harry is employed by ScumCo, but he is bothered by the fact
that he does not know what they do. He can handle an industrial-strength staple
gun with one hand and steal your donut with the other. What a guy.
Mall
Maniacs - the first Shopping racer game in the world! A family adventure where
a bunch of crazy "Maniacs" fight it out over goods of real brands in
amazing Super Market environments. Sprint, ram, and push your way to the cash
registers in The Foodchase, The Quiz, The Foodfight and The Cart Race. This is
not an ordinary day at the mall…
